Anybody who does this has forgotten that everyone poops and would qualify for being an asshole, IMO. Sometimes it’s impossible to hold it in until you get to a “safe zone” bathroom, and sometimes one is not available, so you make do with what you’re given.
Personally, when I have to poop, I usually use the customer bathrooms with stalls so I don’t have to use the Lysol provided in the (single stall) employee bathrooms afterward; the public bathrooms have usually been filled with the odor of “shiffitti” by the time I get there anyway.
What nashiitashii said. I’ve been known to inform young ladies of impeccable but squeamish upbringing that Thee Shalt Change The Roll Of TP Or Else Thou Shalt Have To Do As Our Lady Had To And Use Thy Hand. They went running to the priest (it was the parish’ summer camp), who thoughtfully informed them that yes, in those times Scottex was not in business yet and anyway pissing off the camp’s cooks is never a good idea.
It’s a bathroom. What do you expect to hear, the Vienna Philarmonic Orchestra?
I had a co-worker with a phobia about pooping in public bathrooms. She claimed she had never pooped at work. That made me wonder…does she jump in the car and go home every time she has to poop or does she just hold it in for 8 hours? I never asked.
The only thing that really bugs me is when there are six empty stalls in the bathroom and someone uses the one right next to mine.
A few years back, I used to work at a restaurant. Taking a smoke break outside with a few co-workers, I suddenly had the urge to deuce. I remember abruptly putting out my cigarette and exclaiming succinctly, “Diarrhea!” Plopping down onto the toilet, I began to let fly a glorious stream of liquid excrement from my rear orifice. Just then, my manager walks in (I could tell by his shoes) and starts peeing in a nearby urinal. Immediately, I pinched off my sphincter, because I was really blowing up the toilet bowl. It was loud, man. This was a very awkward time for me. A few squirts squeaked out, but other than that, I kept my cool until my manager left. Pinching off a diarrhea session might be more uncomfortable than pinching off a piss.
I can honestly say that I’ve never pooped at work. I usually only poop about 3 times a week and it’s always in the morning.
I actually had a best friend that would purposely hold in his morning poop UNTIL he got to work so that he could get “paid” to poop by doing it on company time!
Whereas it might be difficult to fit an entire orchestra into one small bathroom, there should certainly be sufficient space available for a soloist. One of the instruments employed by the VPO is the BB-flat rotary-valve tuba. This makes a sound that is entirely consistent with noises often heard in a lavatory stall environment, so your suggestion is not as totally wacky as it might at first seem.
I don’t like to hear the sounds of others pooping, and I don’t want them to hear me. It’s bizarre, I know, but it embarrasses me for some reason. Farts (and other noises) are covered by flushing, and it seems that all the girls do it.
Never, And I mean never, dis’ the duece. You’ll end up with colon polyps.
I would be flushing 15 times a session. Maybe it’s because I live in a high desert, but that seems like a waste of water to me.
I like this approach.
If you’ve ever seen Enemy at the Gates, there’s that scene near the beginning where Russian sniper Vasily Zaytsev is instructed to fire ONLY during an explosion so that nearby enemy soldiers won’t be able to hear the gunfire.
If I am pooping and someone walks in to use the bathroom, I pinch and wait until that person flushes, turns on the water, and then, if I’m lucky enough to be in a bathroom with one of those noisy hand dryers, I can usually finish up in those valuable seconds.
You can always cough, too. This one is a little obvious, though. I may reserve this for a fart while I’m in the office or out with company.
Okay, I thought for a moment this was going to be about someone reading and eating lunch in the bathroom stall. I am glad to find out I was wrong in my assumption.
This is the thing that bugs me in washrooms. The rest, eh, don’t care - bathrooms smell, and you hear bodily noises in them. Where you plunk your fat ass is optional, though - take it at least one stall away from an occupied one. I think it’s a personal space thing - someone sitting right next to me in the next stall is within my circumference of comfort.
We have bathrooms with single toilets and locking doors. While you might think, WOW, what a luxury for an office, I actually hate it… You see, the doors are not very thick. And they are not discreetly hidden at the end of some hallway. Nooo, they are SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORKROOMS! These are the rooms we use for lunch, meetings with other teachers or parents, to borrow a computer if the classroom is occupied, to make phone calls, to make copies, etc. So imagine trying to have a civilized meeting with a parent who is mad that Junior earned himself a D, when suddenly there are the unmistakeable sounds of someone letting it rip. A little hard to keep your composure…