The consulting company I’m working with right now is going through one of those. In the words of our boss, “they’ve brought the kind of dudes who try to fire the receptionist because her hours aren’t billable.”
I need to take a moment to thank you for a priceless mental image. 
I really like this process. Some people are weasels and it’s amusing.
I tell someone he’s logging in and connecting via the obsolete method.
He claims it isn’t him.
I point at the logs I pasted into the previous email showing that he is indeed signing into server X and doing this at N time using Y tool.
Still claims it isn’t him, must be someone else.
His manager tells him to change his password immediately.
Next day, I send another email. M number of logons from your ID on server X at N time.
Still claims it isn’t him.
Look you stupid fool. It says your id is logging onto this server, and running a process using your ID to access another server. IF you changed your password like your boss told you to, then there’s no fucking way that someone else is doing this. Man up and fix the fucking issue! I honestly do not give a shit if you’re doing this or if your mother is doing it for you. My job is to inform everyone whose ID is doing this to do what they need to do before it all of a sudden doesn’t work anymore. I am 100% A-OK with your shit failing miserably, and if you come screaming to our management about it, you better goddamn believe I have all these emails in a folder.
These stories make me all the more grateful that I was able to retire last year at a shockingly early age.
I work as a temp, I had a very nice 4-month assignment that I really enjoyed but had to leave due to an HR screw-up (why is that no surprise?). Anyway, they moved one of the permie staff into the job but she has no experience and has no idea what to do.
Since she and I are kind of friends, she keeps messaging me to ask for help. I told her a few things (mainly stuff I had in my Outlook calendar that she would need to pick up) but since then it’s been something else every day, accelerating to requests that I go up to her office in my lunchbreak to show her how to do stuff.
Some things I don’t mind doing, and I would hate to leave someone struggling in a job they found difficult, but this is getting beyond a joke. She’s got two other admins in the office (one is only part-time though) and should be requesting training etc from the line manager but she prefers to ask me instead.
It’s not like I don’t have my own job to do…
Charge a consultation fee?
Tell her you’re cutting off your services, and then block her number/IM name/etc?
Rat her out to her line manager and let him/her know that she doesn’t have the proper training?
That’s not a friend, that’s a user. I’d send her a bill for the time you’ve spent teaching her her job already, at your previous rate.
Stop doing free work for others. It is no longer your job, it’s hers.
Some people get all the nice things! 
Our program won’t show any navigation buttons until the voice has finished reading the slide.
Please oh please oh please. If the web person is in-house, ask them to add a ‘continue’ button. 
Not a gripe, just an update. New job is OK, fairly dull to this point because they haven’t taught me much yet. But it’s not bad, they give me a pile of forms to check then leave me alone. No one’s yelling at me, no one’s breathing down my neck. I’m allowed to bring my mp3 player and headphones, there’s all the free coffee I can drink in the breakroom.
Co-workers are decent, but I’m feeling Rachellelogram’s pain because I have a Loud Howard too. (Good luck on the interview, BTW!) He’s not in the next cube but he might as well be. There isn’t a place on the floor you can go and not hear him. No wonder we’re allowed to bring headphones.
I’m now officially in love with you
SurrenderDorothy and Dr. G, I’m glad things are looking up for both of you.
Not really a rant, but a worry. My minion is constantly getting nosebleeds. Its not that dusty in the storage area, and I really don’t think he’s snorting anything.
I’m kinda worried about him, but I don’t want to ask because he’s so private AND because I’m not sure that I can legally ask him about his health.
Bill says that all I can ask is a generic “Are you OK?” question when I see him with a bloody tissue and that if he says he is, I have to drop the subject unless it becomes a job performance issue.
I found the email today to prove that I sent my boss the mailing list for his review on 12/21. Today, he looks at it. And wants a TON of research into it, the kind of research that will take weeks. AND he wants to do the mailing next week. Great, asshole. I have no idea how many we’ll be mailing, so I can’t get a realistic quote. I told you weeks ago that I needed a full day of pre-press. And NOW you want me to cram a couple of weeks research into a couple of days, because you didn’t look at it FOR 4 FUCKING MONTHS??
Brilliant!
Severe allergies (if the pollen down there is anything like the pollen up here…)?
Low humidity? That’ll give me a nosebleed. I have to keep using nasal spray so things don’t dry out too much in the winter.
My co-worker got constant nosebleeds in our last building from the low humidity.
Lots of pollen in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, so I’d guess that there’s plenty of pollen in Houston, too. On the other hand, we do have bluebonnets. Low humidity can be a cause as well.
If I have to take a lot of NSAIDs, I’ll get lots of nosebleeds. I’ll also bruise so easily that a harsh glance will give me huge bruises.
- glances *gently *at Lynn Bodoni, just to see what would happen *
My Shoe gets a lot of nosebleeds, too. A dr. told him years ago that his nasal capillaries are just a bit closer to the skin than most folks. A humidifier running in the house in the wintertime seemed to help a bit.
Damn, where’d that new bruise come from?
Carefully does not look anywhere near Lynn.
I was all set to deny that low humidity was the problem, because the humidity here is about 290% or something on a dry day, but then I remembered that I spend more time outside than most people do. (My skin loves the humidity, I can’t remember a time when my complexion was better.)
However, the life style here seems to be “stay in a climate controlled home until its time to get into an air conditioned truck to drive to a climate controlled office, etc.”
I guess I’ll just start enforcing my rule about taking regular breaks and will suggest that he goes out in the sun so he doesn’t get rickets. Rickets are a big danger for mushrooms like us. nods head, yeah, that’s the ticket