Oh, I’d start out harmlessly, with a thread titled “Any fellow plastic fork collectors out there?” in Cafe Society, then an “Ol’ ‘n’ Po” discussion in MPSIMS …
Oh boy, I might have goofed at work. Big boss now knows that I am capable of typing at a high rate of speed. He gave me some notes to transcribe, and when I was done he made a comment on how fast it got done. He then goes on to show me the piles of binders full of notes that need typed up. I suggested scanning then saving them, but he wants them typed. Have I mentioned he’s a tad on the old-fashioned side?
He did bring me a milkshake before he asked me to start typing…
I have a magnet on my fridge that says, “The better you do, the more they’ll expect.” Do you need one of those too? 
^^ That’s always been my philosophy.
The phrase at my office: “Great job! You just earned more work!”
Heh, I have a very, very capable and talented coworker who personifies this philosophy. Doesn’t care about reputation, doesn’t care about anything. It’s horrifying and amazing at the same time.
Two things:
Hopefully you think you’re worth more than a milkshake, employment- and other-wise.
Time to indulge in some creative incompetence.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle
Yes, I think I do need one of those! It was a very good milkshake… And they are paying me well to type…
Anyways, I think I’m starting to figure out what is wrong at the new job. There are a couple of part-time employees who are rarely in the office, and they’re the only ones who know how to do some critical tasks. They’re the only ones who know sales information and how to post automatic payments to customer accounts. Supposedly I’m gonna be trained on these things someday, but the people who know how to do them have to be in the office first. It’s a royal pain in the ass to have to tell people “Sorry, don’t know, gonna have to wait until so-and-so gets back so I can check with them!” It understandibly makes the customers mad, and dealing with pissed-off customers makes for some grumpy employees.
Reminds me. Any explosions yet from the old place? Cries of panic? Customers fleeing in umbrage? Or is it too early yet?
You can be honest with us, Dr. G… even though some of us are counting on a meltdown.
And will be heartbroken if there’s no change at the old place…
In contrast to the above, I always strive to be such a Good Little Worker Bee.
But I have a deficit in social skills. I am off-putting. Hence I can only go so far. People who care half as much and try one-quarter as hard will always do better than I.
You know, I haven’t heard anything yet. But I haven’t talked to any of my former co-workers since I left either. I need to go over there and get some cash out sooner or later, maybe I’ll hear something then! No explosions that I can see from across the street.
I did run into a ex-customer who wondered where I went. She did say she didn’t blame me for wanting to leave, but I didn’t get a chance to ask what she meant. She works at a store I frequent, next time I’ll see if I can get some info.
Fake it. Honestly…fake it until you feel it. Be shy, so that you don’t talk until you’ve had the time to think about what you are going to say. After a year or so, you will stop twitching when the phone goes to voice mail while you are admiring pictures of your Boss’s grandkids. Bonus points will happen if you remember that your boss bought that cute little hat and squee over it.
You are evil. That is such a teaser…and I know that there are a lot of people who haven’t posted who are waiting for the happy fallout stories.
My anti rant. Its been so nice to not have to deal with SG.
My adorable minion is 3 inches taller, so she can reach the top shelf without getting the big, heavy, hard to move ladder out. That thing is such a pain to move that I use one of the short ladders and reach as high as I can, hook my fingernails under the cardboard and pull the 30 lb box out until it shifts down enough to catch it with my hands.
I learned to do this because when I’d go get SG who is 10 inches taller than me, he would always get the big ladder. I used to time him, it took as long 30 minutes to “shut everything properly” and move the ladder, then climb the ladder and sometimes bump into the lights (I dodged falling floresent bulbs a couple of times), pull the file and then put the ladder back.
My delightful minion is a farm girl, strong and sturdy, and tall enough that she can have 2 hands on the box when she pulls it off the shelf.
I’m a happy camper
{sigh of relief}
A little corner of my brain was afraid I’d open this thread someday to read “I miss SG!” (or maybe “SG and Tony and three dozen cats have moved in with me”).
And, yes, without SG news (hey, any way you can keep track of where he ends up, and spy on him for our sakes), we ARE going to need “Dr. G’s Previous Workplace Implodes” stories.
Objectives… I have to come up with objectives for this year. I’ve never done that (probably because I was hourly and my objective was keep my boss happy, not be so bored I do something stupid and not look so bored).
Objectives this year. To not bitchslap stupid vendors and people in other areas that are not helping. To not fuck up and at least appear competent. To not hurt people who come to me for help when they know perfectly well what to do.
I dunno…
I have an involved rant regarding a vendor but I’m still working on how to put it without putting too much out there. It boils down to, he’s ignoring me because I was right and he was wrong and I made his company look dumb by asking if they wanted to be paid correctly or not. I don’t mind so much, he’s skeevy and now that he ignores me he won’t flirt with me.
This is minor, but it’s been annoying me.
There is a binder clip full of little rubber bands in the top left desk drawer. There is a giant bag of little rubber bands in the middle cabinet over the back computers. Why, then, does some unnamed idiot think she has to tie broken rubber bands back together and reuse them? Just get a new one. It’ll take less time than tying the broken band back together.
Some misplaced sense of environmentalism, perhaps?
I’m very sorry, I really don’t mean to tease! I’m as disappointed as you all are for not hearing any explosions. One of these days I will get over there and find out what all is going on!
Have you ever done something and later thought “I kinda wish I hadn’t unleashed that on the world?”
Where I work, we have a meeting every friday at 11am where they give out pay stubs and talk shop for 10 minutes. About 8 years ago it was about 10:50 on a new employee’s first day when I told him “oh, did you know about the 11 o’clock meetings?” He didn’t so I filled him in then off the top of my head added “New employees usually give a 10 minute speech about where they’re from, what their goals are in life etc. See ya there!” I let him worry for a moment then told him I was joking.
I made the fatal mistake of telling the boss about how I had the new guy worried and ever since, he plays the same joke on new people. During the meeting he introduces them and says “normally new employees give a speech so I’ll give you the floor now if you’re ready.” Everyone starts laughing so the new people always know it’s a joke.
They do this with Every. Single. Employee.
Now, when there is a new employee, I actually dread the meetings because of that stupid joke. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was funny the first time, and other people enjoyed it through the next 300 tellings too, but it’s starting to lose a little pizzazz as we approach the end of its first decade.
I’m sorry.
I wish HR wouldn’t forward emails to everyone under the aegis of health and safety when it’s something you can easily confirm as false and even potentially harmful.
This morning we got an email titled “Health and Safety: Egg White-for burns” and saying “FYI!!! Supposed to be in the early stages of firefighting so keep in mind.” (yes she used four exclamation marks). It was word for word the same email that Snopes debunks and warns that it could be potentially fatal to do.
They took first aid, don’t you think if it was such a miracle thing it would have been mentioned? Sheesh!