Second day of the boss in the office and he still hasn’t said anything to me. At this point, I’m ready to take two vacation days and take a hit on my last paycheck instead of enduring this shit.
Hey, I understand about hunting around for an additional source of income but
I DO NOT WANT ANY TUPPERWARE.
I have all the basic storage containers I need or want. I have no desire for ‘specialty’ containers that will only clutter my already too-full cabinets, and I don’t care about nifty tricks for using those specialty items for other uses. (I can use that icecream box to create a First Aid Kit?? Really? Did you know when you buy a First Aid Kit it already COMES in a suitable container?)
And guess what? When I (on rare occasions) need a new storage container I go to a store and buy one. It costs less, I get the container faster, AND I do not have to waste an entire evening being hard-sold containers by some chirpy tupperware fanatic.
I’ve explained all this to you twice, and yet you still keep leaving catalogs on my desk and spamming everyone in the office about your ‘parties.’ Stop it! NOW!
I DO NOT WANT ANY TUPPERWARE!!!
Can you send them an email saying exactly that, in that font?
EmanJ, your boss is giving you an excellent chance to practice not letting someone else’s idiocy become your problem. You gave proper notice, you’re (I assume) still doing an acceptable job to wrap things up - if he’s acting like a big baby boy, that’s his problem.
Lazy ass coworkers: Feel free to continue being lazy asses as long as it doesn’t affect my clients. Oh wait, it is. Trust me, I came from a workplace where we bent over and spread our legs for clients, I know how long it takes to do requests like this. Suck it up and spend a couple hours (at most!) and do it.
I’m the Queen of Hating Client Requests. Really, I am. But even I realize this is bullshit and you need to do it for the client. It’s easy for you to say no because you aren’t the one who has to go back and tell the client no. For fuck’s sake, I specified the exact file that needs to be changed and what it needs to do.
Edit: It is also being lazy ass if the feature is available but not documented. 
I do not want this ‘Tupperware,
I do not want it Mary Claire.
I do not want it on my desk,
I really think that it’s grotesque.
I do not want it near my chair
I just don’t want this Tupperware!
Please take this stuff away from me,
Or I will throw it in a tree.
Tupperware is nasty stuff;
I’ll kick your ass – this is no bluff.
I do not want this Tupperware.
Take it away; I just don’t care.
Or send them that poem (but maybe change the line about kicking their ass - don’t want to be accused of workplace violence). 
Oh, yeah! THANK YOU!
This is SOOOO getting printed out and posted on the bulletin board.
Heck, I’m going to post it on the bulletin board on EACH floor.
:D:D:D
My gripe is if I haven’t done something that needs to be done before you can do your part LET ME KNOW SO I CAN DO IT!
Yes, I’ve been with this company five years but only in this position for two months so I’m learning on the fly, and my boss has been run ragged since before Christmas thanks to the accountant quitting and only half ass training her replacement who turned out to be sickly and was gone by February anyway! So she doesn’t know all the ins and outs of my job, we’re both learning and discovering things that need to be done (and caught up on now!) since the one who quit just did them and kept no records on how to do things or what all needed doing and didn’t even train her replacement on some (most) of them! Boss even suspects she deleted files! Plus boss has been traveling because head office said she couldn’t get out of certain trainings despite everything being crazy here.
So forgive me if I don’t know everything that needs doing, but we were informed that this needed to be done during last month end. How about instead of sending out a generic email saying ‘please advise status’ when it’s YOUR group who does that function and being snarky when I say your guys haven’t done it yet tell me I need to do something before you can do your job. Or maybe answer people when they email you asking if we need to do something instead of ignoring it for a month and a half! But I guess sitting with a thumb up your ass is much easier isn’t it?
Gah! It took me two minutes to complete once I knew what needed to be done, and I know to keep an eye out for these things to do now. Is it really that hard?
Grr.
We’re busting butts here, with only two of us and only one when boss is traveling and I’m still learning some things and dusting off brain cells for stuff from school not used since school… Well I wanted to work in accounting but damn people.
I love how the help desk for the guests is in the US but the one for the people who actually work for the company is in the Philippines. I know call center jobs are dull and they suck and I can understand your accent, Mr. Help Desk Filipino Guy, but seriously, giving me a fifteen minute runaround just to get a ticket number to get a new printer shipped to us? How hard is it to understand “the printer is randomly chewing up paper”? No, turning it on and off does not help, I’ve tried that. I’ve dusted the printer with a can of air to get the crap out, I’ve scrutinized it to see if anything is stuck in there that we can get out, I’ve taken the ink cartridge out and put it back in, and it’s still randomly chewing up paper. This would be the paper that we give the guests to sign and print receipts on. The paper you don’t want randomly chewed up. And no, the printer’s serial number does not start with a C. I’ve given you the serial number. Yes, the one that’s on the back of the printer. Yes, that’s the only number on there besides the model number (well there’s some electrical spec information back there, but that won’t help matters any.) By the way, just as an FYI, we do not use A4 paper in the US. Just say letter sized. That will streamline things a bit.
Seriously, we have to schedule the help desk calls for when there’s at least three people behind the desk just in case it takes eighty years for them to a) realize we’re being honest that something’s screwed up and b) wait for them to give us the runaround about the problem before they admit they have to give us a ticket number.
Meanwhile the printer is still randomly chewing up paper and it’ll probably be two weeks before we get a new one.
Oh, I know you don’t think you want any Tupperware. But if you came to the party, you’d see how awesome the Tupperware really is and feel compelled to get some. I just know it! 
Aaaargh!
Tell you what, if I come to your Tupperware party, I’m gonna come with grocery bags full of storage containers to give away!
Hey, I inherited the household goods of both my mother and my mother-in-law. You force me to come to your party, you risk the consequences. <evil grin>
I work in an office with a lot of women. A lot of very “cute” 40-50 year old women who sport things like Hannah Montana and Twilight posters at their desks and wear Winnie the Pooh t-shirts whenever possible. Seriously. And they all fucking sell Mary Kay, Avon, Pampered Chef of Party Lite products. I hate it.
Yes, I should probably wear makeup. But stop trying to sell me things at my place of business, goddammit. Having an Avon catalog appear mysteriously on my desk every two days isn’t a gentle reminder. It’s a hit on the head with one of those giant cartoon mallets.
There is someone at work who seems to think the same thing about me.
I shower every day. I use shampoo and I brush my teeth. I can’t use those Scentsee things at work, and don’t want them in my home. I’m a tree hugger, it really offends me when I get a big catalog every week on my desk. Stop killing trees just to offend me, please.
My new work rant. Potluck was planned for someone who was leaving. That’s good, I’m always up for a food frenzy. The person who planned it sent out a group email asking what we would all be bringing. It was a breakfast thing, so I said I’d bring bagles and salmon flavored cream cheese. When we got the “this is what we are all bringing” email, suddenly, I was bringing a fruit tray with suggestions as what would be needed, just in time for me to have to go shopping after work and get up early to cut all that shit up.
Stop that, bitch. You do that every time we have a potluck. When I say what I’m bringing, if its not what you want for the perfect potluck, just tell me, don’t expect me to change my plans at the last minute.
Good for me, I didn’t cave this time. I got stink eye from her, but put my offerings down and filled my plate.
I don’t want to snark on you. I am not meaning for this to be one. Just pointing out that they may have done research and determined that looking great brings in more customers than whether or not the employees are happy working there.
Bonus points if it’s old Tupperware that’s been stored in an attic or garage since the mid-eighties…mmm, old Tupperware smell.
I’m not sure what’s the English for “métodos y tiempos”, but it’s got to be something along the lines of “process time analysis”. If you can have a place which both looks great and is distributed in such a way that workers do not keep running into each other, that means faster serving times, smaller queues and more business!
It’s not about the employees being happy, it’s about setting things up in such a way that they can do the job without it counting as a Nationals-level gymnastics workout. I’ve seen cafe stands where making a single black coffee required picking things from five different spots: who designed that, Donald Duck?
WTH? Does she know what “potluck” means?
I would have just responded “Hey, this is wrong, I’m bringing the bagels and cream cheese”, and it wouldn’t have even been snarky because it wouldn’t have occurred to me that she would assign me a different food than I signed up for. I would have just figured she got mixed up.
Good for you indeed! Your idea sounds better anyway. Mmmm, bagels with salmon-flavored cream cheese … Damn, now I’m hungry.
No kidding. I mean, yes, there’s a reason that a potluck needs an organizer–conceivably, there could have been excessive duplication. But the organizer’s job in that case is to facilitate negotiation. “Hey, you three all said you’d bring bagels. We probably don’t need that many bagels; do any of you have an alternate suggestion? Thanks!” Unilaterally overriding a volunteer’s plan, and only telling them at the last minute? Very uncool.
Does it turn you into a little accordioned version of yourself, or does it just leave you as a hat and a pair of shoes?
'Cos either one of those would be awesome.
Chewy bagels with sunflower seeds 
I was hoping for leftovers, but they were all gone.
I haven’t figured out to do nested quotes yet. She’s a super organizer, her idea of a potluck is for everyone to follow her menu for the meal. For her, its not a potluck, its a planned meal cooked by different people.
Had she told me that she would rather I brought a fruit plate a week ago, I would have done it. Its her passive/aggressive way of doing it that ticks me off. Sending out a group email announcing what SHe has decieded that everyone is bringing at the last minute just doesn’t work for me anymore.