See, my attitude when I’m leaving a job is to try to find as many things to put off until I’m gone as I can. I always enjoy it when supervisors give me lists of things they want to make sure I get finished before I’m done. I smile and nod and don’t do any of them. 
Em: I never ceased to be amazed at how incredibly petty and childish people are. Ugh.
Hey can i play?? Okay working overnight in a major city Police dept …experience 13-14 yrs… Monday night my territory partner Julio gets a call (names changed to protect my ass) of a disturbance…then changed to burglary in progress. He gets to the scene and the complainant is a former honduran soldier who gives good info on an attempt robbery in the woodline next to an apt complex. Description is three black males and a black female… gives a license plate and description of the car as well. I run the plate comes back to the same car description and gives a nearby address. I catch the car prior to its entering a notoriously crappy apt complex… I do a felony car stop with all the trimmings… Wait for my backup (btw seven guys partrolling a large area of a major city… nice staffing by the bosses in charge… totally under what the FBI recommends)
When backup gets their we separate the occupants (put them in cars alone) and i tell my guys to get the info on each person… (nobody has any id of course) a check of the driver reveals that he is wanted out of neighboring state and suspended license out of this one. He’s going to the pokey… i can then check the area of the car he was sitting in since he is considered owner operator… i find gun under seat… leave gun their to take pictures of… Now after all of this… Lazy scared Sgt shows up. He obviously arrives to scenes after they are dead so not to actually have to participate in any “Action”. I’ve caught him sitting at a red light in an Burglary in progress call. He’s referred to as Sgt Clump… or Birthday Cake due to his wearing of his uniform so well…
Scared Shitless Sgt then proceeds to panic… can u do this… can you do that…why yes i can… I explain the situation to him twice… Finally he says… okay… we’ve done good here… WHAT What the fuck have WE DONE… You’ve done NOTHING… you are a scared piece of shit… I actually look forward to the day you get waved down and some one forces you to take action…
Geez… these are some… more than their used to be… supervisors… in my field today… they’re all scared of getting sued… etc… This guy is so spineless i can’t take up for him anymore… what can i say to my rookies… it makes Unit Integrity pretty fucking hard…
I just dropped in to mention that I am currently unqualified for this thread. I am in the third week of a five week vacation, and have no clue what the fuck is happening at work!!!
ninney ninney!
Tris
You should start referring to him as Sergeant Colon (of Ankh-Morpork on the Discworld). Sgt Colon is well known for guarding bridges so nobody steals them. So far, he’s had 100% success in preventing bridge theft. Sgt. Colon and his usual partner, when forced to actually patrol the streets, are known to check doorknobs to see if any doors are unlocked. If they find an unlocked door, then they go in and take everything that’s not nailed down, for safekeeping.
Says poopyhead words at you!!!
nitpic…its neerner neerner
When our store stayed open on New Years Day we didn’t make enough money to bother turning the lights on. So it’s great that we’re open normal trading hours Easter Friday/Monday. Nice move guys. Also on the Wedding Day next Friday(which is a bank holiday in the UK) and the Bank holiday the following Monday.
What’s equally awesome is that on the day of the Royal Wedding, when central London will be swamped (especially if the weather holds) with a million nannas waving tiny Union Jacks, that I will be travelling in for a completely normal day of work. I’m sure we’re going to be really busy, so good call on being open the full twelve hours, guys. Oh, management have all taken both long weekends off? But of course! Given as my normal bus route goes through Westmister, I’ll be taking the tube. Yay! Stinking hot and full of tourists!
I know that things could be a lot worse. but it’s just so stupid to be open at all, and not even with reduced hours, that I’m pissed. Ah, fuck it. I see the supermarkets are selling cans of Pimms & lemonade, so maybe I’ll just get mildy, patriotically, drunk at my desk.
Hey, you know what’s a great idea?! Let’s push a Flash player update! That your browser needs to be closed for! But instead of giving you a prompt to close it yourself, we’ll just kill the process! THAT’S THE BEST IDEA EVER.
There’s a *small chance *that I *may *have been in the middle of an incredibly tedious and time-consuming process of reconciling the purchases on one of my corporate cards for this month. That there’s no way to save at the point I was in the process. Because the system is horribly designed in every conceivable way. Which is why it’s so tedious and time-consuming in the first place.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAARGH. All I wanted to do today was take the day off and play Portal 2. But no, I came into work, because that’s what grown-ups do. And this is the fucking thanks I get.
You can also kindly eat a fetus.
What creepy extra-r country are you from? Everyone knows it’s neener neener. (Or nanny nanny boo boo. Or nah-na nah-na boo boo.)
That’s beautiful, man. {sniff}
I’m from a country that has cats helping me type. His name is Idiot Cat, aka Fabio 
My rant…the computers have been down for 4 days. I’m out of makework. I can’t burn up my PTO now because someone has to be in the office to answer phones. When the system comes back up, I’m going to be slammed and will probably get comp time because I’ll be working extra time.
The IT guys are doing their best, they got my work station up and running. The servers still need to be rebuilt so I can’t use my inventory program or even print anything on the shared printer. AND, all of the county computers don’t have solitare. My eyes hurt from squinting at my cell screen while playing TRON.
Last I heard, I won’t be able to do anything but sit around for another week.
When I’m queen of the world, people who write worms and virus’s will be the first ones against the wall.
Nm
Aw, that’s just friggin’ awesome. Our servers were having problems on Friday. We were short-handed yesterday and really needed things to work properly: still problems. Today? Yeah. Still problems. Same ones. IT is basically giving us the “talk to the hand” treatment, and my manager - a sweet, restrained, and demure lady - actually ALMOST SWORE. She called the situation “a total clustereff” and I almost died laughing as soon as I was off the phone. But seriously, it’s the equivalent of hearing, I dunno, the Queen Herself say it. Shocking!
She’s pissed, and I’m glad it ain’t at me. Still, I would like to, yanno, get a little bit of work done here and there. Plus I just found out that the whole clustereff 
started as a result of a code rollout that was itself supposed to fix problems that resulted from an earlier rollout, and the recursiveness would be hysterically funny if it wasn’t starting to cause real issues for my team.
I live in a Dilbert strip. Considering what I learned about Scott Adams recently (right here on this very board!) that is indeed deeply disturbing.
**Email from person in charge of our style guidelines (PCOSG): **Hey guys, we’re moving to AP style. Here are some updated rules, including ways in which we’ll be deviating from the AP standards as part of our internal style.
**My reply to PCOSG: **I know we were able to order copies of the style guide we were previously using through [internal ordering site]; I checked but I don’t see the AP guide available. Do you know if that will be an option, or should I bring in my older copy from home?
**PCOSG: **Not that I’ve heard; check with your manager to see if anything is being rolled out.
**Me to manager: **[Forward entire chain thus far and then ask] Do you know if we’re getting AP style guides?
**Manager: **[Forwards chain back to PCOSG and asks] Are we getting AP style guides?
:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
I realize you’re very busy, but replying to the person whose email I forwarded you saying that she didn’t know and I should ask you about it.… That’s a special level of oblivious.
Ugh. My soon-to-be ex-boss (I’m done on Friday) is in the office a day earlier then I expected him. I know he’s a bit pissed about my departure, so was expecting some sort of ‘meeting’, but was expecting it to happen TOMORROW. So, when I got back from my meeting this morning and saw him in his office, I almost had a damn panic attack.
I’ve been back at my desk for almost an hour and his door has been closed the entire time. Add to that the fact that I need to go to an appointment in about an hour and will be gone for two hours, and it’s going to be a great afternoon. I scheduled the appointment today because I thought he was coming tomorrow (I checked his calendar and his flight was booked for tomorrow - then two days later he blocked me from viewing his calendar. He must have changed it after he blocked me.) and since he’s apparently not talking or emailing me, I didn’t have any idea that I would have to face him today.
I can’t reschedule the appointment or I’ll have to pay a $75 fee. It’s also a very important appointment.
Ugh, can’t wait to get out of here.
Man, at least you will never ever regret your decision to leave that place.
For real.
My appointment was quick, so I was out and back in an hour - I’ll consider it my lunch hour.
He said hi to me earlier when he left for lunch, but that’s it so far. Still in his office with the door closed.
Weird. Your boss and my boss. Separated at birth. Fucking children.
I don’t get what the big deal is. What’s he going to do–fire you? 
EGG-zackly. He can come find you and to the meeting if you’re free then - and if he doesn’t, TFB for him. He kind of sounds like a wanker.
I have several:
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To busybody and minion (again), you complained that we hadn’t been marketing enough. Okay, I agree, so I worked out a marketing campaign with our communications department that will drop in the next few weeks. To which you responded with about 20 questions criticizing how we were doing it, when we were doing it, the photography and nitpicky subjective comments about the copy. Kiss my ass.
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I have a vendor fair to go to in about 30 minutes. The “expert” who does this all the time bailed on me about an hour ago. The other person who was going with me had a medical emergency to take care of. I don’t begrudge her that at all. But I’m going to be talking about two products I know little to nothing about to a bunch of social workers who know exactly what they’re talking about. Luckily, I’m the subject matter expert in the third, but I have no idea of gauging interest in said product because I’ve never been to this fair before (or any other vendor fair). Dammit. I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve done interviews with some pretty jerky reporters from large publications. I should be able to do this.
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Other than that, this morning has utterly sucked. I’ve been informed that, despite the fact that one of the pieces I wrote was completely factual and neutral, because it’s a current event, it’s too political. Though I’m supposed to make this particular publication as current and relevant as possible. So, which is it? Offer the facts on a significant current event (proposals related to Medicare), or write something that’s dry as dust, that everyone knows and that’s safe? Evidently we’re choosing the dry as dust option. Shit. Why do I bother?