Didn’t we tell you to take it easy? However, I’d probably do a Happy Dance on a broken foot myself, if I’d been in a similar situation.
I suggest taking lime Jello. Possibly some sort of ramen noodle casserole.
And try not to pass out from the sheer joy. Your gain is the Workplace Griping thread’s loss, this thread just won’t be the same without him.
I don’t understand. If he’s retiring, you’re going to be rid of him anyway. 
This fills me with…many feelings. Sadness at the loss of “Tales of SG.” Joy at flatlined’s new-found freedom from SG. Wonder at the chutzpah of SG. And anticipation of more tales of the Rat King and the Files of Doom.
Our office assistant is sneezing and coughing. Our office is so cold and dry we both sneeze all the time. But today every time she does it she’s murmuring “My goodness.” Does she want me to say something? I am not going to say “God bless you” every fucking time she sneezes. She’s said it about eight times already today and she’s only been here two and a half hours. I like her, but I hate this trolling for a reaction.
If he retires, as he has before, from other places, then he gets his retirement payment and his new paycheck. Provided he finds another job. If he can’t find another job, he might try to get his old job back because: A) his retirement check is going to be smaller than his paycheck, and B) if he comes back and works more years he’ll get a larger retirement check when he does finally retire.
Most retirements will not pay if you return to a job with your old company, but they will pay if you’re working somewhere else. It’s just a matter of whether you’re old enough to claim the retirement benefit.
Sigmagirl: If I do something like that, for me at least it’s my way of trying to say “excuse my loud noise and being germy.” Since you’re both sneezing, she might well just be doing it out of habit.
Ah, but we’d settle for some “I don’t have to put up with SG” stories.
Big congrats!
(I hate to get all serious and spiritual, but I’ll say a prayer that SG finds The Perfect Job)
(far away from people) (or better yet, where he can be paired up with a co-dependant enabler that will just LOVE giving him a ride to work… oh, and they’ll stop by the casino on their way home)
And please, don’t forget to keep us up to date on breaking stories:
The Rat King, The Retirement Party, SG’s Final Meltdown, The HR Rep That Got Drunk And Blabbed, The Forks That Went Missing In The Middle Of The Party, and The Day That The Storage Facility Accidentally Got In The Way Of The Grenade Launcher.
We’ve both complained to the boss about how cold and dry it is in here. We had a space heater but it gave up the ghost. I’m pretty sure she’s not germy; it’s just the superdry air that’s irritating. It’s static electricity central.
Wow, I’m really flattered. Or, no I’m not. My only fame is because I haven’t pushed SG into the shredder feet first. tosses myself on the bed sobbing 
Sedona’s casinos are run by a different tribe than the ones here. SG probably hasn’t gotten banned by that tribe yet.
Sedona is also confusing because it grew over the county lines. Elections are a mess there because people on one side of the street or even next door to each other are in different counties.
People are always confused about which county they should contact for their problems. As a result, we work with the folks on the other side of the line to exchange ballots, documents and other things that ended up in the wrong place. SG always volunteers to spend the day driving 180 miles and I’ve always let him do it.
This means that SG can use the good ol’ boy network to get in with a different county. SG is charming and he knows everything about everyone. SG also knows how to work the old and po angle. I fell for it for a while.
digs, you have given me an idea. (my laptop is not allowing me to quote for some reason). The storage unit is out in the middle of the desert…Marines train in the desert…I ride with retired Marines, who know active duty Marines. hmmmmmmmmm.
2012: The Year All The Loose Ends Were Tied Up
Oh no, you’re also my favorite provider of pics of burly Marine bikers.
Aw, I must have missed those. 
Me too.
Hey office buddy: our supervisor wasn’t here today…but his boss was. I’m pretty sure he noticed when you failed to respond to three intercom pages because you had wandered out to your car for a snack.
Tch, you ladies need to pay more attention.
Interesting day yesterday – got smacked a couple of times.
I was chatting to one of the lawyers from the firm upstairs, XXX, when another lawyer entered the building from the very cold parking lot and exclaimed, “Shit!” I said, “Yeh, XXX has that effect on people.” SMACK, one to the head!
Later that morning, another lawyer from the firm upstairs complained about my delaying his meeting with his clients due to their previous meeting with me running overtime, saying that he charges by the hour. I replied that I charge by the hour too. SMACK, one to the shoulder!
I gotta learn how to duck.
Thank you, Nava
I’m going back to work on Tuesday. There will be at least 20 problem boxes stacked around my desk. There were over 100 after my surgery.
I don’t get it. When I took 2 weeks off for vacation, my boss was calling and emailing frantically. I was out having fun and doing things, I didn’t want to be bothered by work.
Now that I’m not supposed to do anything but sit around with my foot up, she doesn’t call, she doesn’t email and when I call her she doesn’t have time to talk. Now is when I need the distraction and don’t want to go back to a big mess. Grumble, mutter, fume.
My head minion (a clerk I share with another department) is planning a “Thank god we don’t have to work with SG anymore” party after the retirement party. This is of course hush-hush, but plans have been made to invite the poor HR person who had to sit next to SG. HM’s parties always include generous amounts of fermented libations and everyone there will want to know what SG finally did to cross the line.
The poor, suffering HR lady will throw her inhibitations to the winds when she realizes that she is with kindred spirits. Or maybe just the spirits will do it, but she will talk. I promise to report back!
HM’s email also mentioned that there was another fire at the storage area. This is really upsetting me. So far, there have been 3 fires but they all have been in seperate buildings than the Files of Doom. Get it right, people!!!
Sorry.
Jeez, flatlined. The poor schmucks are already homeless. You really want to wish the Rat King on them?
I cannot *wait *to hear what the HR lady has to say.
In other news, I’m not sure I’m liking this Agile process. It’s murky. I can’t depend on the specs because the designers, apparently, don’t update them. I’m not sure if it’s “don’t update them at all” or “don’t update them for a few days when some meeting (scrum?) causes a change to be made”. A few days ago I asked about the effect of some security rights and was sorta slapped down for it. I was also told that the QA people had Webex recordings showing that the rights were implemented correctly.
Now, to me, that means that they also used the *correct *rights in the test, am I right?
Well maybe they did, but in at least two cases, the names of the rights have changed since the testing, and in one of those cases they only tested one right but the information I got from one of the developers is that there are supposed to be two rights involved, and neither is the one that was tested.
I am fucking *never *going to get a grip on this, I just know it. I can’t even get through what should have been the simple addition of a line or two of text to 50 or 60 help topics. And the fact that as a contractor, I was forced to take an unpaid, two-week furlough means I’m just that much further behind than I might have been otherwise.
There’s at least one writer who’s been on this project for over a year, and he has a good grip on things, and he’s more than willing to help. Unfortunately, he’s based in Pune, India, which makes conversations difficult.
Rumour has it that this project has eaten a number of the company higher ups. Quite a few of the other writers on the project, also new to it and to Agile, have been expressing similar frustrations. I know, I know, that the problem is the project, not me, but that’s not helping much right now.
And to boot, I wanted to get Friendly’s Butter Crunch ice cream on my way home Friday, because damnit, I deserved it, and the grocery store was out so I got a different ice cream, and somehow it didn’t make it home with me. No idea what happened. Did I leave it at the check out? Did I leave it in the cart? I want my ice cream!
Morgyn, I have lots of sympathy but no advice. Back when we migrated from IRM to TRIM, we lost so much data. Now the IT people are telling my boss that we need to migrate to OnBase. More data will be lost. There is nothing I can do to stop the train…I just need to hunker down and hope that there won’t be much fall
I don’t have any ice cream to share with you, but I do have some good wishes. Offers up kitten purrs and white chocolate.
The evil part of me says DOOOOO IT, but that wouldn’t be fair to flatlined. I don’t want her going into cardiac arrest :eek: