Workplace griping, anyone?

You reminded me of a prank I played on some classmates. Once upon a time I could type Dvorak, I taught myself when I was in high school. (Yeah, I’m a nerd…)

Anyways, my keyboarding class had computers that had a switch on the keyboard that would convert them from QWERTY to Dvorak. One day I got to class before everyone else and switched the keyboards to Dvorak. Everyone started trying to type their assignments and freaked out when what was coming up on the screen didn’t match what they were typing.

Except me, of course. I sat there all innocent and said “Mine’s fine!” :smiley: Teacher figured out what had happened, but no one thought I had anything to do with it. You never suspect the quiet one. Muahahahaha.

This discussion has probably raised my blood pressure by 20 points.

Back when I worked for the County, my main goal was to stop the needless killing of trees. One of the projects was to scan the paper files to an easy to use online format, burn them to CD and then microfilm them, then destroy the paper.

The county paid big bucks to upgrade the 100 year old courthouse so the legal folks could use their laptops and access the info. OnBase has word recognition, so its easy to find just the document they want.

Sounds great, right?

No, they would rather have a legal clerk print the entire file so they can page through it and make notes then send the file to storage to be scanned and filmed again.

These are not people who can’t understand how a computer works, they have smartphones and tablets and are totally connected.

Its the mindset “this is how we always do it” that is killing trees and filling landfills.

Gasps and pants for breath after that rant.

teela, I don’t know if you want to open this can of worms…but if you search for the retention schedules for your state, you might be able to show TPTB that a lot of what you are doing is needless and maybe against the law.

If your lawyers are keeping civil files from 20 years ago, that’s a really bad thing. They were supposed to be purged 10 years ago unless they have historical value.

As an example, in Arizona one of the sheriffs chose to keep traffic tickets past their retention and a civil rights group wanted to make a case about racially profiling people. When they demanded all of the tickets that had been stored, they got almost 50 years worth. While I’m not defending racial profiling, things were different 50 years ago.

Doesn’t matter, the civil rights group won their case because they had access to that much data and won a lot of money over something that happened so long ago that most people involved were dead.

Exchange today between myself and a co-worker (in training, still, after almost a year):

Me (after overhearing and semi-coaching him through a call): Did you remember to tell Client about step Y (without which step X (topic of call) is moot)?

Co-Worker: No.

Me: Then it doesn’t matter if she does X, it won’t show up correctly.

Co-Worker: Well, she didn’t ask me about Y. I told her what she asked me.

:rolleyes:

Did he call her back? No. Have I called her back? No, not yet. Did he even realize he was saying this in front of our manager? No, apparently not. I am really, really torn between letting this come back to bite him, and being proactive and calling the client.

I did ask the manager if it would reflect badly on me should I smack Co-Worker around a bit. He said yes, but he did understand the desire.

Damn half-assed work.

Me, to coworker: "Hey, are you in on this conference call?

(Note: I’m playing dumb, and reminding him as nicely as I can. I know damnperfectlywell that he’s supposed to be on this call.)

Him: “Oh, yeah. I saw the reminder pop up, and I rejected it.”
:smack:

What people who aren’t knowledgeable about records retention don’t know is that every copy you make of a record now has to be stored and monitored, and more is not better when it comes to keeping records. As I’m sure you know, you get into serious legal trouble by destroying records before their time is up, but as your example demonstrates, just keeping them forever is not the solution, either.

As Roy from “The IT Crowd” said, “People - what a bunch of bastards.”

:smiley:

By the way, watch that show if you have a chance - it’s freaking brilliant! Richard Ayoade may be the funniest man alive right now.

Bursts into happy tears and gives you a big ol’ sloppy biker hug, including slaps on the back.

SOMEONE GETS IT!!! More is NOT better!!!

(BTW, you only get into serious trouble for selectively destroying records before their time is up. If you show “good faith document management” and destroy everything with the same schedule, you will probably be good. Its when its a “holy cow, we need to get rid of this stuff right now because we are going to get subpoenaed tomorrow” that you go to jail or pay heavy fines.)

I was really good at nitpicking things before I found the Dope, I’ve gotten even better since.

Hah - “Sorry, Judge, we just happened to destroy the bunch of files that you need for this case. Our bad.” My understanding (and I’m not in records management, I just took a course way back) is that courts REALLY don’t find that amusing, and they made the fines so punitive that you’re better off just leaving the files alone and taking your chances in court. :smiley:

I love that show. I work in tech support, and when I’m doing calls, sometimes I’ll put my phone on mute and say “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” :wink:

I have a meeting in 30 mins and I need to release some hostility before going there.

I’m working with a program manager who is panicing because her dates are going to slip. They’re going to slip because she is incapable of articulating her requirements up front and my team have been working their asses off to respond in highly unreasonable timelines to her last minute discoveries.

She sent an email to my boss this morning requesting this meeting and her timeline of things that have gone wrong oddly makes no mention of this but has excrutiating detail about the arbitrary dates that she set that we did not meet.

I’m working on my factual and yet non hostile tone for the rebuttal with a side of “Hey remember that meeting you keep putting off that I said I need to prepare my team”

One of the things I brought to my new job is experience with being cross-examined in a courtroom and defending my records management. I was involved in a class action lawsuit about once a year, and due to the fact that I could always show that all documents in that class had been destroyed according to the state mandated retention schedule, not just the ones that had been subpoenaed, I walked away with no fines or penalties.

This is now a problem at my new job, but I expected it. People get so nervous about destroying stuff that they think they might need later.

Yes, we do need to keep the maps, plats and land surveys forever, they have historical value. We do NOT need to keep the minutes of meetings that discussed the how-to-do-it longer than 7 years.

Today, I caught Bill’s secretary printing out an email directing her to order food for a meeting so she could file it away in a folder labeled “catering”.

I left my big ol’ jar of dead wasps on her desk and told her to make time to let me show her how to set up folders for that sort of email and that I’d take the jar back after we were done. (I’ve also made a note in outlook to go visit her file cabinet in 6 months.)

Speaking of wasps, my minion reports that they were almost non existent while we were away, but upon my return, they have come back.

I’ll bet that in my last life, I was one of those people who never tossed out a single piece of paper.

You…certainly know how to motivate people.

flatlined, that’s all kinds of awesome. Folders are good, people! Being able to find things again in six months - very good! Other people taking over your job being able to find things - supergood!

Maybe the wasps just like you - ever think of that? :slight_smile:

Suggestion: If you know you are owed money, please keep the agency updated with your address. I shouldn’t have to spend time hunting you down. Seriously.

Gah.

And those who owe said money? Have fun trying to hide from me. I will find you and I will not be happy having to have spent a lot of time searching for you.

Welp, at least you’ve finally identified the species.

Karmic paper wasps. :smiley:

That was one of the fun parts of picking up (money) from Family Court in downtown Minneapolis back when I did the Armored thing. One guy screaming that he wasn’t going to pay his child support and they couldn’t make him - to which the clerk just calmly said they’d pull his drivers license. He momentarily lost his shit, saw me standing there armed (looked at me, looked at my gun), turned around to think, saw Sheriff’s deputies out in the lobby, and then thought better of his display. Dumbest part was that he owed like $106, which he had and paid. Second guy a different occasion screaming and demanding his drivers license back because they had taken it from him for failure to pay. Once again, they calmly explained that he could have it back the minute he ponied up the money he owed. :smiley: Best part was when he turned to leave and they asked if he drove there. :stuck_out_tongue:

I always try to make an impression :slight_smile:

/hijack Dang, its so good to see you back online, Lynn. I was honestly worried about you. Hopes that your health is better and that you will be back all the time now. You are honestly valued and important /hijack

Started to brag about my step by step procedure manuals then got grrr about the wasps liking me stuff. While I’d never wish a RatKing on someone as nice as you…

Yeah, you get a RatKing as well!!!

I’m totally cracking up over this, because I used to see it at the courthouse all the time. Don’t yell at the person behind the bullet proof glass because the guy with the guns are standing behind you.

Not to mention that the guys with guns already know that you are unarmed because you passed through the checkpoint.

Chimera, did you ever have anyone melt down because you didn’t have to empty your pockets and they did? I’d show my badge to people who knew me for years, and get wanded because it was required. Of course my hand truck, boxes of files, keys and random pocket luggage would set the alarms off, and they would just wave me through.

Once in a while, someone behind me would throw a total fit over it. How dare they let me through and wanted to inspect them?!? I’d usually be done with my deliveries before said idiot got past the inspection. We would laugh about it the next day.

Sticky, sticky tea everywhere. :frowning:

The computer survived (it’s a tower, and the ventilation holes face away from where the tea was spilled), but my camera cable and iPod cable took a direct hit. Should I bother trying to use them after I’ve let them dry?

A long-standing issue Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - 2011-05-16 :smiley:

Lessee…

> Using a hand truck to carry $120,000 into a bank. Woman screams “No one should be allowed to carry a gun!” When I turn to look at her, she looks away (looking frightened and intimidated by me, apparently) and runs off. Lady, you’re a dumb fuck. No one would be safe carrying that much money into anywhere without a gun.
> Parked in the handicapped spot in front of the doors at Minneapolis City Hall. Walk in for three different pickups. Guy with a hand truck of boxes labeled ‘Frito Lay’ gets pissy with me, saying “Who told you that you could park there?”. Loving every minute of it then and since (since it’s a fun story), I tap my gun and say “When they let me carry a gun into a court house, they let me park anywhere I want.”
(We only ever got asked to move from that spot ONCE, and that was because they had an ambulance on the way.)
> Went into the Hennepin County Jail downtown, for two stops (every day). New Deputy stops me and says that I can’t carry my gun in the building. I start to explain that we do this every day, she isn’t having it. Suddenly another officer runs up and says “No no, it’s ok. We WANT them to come pick up our money!” First officer objects that we’re not LEOs. Second officer touches my ID card and says “This is their badge. You will consider them badged officers.”
> Had two other deputies at various times want to wand me and have me empty my pockets. One demanded that I wait in line with a dozen other people before being allowed entry. Both times just tapped my gun and said “really?” :dubious: Supervisors quickly appeared to say no, go on through.
> The only time I did have to check my gun there was the time the elevator and immediate area around the entrance to the property room were down and they had to take me through the actual prison area, past prisoners, so I could pick up. (No idea why they didn’t just bring it to me.) Three armed officers escorted me.
> New customer runs up as I walk into her store for the first time and screams “You are NOT allowed to wear that gun in HERE!” I say “This is a requirement of our job and your contract. If we don’t wear them, we don’t pick up. Have a good day” and turn to leave. She changes her mind. :stuck_out_tongue:
> Only place we were never allowed to carry our guns was in the Federal Reserve Bank. We had to place them in our coolers before entry inspection.

Other than those, I don’t immediately recall anyone complaining that we were waved on through anywhere. Most people were generally bright enough to have recognized that we were not ‘customers’.

I’m dying over here. Thank you so much for the funny stories. I’ve never understood why people would argue with uniformed people who openly carry side arms.

Back when I worked at a library, one of the unarmed security guys got into a pissing match with the cops who wanted him to turn the sprinklers on to disperse the people who were setting fires. (long story that, and I’m still not sure why they were trying to burn down the library instead of city hall.)

Of course we had meetings about it and the group mind agreed that it was never a good idea to argue with someone who is carrying a gun.

I think I posted about this here, but I’ll be rude and repeat myself.

I spend my Saturdays at PetStore, trying to find homes for homeless critters. We sit by the door and can see the cash registers. One day, we noticed a very hunky guy who was wearing jungle fatigues, combat boots, a very tight t-shirt and a Desert Eagle in a tactical rig on his right hip.

(if anyone wants a better description, I still remember how his butt looked when he bent over to pet the puppies. his loose pants got tight over his very firm looking butt…)

Anyhow, when he was standing in the check out lane some idiot speed freak pulled a knife on the cashier and told her to give him all of her money.

The look on the good guy’s face was like really? Are you really that stupid?

Then he jammed his gun into the idiot’s back and told him to drop the knife. Knife was dropped, idiot was arrested, hero got taken into the managers office and door was closed and locked.

Of course, those of us outside the locked door were saying things like “GET SOME!!!” When they came out a while later, they both looked very happy.

While I still remember the happy looks on their faces, its the “OMG, are you that stupid?” look on hero’s face that makes me laugh.