Application team’s SQL is beginning to fail, largely because the datasets are too large and the SQL is too poorly written (running into environment limits that automatically terminate bad code that runs too long).
Now they’re threatening to escalate to the highest levels of management because this has to stop and it just keeps getting worse and worse.
So which do you think is more likely to happen here? Company wide environment limits that keep the production environment stable get removed, or dummy gets bitchslapped for his bad code? (Hint: Company is not stupid. Nothing is getting changed at the server level.)
Amazingly, they haven’t pulled the interface yet. We were told to contact every single person who was still using the old method and go ‘Oogie Boogie! Gunna FAIL!’ at their faces until enough people and applications got switched over to where they felt comfortable pulling the plug and letting the stragglers burn.
So now I just run a daily query and email the people still doing it. One person has claimed three times to have fixed everything that could possibly do it. I had to email him again this morning.
I tell them - you’re doing it at this time, from this box, using this ID. Some of them claim ignorance and want me to provide the SQL being run. Technically speaking, I have a way to retrieve that, but it’s too damned much work, so ‘Nope, it’s your process, you figure it out’. I’m providing date, time and source machine/server. Isn’t that enough to figure it out??? The fun is when it’s someone else signing in with their ID doing it. Two people busted for that so far, and a couple where an application process has been using their personal ID. (Wait, what? You run production code using your personal ID and password, and have it coded into a procedure anyone on that box can go look at? Are you stupid?)
our inventory is in September when we still have 100degree weather and an unariconditioned warehouse. They just announced that no vacation time for the entire month of September will be approved. lastly the employees have to count the product including me who knows nothing about the product. 12 hour days for 4 days starting 5 hours earlier than my normal shift AND I will be expected to work overtime the first 3 days of the week in order to ship a weeks worth of orders in 3 days. At what they wll pay me in overtime for this they can bring 4 minimum wage people who will know as much about the product as I do.
Damn it they should not block the entire month becasue of one week of inventory. I already have to work Labor Day weekend (one of the few who are required to work every stinking month end) I should be able to take a vacation day AFTER the inventory for a workshop I have been doing for 20 years.
The last one, ladies and gentlemen, is an example of a rhetorical question: rhetorical comes from the Arameic Rethos, meaning “I will”, Rhea “kick your ass” and Kalia, “you can’t find it with both hands”.
I saw one like that once when a person left the company, their ID was removed and oops… “gee, wonder why the Production automatic jobs aren’t running?” After some research, “what do you mean, they were all being run by the ID of the subcontractor who set them up? Who the fucking shit approved that? It breaks every procedure we have! [listens to the person on the other end] If I have to rewrite the procedure on how to use the coffee machine so it includes a line about ‘not using personal IDs for automated jobs’ I fucking will! Want me to write one on how to use the toilet?”
Back when I worked for the county, there was a forced password change every 45 days. IT didn’t change the Top Secret Backdoor Password (that everyone knew) in the entire 7 years that I worked there.
It didn’t even get changed after the system got hacked and the entire county was down for a week.
Just for fun, I tried it now. I haven’t worked there since November and I got in by using my username and the TSBP. :smack:
I’m no engineer, but it occurs to me that it might be more effective to rewrite the procedure (by which I refer to the coding) on setting up Production automatic jobs so they can’t be run on the ID of a subcontractor.
Nothing to stop you from referencing that fact in the new procedures on how to use the coffee machine and the toilet, of course.
ETA: those are two separate procedures, right? Please tell me I’m right…
Bwahahahah! That’s very, very possible at this point. Though I worked from home today because my car is busted, so it’d be a long walk. Where’s the cartoon mallet that can come through the phone when you need it?
The system has no way to know whether an ID is a shared ID, one used by an internal employee, by a subcontractor, or whatever. Those automatic processes need to be assigned to an ID, but they don’t need the ID’s credentials other than to be set up (later they indicate which ID they belong to when they run, and can’t run on an inactive ID, but they don’t need to have a password or access any other systems).
Oh yes. Absolutely. The one for the coffee machine was already written, there wasn’t one on how to use a toilet - and none was written. Although I think the boss would have been happy to write it, include a line about subcontractors needing a company ID before they could go alone, and bill for the time. You did need a company card to get Nespresso packets for the “good” cofeemaker…
Got a hush-hush e-mail from the A/CEO requesting that I come to his office - with the PS “Don’t worry, you still have a job”. That is not a reassuring statement.
Turns out that along with the move, there is a massive re-org taking place. We are going from 9 directors to 4, policy analysts and admin staff are being re-shuffled into “new, more efficient matrices” to better fulfill our mandate. :smack:
We’ve been through this before. It doesn’t work. This happens every time some newly-minted management consultant comes up with a new idea complete with the latest in buzzwords. It. does. not. work.
That pub better be really close.
ETA: got a look at the new colour scheme. The accent walls are baby-poop yellow. The carpet is baby-poop brown. The chairs and couches are 1970s orange.
Yeah - we did the downsizing part last April. After numerous reassurances from various higher ups that I would not lose my job, I was laid off. I was officially unemployed all of a week before they called me back. You see, what they did was lay off most of the admin staff (you know, the ones who actually know how the place runs). Turns out policy analysts and political advisors don’t know how to run a photocopier, fix a printer, organize a conference call, scan a document, retrieve a file from Central Records or find their bum with both hands and a road map. :rolleyes:
Seen that sort of shit happen. Usually caused by some complete waste of nutrients who classifies everyone as either an Income Center or a Cost Center*.
And then no one above him is smart enough to catch the folly and/or shitcan the Stupid Center.
“We need to eliminate all positions that don’t bring money to the company!” Well sunshine, your income producers cannot do their jobs, nor this company survive, without all those support people.
Isn’t it funny how everyone knows that except people like policy advisors?
I run into that all the time, working in accounting. It’s breathtakingly short-sighted - do you suppose they actually think that the cheques from customers magically end up in the bank accounts, and invoicing and collecting accurate amounts from customers (and paying suppliers) is done by elves at night?
Our web training sessions have a “next” button AND a “forward” button. Because sometimes you want to go forward to the next page and sometimes you want to go next to the forward page. This makes complete sense.
God, let this job interview pay off. I want to be OUT of here, yesterday.
