Oh, where to start.
Dear Co-Worker,
I realize that you do work given to you by other people in the company that I do not. I also do work that you do not have to do. But the work we’re supposed to share … how is it that I’ve done 97% of it this month (yes, I counted), and consistenly at least 70% of it every month for the last nearly-two years? I realize that you’re a social creature and that you like to talk to people and ask about their kids and make up cutesy nicknames for them. But how about you do that while you’re working instead of stopping absolutely everything to do so? I like you and you’re a nice person, I think of you as a friend. But you’re killing me. Are you aware that the new salespeople are under the impression that all new order entry is supposed to be my job? Because it is not. It is our job. So thanks for that.
Dear Supervisor,
Stop chatting with Co-Worker. You do not help. You also make it nearly impossible to complain about the above problem because you’re her best workfriend and lunch buddy, and I feel that any complaints will not be handled in an unbiased manner. Also, you know we can hear your personal phone calls, right? The ones that go on for like an hour at a time? I don’t care who you talk to, I really don’t, and I know you’re doing work while you’re on the phone with your cousin. But don’t think that nobody notices. You are also I nice person, and I like you as well. You’re the best boss I’ve ever had because you don’t feel the need to micromanage me. In fact, you barely manage me at all, and I love that. You, however, are also killing me.
Dear Sales Guy Next to Me,
Not everything involves you. Stop turning around to hear every conversation that happens in the room.
Dear Sales Director,
You’ve been here two years now. I don’t know if you’ve increased sales numbers or efficiency or whatever else you’re supposed to have done. I do know that you still haven’t figured out how our new order processes work, so stop training the new guys. You’re doing it wrong.
You people are the reason I can’t quit smoking, because my stress level is so high that those five minutes outside are the only thing that keeps me sane. I’m having miniature panic attacks at work, and I’m pretty sure if I knew how to read a blood pressure cuff thingy, I’d be appalled. I don’t hate my job. I really don’t. But I’m on the verge of what is officially enough. I don’t feel I have the right to complain, because even after doing the majority of work for my entire department, I still have time to slack off and screw around a little. I just reached the five-year mark and finally got upgraded to three whole weeks of vacation a year. I don’t want to have to find another job because I don’t want to lose that extra week of vacation. But I don’t know how much longer I can handle this. After eight years of being medication-free, I had to call up my old psychiatrist to see if I can get some xanax, and probably some fucking prozac, too. You did this to me. Sure, other factors helped, but none of them would have been so bad if I didn’t feel so completely stressed out at work. I have deliberately structured my less-than-awesome life in a way that any job I have can be left at the office–I go in, I do my job, I come home, and I don’t think about it otherwise. I can still do that, but is it worth the hyperventilating and heart palpitations I’m having at my desk? Probably not.
). Tech A may provide that functionality(that’s actually in question, but I wouldn’t bet against it), but the work to integrate Tech A into our product is a massive amount of work. The architect knows this and so he proposes some hybrid solution that technically speaking could work but I don’t think would meet our performance requirements (plus implementing his solution would be a fair amount of work by itself that would probably exceed my work item by a fair margin). He’s adamant that we consider it, though, so I start working on a prototype with the goal of seeing whether his proposal is even workable (with an eye, I won’t lie, with trying out all of the things that I think won’t work so I can kill this idea off for good. The architect has been banging the drum to move us over to Tech A for years.)