Workplace griping, anyone?

[kaylasdad99]

@rockle

I am convinced more and more every day that this place is run by escapees from the world’s least effective mental institution.

In the wake of Seditious-Raptor-Sign-Gate, we got an email from HR stating that “in an effort to improve morale and stay on-message internally, all cubicle decorations must be approved by Management.”

The fuck?

I still haven’t gotten any kind of explanation as to how a humorous sign was “secretly fomenting sedition,” and now somebody wants to try to tell me that pictures of my kid and a picture of the Tenth Doctor are bad for morale?

Okay, here’s what you do:

Type out the company’s Mission Statement, in a very professional-looking style.

Put a nice, artistic-looking border around the Mission statement. The border should be formatted in difficult-to-make-out font (such as Monotype Corsiva) at a font size of about 8, bolded perhaps to make it a little harder to read.

The text of the border, for anyone who wishes to review it prior to approving it for posting, should be a reiteration of the Mission Statement.

But for the one that you actually print out and post, it should simply repeat over and over: FomentingSeditionSinceJuly27FomentingSeditionSinceJuly27

[Chimera]

Got Word or Outlook? Check out Blackadder JTC as a font. No one will be able to read that in 8 point.

FomentingSeditionSinceJuly27

ok, maybe if they look really close

[kaylasdad99]

And if they can, just move it down to 6.

[Carol_the_Impaler]

So, when I left my job in March, I gave my number and email to my replacement in case she needed to get ahold of me. Now, most people understand that this is a courtesy to be used sparingly if at all, and only as a last resort.

For months I’ve been getting questions like, “How do I figure first class postage?”

For each question of the dozen I have gotten I tried to be patient and to school her on who could answer her question the next time. But I cannot possibly teach her how to be resourceful or think through a problem. And besides, I have my own job to do! Figure it out!

Several weeks ago I finally asked her to handle things on her own and to only contact me as a last resort.

So, yesterday I get another stupid question that could have been answered if she’d bothered to look in the files followed by an even stupider one! That’s it, down comes the ban hammer.

"Replacement,

You’ll have to work with Bad Boss on this. This is not an emergency and is solvable on your end. It is no longer appropriate to ask me for help in these cases as I no longer work there. Thank you for your consideration."

Jesus.

Her head would explode at my current job. Number of times I’ve emailed my predecessor? NONE!

[Cinnamon_Imp]

Do you have Bad Boss’s email address still? I’d start cc’ing your responses to them, if I were you…

[Chimera]

I would just block the sender address at this point, or put in a rule that throws it directly in the trash.

Or better yet, create a rule that automatically forwards it to old boss, then deletes your copy.

[Carol_the_Impaler]

@ Cinnamon Imp: Yep, sure do. I cc:d him on my response above. When I asked her to use me as a last resort, I emailed him and let him know what kind of questions that I was getting. I wanted to give him a head’s up that she was afraid to ask him for the answer and afraid to ask other people in the organization, as well (and trying to send the message that she was using me as a resource inappropriately). He said he’d talk to her. He obviously didn’t. (He doesn’t care and actually probably likes that she’s pissing me off. Plus he routinely lied and said he’d do things when I was there and then not do them and then lie about why or lie and say he forgot. That’s why he’s “Bad Boss”.)

@ Chimera: Yeah, I’m not responding anymore. She’d have to be an even bigger raging idiot than I thought to email me again after my response.

And what’s of note is that when I spent my last two days there training her, she gave me a lot of attitude and would interrupt me to tell me that she already knew how to do what I was trying to teach her. Hoooookay, then!

[rockle]

@SCSimmons

The Tenth Doctor? No wonder they’re complaining!

He’s my kid’s favorite. I think she recognizes him from his work in one of the Harry Potter movies.

[rockle]

@kaylasdad99

Okay, here’s what you do:

Type out the company’s Mission Statement, in a very professional-looking style.

Put a nice, artistic-looking border around the Mission statement. The border should be formatted in difficult-to-make-out font (such as Monotype Corsiva) at a font size of about 8, bolded perhaps to make it a little harder to read.

The text of the border, for anyone who wishes to review it prior to approving it for posting, should be a reiteration of the Mission Statement.

But for the one that you actually print out and post, it should simply repeat over and over: FomentingSeditionSinceJuly27FomentingSeditionSinceJuly27

@Chimera

Got Word or Outlook? Check out Blackadder JTC as a font. No one will be able to read that in 8 point.

FomentingSeditionSinceJuly27

ok, maybe if they look really close

You guys are bloody brilliant and if I weren’t already married I’d offer to espouse you at once.

[purplehorseshoe]

purplehorseshoe sends an email:

“Would you prefer A or B?”

response: “Yes please!”

*** headdesk ***

[Chimera]

I knocked it down to 6 point, but it won’t let me post that here. Yeah, NO ONE is going to be able to read that. 4 point was even more ridiculous.

PHS, I tend to get snarky with those.

“A choice is required here. ‘Yes’ is not a choice. Please respond with a proper choice or (one will be made for you/we will assume you don’t want either one/We will point and laugh at you). Thank you.”

[Spiny_Norman]

@Greg_Charles

At my old company, we put up a sign that said, “Layoff free for N days,” and regularly updated the N. Of course, we went five through rounds of layoffs that year and we were fomenting sedition.

I wanted to put one up saying “N days since the last engineer left” last time I was feeling seditious, but I had a feeling it would lead to me being part of the statistics. (Seriously, we could have installed a revolving door.)

Now the bourgoisie has bribed me into doing the dirty work for them, and I can no longer be openly seditious even if I wanted to.

[Bookkeeper]

@rockle

Someone took down a sign that I had pinned to the outside of my cubicle, claiming that I was “secretly fomenting sedition.” I take issue with this for two reasons:

(1) No, I was not. I’m pretty overt about my displeasure around here. Sometimes you can’t get me to shut up about it, even.
(2) The sign said, “This workspace proudly velociraptor-free since 2003.”

Unless a particularly prickly velociraptor has taken over as CEO of the company, there is NO WAY that anybody could take that as anything other than a joke. “Secretly fomenting sedition” … sweet cracker sandwiches, they’ve all gone around the bend.

I posted a copy of this poster on the bulletin board at work last week. No response noted yet. (Although our director would probably laugh and ask where I got it.)

[MissTake]

Please explain to this computer dweeb:

I work wirelessly at home. I am approximately 7’ away from the modem. I start the computer, flip on wireless, can cruise on the interwebs no problem.

Until I connect to NetMotion. I may get an hour of decent speeds (117Mbps - 130Mbps), then it goes south. I get booted from NetMotion at 65Mbps.

Call IT. It’s your internet. How can that be? TheKid friggin streams movies on her computer from the other end of the house, no issues. I’m just fine… until NetMotion.

Not our problem, it’s your internet. Okay. Hardwire the fucker. Open NetMotion, the system slows down. I use a VOIP phone system - even that is spotty when hardwired and NetMotion is active. WTF?

I seriously doubt it’s my internet. I cannot convince IT otherwise. sigh

So here I am. At the kitchen table, in an uncomfortable chair, back aching, because IT says it’s all my fault. Fuckers.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Flutterby

And the meeting ended early because I brought up the fact that they seem to be forgetting GST/HST and would create a million times more work for myself.

So now I have to send them all the data they completely forgot because they didn’t bother consulting accounting here. Yay!

Oh my God. Because, you know, GST/HST is brand freaking new, doesn’t apply to everything, and there’s no reason why they should have thought of it. :rolleyes:

@Carol_the_Impaler

@ Cinnamon Imp: Yep, sure do. I cc:d him on my response above. When I asked her to use me as a last resort, I emailed him and let him know what kind of questions that I was getting. I wanted to give him a head’s up that she was afraid to ask him for the answer and afraid to ask other people in the organization, as well (and trying to send the message that she was using me as a resource inappropriately). He said he’d talk to her. He obviously didn’t. (He doesn’t care and actually probably likes that she’s pissing me off. Plus he routinely lied and said he’d do things when I was there and then not do them and then lie about why or lie and say he forgot. That’s why he’s “Bad Boss”.)

@ Chimera: Yeah, I’m not responding anymore. She’d have to be an even bigger raging idiot than I thought to email me again after my response.

And what’s of note is that when I spent my last two days there training her, she gave me a lot of attitude and would interrupt me to tell me that she already knew how to do what I was trying to teach her. Hoooookay, then!

That’s crazy - you have about a million times more patience for this bullshit than I would have.

[Moonlitherial]

@MissTake

So here I am. At the kitchen table, in an uncomfortable chair, back aching, because IT says it’s all my fault. Fuckers.

I can’t convince IT for you but I can save your back. 75’ patch cable is $10 at newegg. That will allow you to run it over doorways if necessary to eliminate any tripping hazard. (7’ is $2 if a direct run will work)

[Yllaria]

@Bookkeeper

I posted a copy of this poster* on the bulletin board at work last week. No response noted yet. (Although our director would probably laugh and ask where I got it.)

• “This workspace proudly velociraptor-free since 2003.”
  We could do an experiment. We all post a copy and report what the response is. Then we make a bar graph. Cool.

[the_Lady]

But then I’d have to move my “When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me” and “The pterodactyls are vermin. Do not feed them” signs.

[rockle]

@Yllaria

• “This workspace proudly velociraptor-free since 2003.”
  We could do an experiment. We all post a copy and report what the response is. Then we make a bar graph. Cool.

I put the sign back up, only in a slightly different location. I checked with my manager and she has no problem with the sign, and she has no idea what that other person was talking about, so I’m just going to go ahead and have my one little piece of morale, m’kay?

(Incidentally: I does not surprise me in the least that my manager does not know what “secretly fomenting sedition” means. I don’t think there’s one word in that phrase that she recognizes. She is one of those people who sends giant wall-of-text emails that contain no verbs in Comic Sans font.)

@the_Lady

But then I’d have to move my “When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me” and “The pterodactyls are vermin. Do not feed them” signs.

LOVE the pterodactyl sign. I may make one of those, too. Although I wonder if pteros are more treasonous than they are seditious.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@rockle

I put the sign back up, only in a slightly different location. I checked with my manager and she has no problem with the sign, and she has no idea what that other person was talking about, so I’m just going to go ahead and have my one little piece of morale, m’kay?<snip>

Is it morale, or is it…FLAIR???!!!???