Hi, Cyren - nice to meet you. STORIES! STORIES!
YES. I might be new here, but I live in a town this big and my employer happens to be the #2 employer for the entire region. So I plan to air my grievances here.
- My boss: STOP calling in “sick” at least once a week. Regular employees get fired for taking too frequent unpaid time off, but you are well over your time off and suffer no consequences at all. And for fuck’s sake, MAN UP and call in sick for yourself, rather than leaving ME a voicemail asking that I call YOUR boss for you. It’s not my job and it’s not cool.
*My grand-boss: STOP FUCKING ALLOWING MY BOSS TO CALL IN SICK BY PROXY. We are GROSSLY understaffed and someone is about to get hurt. Our business has staffing ratios for a reason. We are no longer meeting those ratios. It’s only a matter of time.
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Former peer who got promoted: Congrat-u-fuckinglations, you got a promotion. The power-plays you have pulled this week, docking people’s pay for reasons we both know aren’t policy is not acceptable. Your dick is not magically any bigger than it was. Also, it was FUCKING MEAN to revoke a person’s transfer because you didn’t like his shirt. WTF?!
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CFO: I found your resume on the Intarwebs. The last three companies you worked for declared bankruptcy and shut down about 1 year after you took over financial control. Since you have come on here, pay has been MASSIVELY fucked, and you are DAMN lucky many “minor” staff are unaware that you are legally obligated to have paid in full all employees by the end of business x number of days post-pay period closing. 'Cause if they did and they called labor board, we’d be screwed. PS- Payroll for the year will be a few hundred dollars off. I know, I found the error. When I found the last major error, you tried to take credit and were profoundly rude. A few hundred dollars isn’t much, but just enough to drive you crazy for weeks trying to find the error. Good luck with that.
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CEO: I thought you were just green and overwhelmed, but it turns out, you are evil. The surprise inspection of the few staff you have working on Friday to “bust” them for minor dress code issues? Yeah, turns out that some of us in management kinda clued in the employees in question. We’ve gotten wise to the plan to fire many staff on bullshit trumped-up charges to avoid calling it a layoff and avoid paying unemployment. It’s rude, and it’s wrong.
Dear Customer Who I Gave My Contact Info To;
Stop fucking calling me six times a day and failing to leave a message each time. I’m sorry, but I’M FUCKING BUSY WITH OTHER CALLS. As my email to you said, you’re going to get my voicemail every single time and you need to leave a message. No, I don’t recognize your number off the top of my head, I give out my contact information a half-dozen times per day, and I take 20-30 calls a day. So I don’t fucking know who you are or why you’re calling. That’s the idea behind voicemail and email. You know, systems which you could be using to let me know who the fuck you are and why the fuck you’re calling me over and fucking over again. Which might then result in me calling you back and whateverthefuck you want from me being taken care of. But obviously NO, you’re too fucking stupid to do that. So fuck off already and get someone else to take care of your fucking problem, because at this point you’re only FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!
Wow - there are some seriously crappy people at your job.
ETA: That was aimed at SparkleLilly.
:smack:
Okay, I guess the “controlling” & “narcissistic” are synonymous.
Backstory: when I came to work in this special Hell (SH from this point forward), I was warned. Having been in management myself, I know that if your staff love and adore you, you’re a lousy manager. 
Brushed it off as grudges and garbage and I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED!
Example.
Crazy Boss: "I was going to get my hair cut shorter today but then I realized how round your face is, bless your heart, and I decided to leave it long.
Cow-orker (not a typo): “It looks great! But I don’t think Cyren’s face is round, I think she looks cute with her hair like that.”
CB: “You would.” stomps off
Crazy Boss does not speak directly to me for a week but we all get to hear about her amazing Brazilian blow outs, conditioning treatments, Master-Stylist, etc. every single freakin’ second of every single day and this is the HOT TOPIC - we cannot do our work because if we are not looking directly at her she makes a sarcastic, hurtful remark about us (as an individual) to get our attention and publicly humiliate us. (I need to add here: the woman actually wears a tiara. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus - she has an assortment of tiaras in her office and prances around telling us all that she is the Queen).
If we appear to be working as a “team”, she SEPARATES US or takes us each into her office, one at a time to tell us all the smack the others have been talking about us (when in reality, she is the one talking smack and we hear it).
I recently got a new “assignment”. She put me in charge of a division (that didn’t exist) and said, “make this work”. 3 months ago… I am making it work but she has no idea what I’m doing. She’s going to come to me any day now and ask for spreadsheets, charts and numbers so she can present them to her boss and I will get NO credit for making the impossible happen. Do you know WHY I got this new assignment? I will tell you - it’s because her boss brought me two Jack in the Box tacos and some cold fries and told me how happy is that I’m a part of their “team”. She whispers this when she walks by sometimes… “so happy to have you on our team…” but never looks me in the eye.
She’s mean, mean, mean and totally self-centered and dehumanizing.
Lazy: When she isn’t tooting her own horn or riding on the accolades of OUR hard work, she’s on Farmville. I kid you not. If Farmville was real, the woman would be a friggin’ BAZILLIONAIRE… she doesn’t even know how to use our phone system, so we have to peek into her office (yikes!) and let her know she has a call and are you ready for this?!! She puts on one of her tiaras, picks up the call and says, “thank you, that is all” so the person on the line can hear her and then “shoos” us away with her hands.
I feel like I’m working in a really bad cartoon.
And this is NOTHING. 
Nice to meet YOU! And this is just the beginning… sobbing
On the plus side, if you can somehow convince her to have lots of Brazilian Blowouts, your problem might get solved for you. 
When she dismisses you from her office, do you back out of the office bowing? I think I might.
It wasn’t like this a year ago. I suspect the company is in very serious financial trouble.
Meanwhile, anyone wanna bet on whether my boss will be there tomorrow?
When she dismisses you from her office, do you back out of the office bowing? I think I might.
[/QUOTE]
OMG… YOU are BRILLIANT!!! 
Someone as over-the-top as she is, I think I’d make it my mission to take it to the extreme and see how far I could go before she caught on. My guess is she never would - she’d take it as her due, and I would get a lot of laughs out of it. 
If you happen to run into her boss(es), be sure to tell them, just as an aside of course, how happy you are to get a chance to do Project X and how much you think it will help the company. If you forget, and do it once or twice more after that, well, that’s just your enthusiasm talking, right?
Seriously, as one who has had his important work stolen by the people who assigned it to me, the lesson I took away was to ENSURE that THEIR bosses knew who was doing the actual work well before it was ever delivered.
You are absolutely right. See? I’m so worried about being (reciprocally) unkind or mocking and the reality is, she wouldn’t even know I was making fun of her. She would probably eat it right up!!!
Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha maniacally laughing In fact… do you think it would be pushing it if brought a length of red carpet to work? Nah… better ease her into that. 
If I can get her out from between his ass cheeks long enough I will! giggling
Boss: Hey MoeJoe, good news! The Holiday party is not a pot luck this year! Can you plan it?
MoeJoe: um…Coworker who planned it last year did such a great job, the party was really nice.
Boss: Yeah, but she’s…you know…weird…could you just kind of act like you’re helping her and plan it?
MoeJoe: well, I’d be happy to help her of course. When is the party?
Boss: Tuesday!
MoeJoe: I don’t work Tuesdays.
Boss: I know, but you could come anyway…right?
Send her boss weekly updates of your progress. Don’t let her know that you’re doing this. Just quietly let her boss know who’s working on this project. With any luck, your boss’s boss won’t let your boss know that you’re doing this, and when Queen Tiara tries to claim your work as her own, it’ll backfire on her.
Of course, we’ll need the story for this one, too.
Having come to terms with the (way over the top CYA) tactics I’ve learned thus far, I have created two extra spreadsheets: one shows financial gain, one is documentation of every conversation I’ve had with every customer (time and date) and uploaded to a gmail account (in google docs) that I created the day I figured out this was either sabotage (because it couldn’t be done, :)) or might be “borrowed” hard work. Daily accounts of every action I have taken, every cent I’ve recovered.
The thing is… I wish it didn’t have to be this way. The real “backfire” is going to come when she realizes she created a position for me to keep me isolated and finds it was actually very beneficial for this company. Even if I don’t get credit, I’ll know the company and I succeeded in spite of her.
Document, document, document. It’s a HUGE waste of time… takes me more time to document than it does to do my “job”. le sigh
Maybe she’ll find her magickal kingdom and let us get back to work at growing this company… a girl can dream.
I will say, after reading this thread, I might have an idea why I went to school for 6 years. You want to know all the gripes I have about retail pharmacy? Watch this Youtube video.
True, this video is exaggerated, but, at least one thing this patient does seems to happen with every single patient!
She sounds easy to manipulate - it shouldn’t be too difficult to sideline her. I mean, theoretically - it probably wouldn’t be ethical to distract your boss with shiny objects so you can get your own work done.
To get my password I had to give my national insurance no… no reason for this other than the I.T. dept say so…My password then changes every 3 months no old passwords are allowed, it’s STUPID. If you forget your password you need to call the I.T. they can’t do anything without your N.I. number… I’ve been on hold for 20mins with the same shitbag message about random bollocks that is irrelevant!
After 20 mins they answer the phone and ask for my N.I.no… which I didn’t know I nerded and without which I cannot access my account.
“Do you not think that this information could be put in the looped message that I’ve been listening to for the last 20 minutes?”
“We can’t put all the information in the messsage”
“I’m not asking for all the information, just one CRUCIAL bit, that is ESSENTIAL to ALL the people calling this number!”
Workplace gripes.
Ok,
Bar owners that complain I don’t review bands at the bars…when all they have is cover bands and I write a column on original live music…seem offended when they find out that thier ad rep doesn’t assign my story.
College chicks that insist on me taking photos of them making duck faces into the lens when I’m trying to take photos of the band for the paper. That big long white lens isn’t going to focus that close, but there’s not point in arguing with them. I just have it make clicky noises till they go away, then get on with my life.
the damn sound guys who get pressed into lighting duty. No, lighting the stage up alternatly red, then blue every half a second doesn’t make the show more interesting, it gives people headaches and makes it a bitch to photo the band.
The bands that think “we just want to hang out with our friends and have fun” is a good answer to an interveiw question when “we hate our parents” is the real one I get from them after a little effort.