I’m crushed, I tells ya, crushed!
Roddy
I knew you would be.
I didn’t know it was even possible to threadshit in the Pit, but apparently it is.
Learn something new every day.
If you people want that earworm fixed, I can do it. It won’t be pretty, but it’ll do the job.
This spoiler box is not safe for children and other living things.
Don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart, I just don’t think he’ll understand…
Ack! Those of us on Tapatalk don’t get the spoiler box! Thanks a lot!
(don’t tell my heart… my achy breaky heart…)
You mean your husband’s massive boner? 
I was not going to do jealous fits over that either. But, now that you said something…oh wow, the jokes will happen 
Mean Dean came over to check on me and kittens. He gently pulled my bandage off, gentle hands pulling the tape off. His hands soft and careful as he looked over my stitches. Dean leaned forward, his tongue almost touching my foot…
Then he moved me to the middle of the bed, propped my foot up, gave me water and pain meds…
And went off to look at the kittens and clean the boxes.
oops…I meant this to go to the November rant thread. I know I shoujld not post on drugs, sorry all.
The spoiler box worked great for me. Then you posted. :mad:
That was beautiful, spotthegerbil.
It needed to be openly shared with the masses? Yeah! That’s it!
Update on the Lair of the Ratking
Sadly, I wasn’t there to see this, so its only second hand. During the “lets blame everyone else for the problem” meetings, someone suggested that I lock some of my ferals in the warehouse. Of course, this suggestion was met with extreme disapproval on my part.
I love my wild cats, I wouldn’t lock them up in a stinky, dark warehouse to fight with rats. I suggested ratdogs, which of course outraged the dog lovers.
Ferrets were suggested, but the ferret owner also refused to lock his beloved pets in that mess.
The wheels are moving slow and I’ve heard reports that some of my precious boxes are melting due to liquid output.
One of the facilities guys went home from the meeting and told his wife that gasp, outrage I had suggested that he bring their Jack Russel and Mini-Pin to deal with the rats. His wife thought that was a wonderful idea and called the vet to be sure that the dogs had the proper vaccinations.
So, in the middle of a sunny desert day, the wind blowing sand and tumbleweeds over the isolated area, one lone jeep leaves dust trails as it bounces over the rutted dirt road. An obviously nervous man is driving, a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. He’s speaking to a pretty woman who is wearing hiking boots, jeans and holding two very excited ratdogs on her lap.
The conversation is something like "Honey, are you sure this is a good idea? Yes, Dear, the boys are going to have a great time. It will be like the time they got to chase that gopher out of the yard. Are you sure? I don’t feel good about this. I’m sure, HONEY, they are going to love it.
The driver carefully parks the jeep upwind from the festering lair, gives his wife a doubtful look, but sets the parking break anyhow. The dogs, bred for this sort of thing are able to sniff the rodents and start barking and pawing and jumping at the windows. They have their chance to meet their mortal foe and want to prove themselves. Much slavering and snarling commences as the dogs leap out of the jeep and the lady runs out after them.
One of the dogs pounces on a rat and breaks its neck, then drags the body back to the lady. She parises the dog and gives the man a proud grin. He still looks worried but fumbles around with his keys and finds the one for the door. He gives her a doubtful look, but opens the door and the hounds of rathell run in.
They hear sounds of battle, rats crying with pain and dogs snarling.
Suddenly, both of the dogs run out of the Lair of the Ratking, don’t stop to warn their humans and fling themselves into the jeep while barking barks that sounded a lot like GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!
The scorecard is 6 dead rats, 2 ratdogs that want to go vegan instead of risking meat ever again and an enviromental study to allow us to just kill everything.
Wow. That is awesome. 
And yeah, no way would I have sic’d my ferrets, back when I owned them, on rats. Rats are big and mean and full of germs. No sense in getting a beloved pet bit by some evil vermin.
Rat King 1, puny humans 0.
I love this story.
Gotta respect those dogs for making a solid account of themselves, and then getting while the getting is good.
There’s only one thing to do.
Send some Live Action Role Playing Gamers (LARPers) in there. See, the traditional monster for first/second level RPG characters is giant rats. As in, the first adventure for the newbies usually consists of the Dungeon Master telling the group that they’ve been hired to clean out a rat’s nest.
Granted, D&D giant rats are usually a couple of feet long, but I imagine that your Live Action rats will be more than big enough for most LARPers.
I think you need some barn cats in there, not wimpy house cats or ferals that used to be wimpy house cats - some cats that are serious about killing rats like it’s their job (which is basically is). Cats that learned to kill a rat at their mommy’s knee.
You could seal the building and flood it with carbon monoxide. You wouldn’t need a perfect seal, just enough to allow a reasonably toxic buildup.
Then let the building air out. Humane death for the rodents, no lingering toxicity or damage to the contents of the building.
OMFG! I’ve been using that song for years to annoy my wife and get it stuck in her head!