Dear Co-worker who trained me,
I like you, I think you are a nice person. You have lots of experience in the processes you are teaching me me. I’m all good with that. But for Goddess’s sake let me take care of my own responsibilities in my own way! I am perfectly capable of answering an email without cc’ing you on every reply; I can take care of reminding people to turn in their reports without cc’ing you; I have been here long enough that I don’t need you to direct how I schedule my day. I am not you and a few things I do are not going to be the way you did them. LEAVE ME ALONE! You are not my boss and I am not answerable to you! If I need help or a task to do I will ask! Don’t just randomly say “We need to do XYZ thing soon,” and expect me to remember that a week later. You are too hyper and your are driving me to drink. I need another martini.
Can we stop rigging the “random drawings” for rewards and shit? It’s been going on for so long that it is painfully obvious to the intelligent observers that only your little favorites ever win anything.
The god-damned boss would not let me leave early today (Friday).
Oh, wait a minute . . .
I quit a job with a supervisor like that - she was watching every little thing I did, and questioning everything and not allowing me one millimeter of individuality in the job duties. For instance, part of my duties was taking care of the credit card statement that came in from one of the company owners, and allocating each purchase to the correct account. Since it was the same each month, I made a little spreadsheet so I could just plug the amounts in and have all the work done for me. She was quite irritated when she found out about the spreadsheet - “micro-manager” doesn’t even start to describe her. “Nuts” goes a long way, though.
It’s almost that bad, but I’m trying to cut her some slack. This job was hers for 7 years, so she thinks her was was the best way. Not so, sister. I also don’t have her hyper energy and take my day at a slower pace, which seems to drive her a little nuts. OMG I didn’t answer that email immediately!!! OMG I didn’t jump up and grovel when the VP came in! OMG I didn’t do whateverthehell ASAP! Chill Chica! The world isn’t going to end because I didn’t interrupt my learning new process number 92 to make sure that somebody knows that their stupid pens aren’t going to be delivered until Monday… GAH!
Oh, and they have the horribly complicated filing system which I am honestly afraid I will never learn and am always putting things in the wrong place. I came from an engineering background and now I’m in Purchasing for a company that has locations all over the world. They are having to change the way they do things just so I can try to catch up, and it’s annoying the hell out of her.
She’s nice and we get on well, but for gracious sake, Corporate Purchasing and Engineering Aide is now my job. Let me do it!
ETA: I was unemployed since January, I only started this job in October. I’m just glad to have a job that I kinda like for a firm that seems to appreciate it’s people.
That’s another thing that drives me a little crazy - co-workers or supervisors who bend over backwards to do everyone else’s jobs for them, and expect the same from me. You know, if you made the people you cater to responsible for their own shit, a lot of your busy work would end. An example of this that comes to mind was chasing people down to make sure their hours for the week were correct - you forget to put your hours in or your hours aren’t right, you get a wrong paycheque, and I bet you only do that once. No, instead it was part of my duties to make sure that everyone managed to get their hours right, and chase them down to fix anything. I don’t care for babysitting adults.
Based on my experience dealing with the Pedagogy-Infested, what they meant was “that does not match what I was taught in school, and thou art just a peon who doesn’t know shit”; what they actually were telling us was “I never learned that pedagogy must serve teaching, and not the other way 'round.” It’s the bad pedagogue’s version of “but we can’t change the procedures! They’re the procedures!”, aka “I’d be a fucking moron if I was getting laid.”
Blech, the people on my team at work are like that… there’s this one consultant who basically writes all of their emails for them, fills in their timesheets for them (those who are consultants), negotiated their salaries and perks for them, and finds a way to pick on me for every little thing I do for them. I know. I used to let him control me like that, too. I’m so unpopular now basically because I stopped allowing it.
Dear Co-worker,
I appreciate that our systems team is not moving that quickly. They promised us something and haven’t yet delivered it, even though they’re technically a month overdue. But… First, even though we’re well into our busiest season of the year, you’ve demanded significant changes to the product, which changed the scope of work, which means that it’ll take longer. That’s just the way it works. Second, I’m the product manager. You guys are in the call center. Just because I refuse to go over every half hour and demand an update from the new programmer does not mean you should. It also doesn’t mean that it’s okay for your manager to do it, and no, the researchers shouldn’t do it, either. It’s confusing when he has someone on the business side and three people on the consumer side popping up at his desk - he doesn’t know who to e-mail when he does have an update and he’s really flustered because you won’t fucking leave him alone. I’ve already spoken to the programmer and his manager and he has help now and will get us something today or early tomorrow. Leave. Him. Alone. Right now.
And I almost forgot: you are the single most anal person I’ve ever met, even worse than my boss, which is saying a lot. I wrote you some documentation on the product you’re using. You came back with edits. I could understand this if the edits were related to inaccuracies or if the document were confusing or incomplete. But the edits you had were to a portion of the product you don’t use. And your primary issue was that I didn’t refer to a sort button as the “A/Z down arrow button.” Any idiot who has ever used excel or word knows what a sort button is.
Oh, and fixing a button on the product you’re using isn’t an enhancement. So, when I have a “product enhancement meeting,” perhaps you could talk about, oh, maybe product enhancements instead of fixes. You see, a product enhancement significantly improves a product and extends the product’s life. A fix is a correction. See? They’re different. If the product isn’t working, tell me and I’ll work with systems to get it working. If you need an enhancement, I’m creating the budget for next year; now is the time to tell me.
I know you think I’m a shitty product manager because I don’t turn into a raging bitch when someone doesn’t meet a deliverable. And you think I’m lax because I ask systems, “Can you fit this in?” when we decide to completely change the product mid-development. You dislike my working style because I have the gall to ask you, “Does this prevent you from doing your job?” because I’m attempting to help systems manage their workload. If it helps you feel justified in disliking me, I think you’re pretty shitty for refusing to back down when I pointed out that the changes you require are going to take longer and then getting mad when they gasp take longer. And I think you’re a jackass for thinking that systems, who supports this entire company and the many products we’re developing, should focus only on ours. Being a bitch tends to backfire when you’re trying to get someone to do something for you. And now that you’ve taken it upon yourself to demand updates from our programmer, he’s flustered and confused and things are taking longer than if you would’ve left him the hell alone. His manager is also now involved, and I have to go through him before I communicate with the programmer. Thanks so much for making my and your life and the life of the six researchers trying to use the product more difficult. Now, why don’t you sit down and find something better to do with your time?
overlyverbose: Truth in advertising since 2003.
I’d give you a TL;DR, but I did actually read the whole thing. 
I figured I had to use that username or something similar (Maybe I can change it to GivesTooMuchDetail) or I’d be sued for boring someone senseless. 
overly, if I ever end up on that side of the pond again, can I have you as my manager? I’d like to be allowed the use of the “T for let’s take a break now” hand sign, though
This is ridiculously minor, but I’m glad one of my new officemates always comes in late. The reason I’m glad is that I find her voice terribly distracting, specially on the phone 
Damn! It isn’t even that she is actually doing something wrong, there’s just some anti-harmonics in there which feel like claws up my spine…
Hey, you know what’s awesome? When you wait 'til this morning to tell me that we’re going to be getting edits back for that document I updated for you yesterday. And that it will need to go out with the door with you around noon. Which is, coincidentally, the same time that a massive document for another client, which I’m also doing edits for this morning, because nobody in this fucking company can get shit done anytime other than the last fucking second, has to be out the door, in multiple bound copies.
Absolutely. And feel free to make the hand sign - I’d love to see it.
Another workplace gripe (got one almost every day this time of year): Dear researcher, I’m sitting right here. That means that I can hear you when you complain about me to your manager. Oh, did I just hear you say that you’re doing systems’ job and my job? Well, in that case, how’s about you read this 400-page piece of proposed legislation, work with our lobby to formulate a response, put together the budget for next year, develop a product enhancement plan, a marketing plan, do the interview with the NY Times on your day off, do the speaking engagement for the Agencies on Aging while implementing all the product changes, managing systems’ workload and managing idiots like you who freak out when they have to work until gasp 5:30? No? Okay, go back to your corner and sit the fuck down.
PS - I thought it was hilarious when you complained about me and your manager stated, “I wish I could sympathize. Unfortunately, overly and I are helping manage systems as best we can, and you really have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you give me that file you’re having issues with and go back to work? Thanks.”
Some people’s sneezes are like that for me - they make me want to growl like a dog and tell them to stop that.
overly, thank God her manager doesn’t have her head up HER ass!
Just got out of a meeting with the CEO.
There will be no Christmas party this year. Because we need to work hard instead.
Then there were 30 minutes of drivel about this “scheme” they have to “compensate” us for the portion of our salaries they couldn’t pay in the spring. Are they going to give us the missing portions of our salaries plus interest? No. At some hypothetical point in the future when the company hypothetically sells for more than a hypothetically large amount, non-managerial employees share 1% of that amount. But it will be divvied up according to corporate perception of “commitment” to the company.
Which doesn’t piss me off nearly as much as it should, because it won’t ever happen. Because we don’t have any sales yet this year and the company will almost certainly fold by next summer.
It fucking deserves it.
So, do you figure there’s anyone at your company who isn’t frantically updating their resume, if they haven’t already?
Plenty of people… pretty much everyone who didn’t leave this spring. They all like to believe that investor money will keep us afloat forever. I mean, it’s worked for six years now.
I’m new here and this thread caught my eye immediately.
MY BOSS IS A CONTROLLING, NARCISSISTIC, LAZY WHORE!
I feel better now.
Sorry, you’re gonna have to give us examples of HOW she’s a controlling, narcisstic, lazy whore before you’ll have any cred. So make with the examples already.