Working with idiots

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I work at a gas station/convenience store - it pays the bills while I work on my Master’s degree, and the hours are good - but boy howdy do I end up working with some idiots. The usual qualifications for getting a cashier job where I work involve breathing and being able to stand up. We hope for basic time-telling and math skills, but sadly these hopes often get dashed.

S is a nice lady who has plenty of retail experience. She also has no ability to not answer her cell phone. As cashiers, we’re not supposed to take personal calls except for emergencies, and we’re especially not supposed to talk on a phone while ringing up customers. Nonetheless, if her cell phone rings, she answers it - usually to find out that it’s one of her kids. She will yell at them not to call her, and then proceed to tell them that yes they can go to the pool with Jimmy or the movies with grandma. S also falls down on those time-telling skills I mentioned. If the babysitter she hired to watch her kids when she works the closing shift doesn’t get off work until 5, and the manager schedules S to come in at 5, she says not a word until about 4:45, when she calls to say she won’t be able to make it in on time.

D is a relatively new hire, and I think he only just graduated from high school. The education system seems to have failed him as he lacks some fairly basic math skills. Part of closing down a register involves leaving $50 in it and putting the rest in the safe. How might one go about this? Well, the rest of us count the money, separating out $50 in the process, and put whatever remains after that in the safe. Not D, though, no, no. D guesses how much he has to put in the safe, drops it in, and then counts what’s left. Once he was short $3, and once $9. No, D, I won’t give you that money out of my drawer, then I would be short that much money, and I wasn’t the one who made the mistake. Also, the possible correct answers to “Is the bathroom clean?” do not include “I dunno, why?” and sleeping on the job is usually frowned on so you might want to limit that to a time when there’s no other employees around.

So I figured that the upside to working with idiots is that I can get a great thread on the SDMB out of it - what idiots do you work with? Do you want to hit them with a clue-by-four? Happy tales of successfully educated idiots are also welcome!

2

I used to work with a woman who would ask people to address envelopes for her. This was a pretty informal place and definitely pre-computer, so we would hand-write the envelopes. When she’d ask one of us to send something out, she’d put it in the envelope, seal the envelope, write the address on a post-it note, and then put the post-it note on the envelope. Why couldn’t she just write the adress directly on the envelope instead of involving the post-it middleman? I never got a decent answer to that question.

3

That is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. I cannot even dream up a good reason for that.

4

When I worked at a gas station (six weeks I’ll never forget), a co-worker managed to put regular in a diesel truck. Twice.

There was also the guy who showed up for his first two shifts, the last half of his third, and then disappeared. He wandered by later with his girlfriend and his kid, and mentioned that he quit 'cause he couldn’t support them on $5.30 /hour. I probably agreed that that was true, but I’m sure I refrained from pointing out that while he still had the girlfriend and the kid, he now had no income at all.

5

Long ago, when I worked at a copy shop, we picked up a new assistant manager from a rural part of the state. When cashing out her register drawer, she took each check and circled the address.

In previous years, we used to ask customers for their phone number and write it on the check-- if the customer had a phone number pre-printed on the check, we’d circle it. Circling it didn’t really flag it for later attention; it merely showed management we’d thought about the phone number question, reassuring them that we had remembered to look for a phone number while accepting the check – it does no good after the customer has left the store.

But that practice had ended long ago.

When I saw Miss Rural circling stuff on the checks, long after her customers had left the store, I thought she was highlighting phone numbers, and figured she’d forgotten to do it at the time of the transaction.

I went over to tell her it was no longer necessary. Nope, it turned out she was circling the whole address.

So I asked her, “why?”

“It’s just something we did at our old store to make it easier.”

“Easier to what?”

“It’s just something we did, okay?”

:rolleyes:

Apparently she’d seen other people circling phone numbers and either didn’t ask what they were doing or misunderstood it. As long as she worked there, she busily circled people’s addresses.

Sailboat

6

I work with school bus drivers, and you ALL have me beat.

Mr Bus Guy (dancing with joy suddenly at the relative merits of his co-workers)

7

I’m a legal secretary and I work for five attorneys. One of them is in the habit, when I’m away from my desk, of leaving me a document with a post-it on it saying “Please come and see me regarding this document”. I’ll go to see him, and he asks me to make a photocopy of the document. Wouldn’t it be a lot more efficient to just write “Copy this X1”? I’ve (tactfully) pointed this out to him, adding that with that method he’d have the photocopy in hand even sooner, but he gets very shirty when his method is questioned at all. So, I give up and do it the stupid way.

8

I once had the all-time idiot work for me as a systems analyst. Once, someone in the computer room called and asked him to check if a certain console was switched on that was located near his desk. He stood up, looked at the console, sat down, and hung up the phone! To top this, during his performance review, I went over ad nauseum how he has underperformed, how he has failed in the simplest of assigned tasks, etc. After 30 minutes of this, I asked him if he has any questions. He did. He asked: “What will be my raise?” Unbelievable.

9

I used to work in a live theater with an administrative staff of about 25. One day I came to work and checked my mailbox- one of those grid-types mounted to the wall with an open front, so you can essentially leave or take mail from any box. I saw that every person’s box had a single sheet of 8.5" x 11" paper in it. I pulled mine from my mailbox and read it: “Note to all: please refrain from using copy paper whenever possible. It is getting expensive and we need to cut down.” Signed by the business manager.

I started chuckling, then broke into giggles. The business manager’s secretary heard me and walked around her partition to ask me what was up. The business manager then came out of his office and asked “is there a problem?” I asked him if he saw the irony of printing out 25 pieces of paper with the identical, one-line message about saving paper, rather than posting one sheet on the bulletin board above the mailboxes. He started blustering about how prices have gone up and this is a priority, totally missing the point.

Business manager. Humph.

10

Since my secretary is 500 miles from you and only 3 on 1 instead of 5 on 1, I don’t think you’re talking about me. But in case you are: I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember not to do that anymore. :slight_smile:

11

Oh, please! I have bullet points.

[ul]
[li] First of all there is the woman down in NYC who yelled at me via e-mail yesterday because I asked her what phone number to call for an AmEx discrepancy. It’s her job. I only decided to call because she obviously was not up to handling it and I needed to get it taken care of quickly. So she gets mad at me, because, as she says, (quote) “IF I HAD JUST LOOKED ON THE AMEX BILL I’D SEE THE CUSTOMER SERVICE BILL.” Well, yes. But I asked you because - what if we have a contact? A special number? You deal with them all the time it’s your job, why is this a problem? I’m not even asking you to call them, but just give me the damn number![/li][li] Then today we are doing a big mailing. I told the people involved, you can’t put it on a pdf and e-mail it because too many people’s e-mails block large attachments. And then I told them, I’d need advance warning if you want it done up nicely because I have to send it over to the Kinko’s, etc. And I need money for it.[/li]So it comes in this morning, as a damn pdf file. And they want it out today. And no money. Guess it’s going to be B&W.
[li] Third. One of our employees in another office - I just found this out - sleeps all day at her desk. She is the only person who does her job - data entry for Upstate. :rolleyes: [/li][li] Another one is so anal-retentive about time sheets it’s ridiculous. Um, stupid wench, we all get paid on salary, so if we don’t have a time sheet during our busiest time of the year, it’s OK! Leave me alone![/li][/ul]

I could go on, but that’s enough. We need to have another “mini-rants” in the Pit.

12

Heh, my boss does this, too. I do give her the benefit of the doubt, since she was a teacher for many years, and “see me” is what they all write, but I always feel like I got a bad grade or something.

13

You’d think that common sense wouldn’t be so lacking in highly educated people. You’d think wrong.

[ol]
[li]No, you cannot just draw a person’s blood twice after dialysis if you forgot to do it before and expect correct results for pre- & post.[/li][li]No, I don’t get here the same time you get there. You’re in Arkansas. I’m in California. You don’t get to call me and get all offended just because I wasn’t available at 6am your time.[/li][li]No, I can’t tell you which diagnosis to use. It’s illegal, and I don’t want to go to jail. No, not even if the doctor says it’s okay for me to do it.[/li][li]You cannot access your lab results via the internet, doctor, because you cancelled your internet service to keep your employees from surfing the web. If you want to be able to view your labs as they result, you’re going to have to reinstate your internet service. Because. Because. Because that’s the way it works. [/li][li]To my darling boss: Yes. I know. The printer is doing that thing again where it won’t print. You have to put paper in it, because the paper fairy once again failed miserably in her duties.[/li][/ol]

14

… :confused: :eek: :smiley: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My boss does this, too. “Printer’s out of paper!” Announcing it all cheery-like. Hel*-lo *! Paper’s right next to the printer, and it is ridiculously easy to load more in.

15

It’s been my experience that the more specialized a person’s knowledge, the less common sense they tend to exhibit.

My best friend used to work in a law office. One morning she came in to find five lawyers milling around the copier (directly underneath a sign that said If the copier breaks, call Mandi immediately. Do Not Try to fix it yourself). They scattered as soon as they saw her–apparently, one of them had tried to open it–and broken the whole immovable front panel off.

I used to work for an engineer who was a lieutenant colonel in the Army COE … and once a week, his wife would send him to work with a lunch bag full of pens he’d brought home.

Nothing tops a gentlemen who just left my current company, however. I was called to his office twice in the same day to show him how to open an Excel file.

16

I too have seen the lack of common sense in people who are highly educated. Good grief!

At one time in my career, I handled special pays for military healthcare and dental providers. They received various amounts based on their specialties, time in service, obligation type contracts, and just because they were providers who weren’t residents or interns. It absolutely dumbfounded me when they couldn’t figure out what they were entitled to even though it was all spelled out in black and white. I had to hold their hand through the entire process. I would send out e-mail notifications and hardcopy contracts to each and every provider who was entitled to the money. I would warn them that if they didn’t sign the contract by a particular date, they wouldn’t receive the money on time. I would also warn them that if they didn’t sign by a particular date AFTER the contract effective date, it changed the effective date of the contract. They just NEVER seemed to get it. I would have to explain to most every one of them that if the rates for their specialties went up and they were in a multi-year contract, that they would have to renegotiate and further obligate themselves to the Army. I explained over and over. I was a mere GS-05 without a college education at this point. If I could understand it, why couldn’t they?

An example would be: Contract and check number one: $15,000 grand for the year just because provider was doc not in training.

Contract and check number two: (this is a an example, remember): $36,000 for being an orthopedic surgeon not in training.

Contract and check number three: An additional $10,000 grand because they signed an a 4 year contract.

The most common indignant question from the docs was, “What do you mean, they take taxes out of the check?!” This from docs who had been in the service for quite some time.

I’m thinking, “Uh, yeah, dumbass, the money comes from Uncle Sam and is considered income. It’s not a present, fer crissakes!” Of course, I’d be all professional like and couch my reply in a much more tame and pleasant manner.

Things have changed greatly since I had that particular job. I thank the gods that I don’t have that particular job anymore.

17

Too many posts to quote!

Okay, like campion’s coworker who’d write the address on a Post-It and stick it on the envelope and teela brown’s attorney who’d say, “Come see me about this” and just ask her to copy it - I’ve worked with both these people, I swear. I used to work at an insurance agency, and the office manager would give me envelopes all the time with the address Post-It-ed to the front. I’d just sit there thinking, “WTF? Is she serious?”
The owner of the agency would always leave things on my desk with just, “See me ASAP!” (on another Post-It) on it. I’d go see him, and he’d say, “I need four copies of that right away” or “Mail that to Client ABC today.” If he’d just left it with those instructions, it would get done that much quicker.
And like Maureen’s boss and the Paper Fairies. Ugh, that was my biggest pet peeve about the place. No one could put paper in the copier. They’d stand there, looking mystified, and then turn to me and say, almost hysterically, “The copier’s out of paper!”
Yeah, that happens every so often. There’s about 10 boxes of paper right there, moron. Open a pack, open the drawer, and put some in.
There was one woman who just couldn’t be bothered. I saw her many times, suddenly get stopped in her copying job, open the paper drawer just a teeny bit, peek in, slide it shut quietly, and then cheerfully announce, “All done!” and walk away. She just refused to put paper in - she’d wait to finish whatever she needed rather than put paper in the damn thing. Sometimes (I’m evil, I know), if I knew she had a big job to copy, I’d go and empty the paper drawer except for a few sheets of paper.
And McNew’s paperwaster. Where I work now, a woman always puts up signs in the bathroom (and in everyone’s mailboxes, just like McNew’s boxes) about not wasting paper, specifically paper towels in the bathrooms. She prints up cutsey little rhymes about not using too many towels after washing your hands - “Why use two when one will do?” and “Save a tree, don’t use three!”
Since she posts them right by the sink, they get wet, and she has to replace them often. She also puts notes in our mailboxes all the time, little admonishments about not wasting ‘our precious resources.’ One of these days, I’m going to remind her that she’s wasting our precious resources by printing this crap up all the time.

18

Coworker #1 requires some data from me. He delegates this to his flunky - coworker #2 - who is offsite.

Eventually (a day later) coworker #2 gets round to emailing me to ask for what is needed. I am unaware that these were requested from coworker #1.

Alas, he doesn’t give the specifics.

I therefore send an email to coworker #2 asking precisely what data are required, who, unbeknownst to me, forwards my request onto coworker #1 for clarification, receives it, and then rewrites his reply, and emails this back to me.

The requirements are still not clear, so I send a further request to coworker #2, who again without my knowledge, requests clarification from coworker #1.

Finally after much farting around on email, I establish what is required, and email coworker #2 the correct data - who then forwards them to coworker #1.

I receive an email of thanks from coworker #2, the content of which makes me realise that the whole request has been run by coworker #1.

The process took 48 hours, and involved at least 14 emails.

What I am only revealing now - for effect of course - is that coworker #1 sits next to me, in an open-plan office.

The entire performance could have been achieved in 2 minutes, with no email at all - had he merely swivelled his chair and asked. They’re not idiots, mind you, they’re very intelligent people.

19

The only remotely plausible reason is that her handwriting is terrible and she wants to make sure it’s legible? I sometimes end up having to waste a few envelopes if I’m sending out something important. I don’t ask for someone else to address it, though.

20

Today at work another supervisor asked me if I knew how to figure percentages using a calculator. Okay, is this a trick question? I answered in the affirmative, and he points me toward an agent who apparently doesn’t know how to figure out what 25% of a charge is. I was fairly stunned–both of these people graduated high school?! Hey, let me put it into terms y’all can understand–if you have an ounce of pot and someone wants to buy a quarter, how many piles do you divide it into? :smack: