I was in a supermarket in Nadi, Fiji about five years ago, and I noticed they were the using the same till software program that the bookshop I was working at used. And some dark, shameful part of me saw that familiar grey screen and went ‘oh, look - home!’. And I died a little inside.
Every time someone admits they’re dead and hollow inside, a corporate executive gets his wings.
manx - 
Oh, god, that needs to be my screen saver.
Programmers… we can run .jar files just by double-clicking them in Windows. We don’t need to open DOS shells. Pinky promise.
Sales reps… it’s nice that you think this list of terms is relevant to the product and that customers need them, but half of them don’t show up one single time when I google them, which suggests to me that they aren’t really common, essential, meaningful terms. If you really think they are, please provide me with definitions and sample sentences. Kthxbai.
“Team”… funny how every single time I ping one of you, you’re fixing an emergency flat tire or picking someone up from the airport or at lunch. Funny how none of you are ever, ever, ever at your computer.
I didn’t know what the ticket was for until she came back with it after filling it out. It has multiple uses, and since what she wanted was not valid, I gave her the correct ticket, then she got snippy. It’s worse when you consider we just went through training on proper tickets less than two weeks ago.
Oh, yes, the “remote office”, that shining promise of the '90’s. My previous manager finally put spyware on tech support’s computers for this very reason, and told them beforehand. It didn’t keep them from playing Doom 8 hours a day, though, or downloading porn to company computers. She finally fired the lot of them, and I can’t say I blame her.
I want to bash those people on the head with a clue stick. Every single time someone fails miserably at working from home it screws things up for those of us who can/will do well at it. Fuck them all 
My coworker who will tell anyone who slows down how smart she is, how well read she is etc etc. We had to write on our boxes of shipping files a destroy date. She wrote on numerous boxes the disgard date. These are on a pallet in from of my window. Makes me laugh. Even funnier is the big boss will be coming to take pictures that will go to our corporate office as evidence of compliance for the auditors to show we properly mark our retained files.
I am a bad evil person to revel in someone’s shortcomings.
A-fucking-men.
What I can’t stand—and I am a parent myself, so don’t think for a second that I am bashing parents in general—are those who think that work from home can be done while they are the adult responsible for childcare in their homes during their work hours. In other words, “I’ll save on babysitting and work while I’m home with the kids!” Unless you’re working the overnight shift while your kid is completely asleep, that’s not going to cut it.
I’ve got a couple of 6th grade trombonists I’ll rent out.
Workplace gripe: I hate Christmas at work. I hate not being invited to any of the office parties. I hate the fact that I’m in here trying to do my work, and the weirdos outside my office are yelling and screaming about how someone stole a Dirty Santa gift. Then one of them storms in here looking for it. I can’t concentrate on my work with all the yelling, screaming and squealing going on outside my door.
Really? They weren’t smart enough to keep a personal computer separate from their work computer to fuck around with at home? Deserved to be fired.
Wait, how is that even possible? I thought the whole point of the stupid things is that you *have *to invite everybody from Office X or Unit Y.
Just back from our second Appreciation Lunch of the year - this one under the guise of a Holiday Lunch. I feel soooooooo o o o o o appreciated. Especially once I lowball guestimated what they spend on us per head, and realized what a difference just having that in cash would have made for me. Instead I have indigestion and am hours behind on work. Yay!
I might as well just go throw up now - save me an hour or so of a very miserable tummy.
I forgot: they gave everyone a $10 gift certificate to the fanch-schmancy place we ate at, good only for dinner food. So I can’t use it for lunch - when I *might *be able to afford it - nor can I use it at the bar - to drown today’s memories - so essentially I was given a ten-dollar piece of trash. Thanks for reminding me that I’m so poor I can’t afford to use your gift!
Bonus points if you throw up on your boss. Quad-bonus if you can get it on the person who hosted the lunch.
I have often said that whatever the company is going to give me would be better srerved by handing me the cash. $5 little trinket? Hand me $5, please.
Not that it matters to me anymore, but it used to drive me crazy when employers would only consider allowing parents to work from home. I had one tell me that I didn’t need to work from home because I didn’t have any children - huh?
Ah. That’s slightly better.
Moon, curl are we still bashing people with clue sticks? I’d like very much to join in, please. I’m still a little queasy - maybe I can barf on those dispshits instead?
- wanders off to go look for a mint *
Easy: I work QA in a call center. I don’t fraternize because I have to appear fair: I can’t be seen as being biased towards any person or any group. Therefore, no invites. They tend to forget I exist a lot of the time, to the point where I don’t receive important communication. For example, I was listening to calls for one girl for a week after she left the company. Nobody bothered to tell me she was gone. Boy, did I raise cain.
Last summer I finally learned why some people bounce from temp job to temp job, going off and on EI and welfare. Why they’re unable to find real work, and why they keep getting laid off. It’s so terrible what kind of economy this is, where good people can’t find jobs!
Well, except it’s because they’re not willing to actually work. These people would actually intentionally slow the process out of some misguided spite towards the only entity willing to put food on their tables and a roof over their heads. If you’re a (good) manager, who are you going to keep if you’re told to cut someone? The guy who works, or the guy who doesn’t?
Well, I’d been promoted to supervisor of all these temps. I’d tried to work with them, but it was like talking to drywall. You see, one of them had been working there since February. I’d only been there since June. “How come baffle got promoted first?” this woman wondered.
So she started talking to her friends. She convinced one girl that she’d be a far better supervisor, because she’d give them long breaks and let them slack off. So they started their game of sabotage, intentionally slowing production. Of the five of us, there was me (doing the work of about four people), two girls who wanted to work, and two who didn’t. It eventually got so frustrating for the girls who did want to work, that I spoke to the management. (Technically overstepping my bounds, as I was supposed to take any issues to the temp agency.) That same night, one of the girls went to the manager and reported that I had been “harassing” her. You see, I told her to go back to work, and – get this – when she refused, I looked “angry.”
The company got hit with all of this at once and decided they didn’t really need any more temps. (It’s seasonal work, and very slow in winter.) So we were all out of a job.
I got an email last week. The company wants me back. Not as a temp, but on an eight-month contract, January to September. 33% raise, weekend bonuses, plus a $1500 contract completion bonus at the end. It’s more than a 50% (!!!) raise from my starting wage last year, if bonuses are included.
I got this offer. So did one of the girls from last year, one of the ones who was willing to work hard. (She also happens to be my wife.) Everyone else either got to go back as temps, or got nothing at all.
The contracts are signed and returned. We start January 4th. And yes, if you show yourself to be a hard worker, a good company will notice, and you will get rewarded.
TL;DR: We’re great, co-workers suck, company noticed, big raises.
Pin it up on your cube wall with a little note that says “free to good home”.
I would say get all your coworkers together, go to the restaurant and carefully divide one dinner, *a la *the Waltons. But that would be punishing some poor waitress, rather than your inconsiderate overlords.