OMG, flatlined. I’m dying over here. I’m sorry you have to put up with this idiot, truly, but your karmic return can be knowing that you’ve provided at least one random intertubes stranger with some amusement. 
Did he actually use the words “women’s work” and if so, is he 108 years old?
flatlined, until last week, I’d have thought you were seriously exaggerating the SG drama - I mean, no one could be that bad at a job, and so obnoxious, right? And then I met my new trainee…
I shall call her Sheneneh, because that’s what I call her in my head. If there has ever been anyone less suited for a customer service position, I haven’t met him/her. Loud? Check. Impenetrable speech pattern/accent? Check. Inappropriately dressed? Check. (Honestly, her wig was dusty/linty. Her pants were two-three sizes too small. Her tattoos were quite visible, and included crappy [looked like jailhouse] art and more than one “naughty” word. Crooked spidery false eyelashes. Long feather earrings, dangling from two earlobes that had apparently been ripped to shreds - possibly in a fight or two.) She couldn’t count money. Couldn’t type. Had no manners - interactions with guests would typically start with “ya wanna room?” and go downhill from there. No “Hi, how are you?” or any pleasantries. She had no problem-solving skills. She couldn’t count in general - a request of “could you go get about ten-dozen pastries out of the freezer?” was exceeded by three-fold. She couldn’t figure out why I pulled her aside and informed her that accepting a date from a hotel client was verboten, and could be grounds for immediate termination.
The final straw though?
She’s a hover-er. Pissed all over the seat of the employee john.
That was when it was time for her to clock out and go home. I’ll commute if we can’t train someone, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna work with a potty sprinkler!
I, for one, think that we should send Sheneneh and Shredder Guy to a remote, secluded island. They deserve each other.
These people have been standing with their screaming baby right outside my office door for more than an hour. She brought in her husband and infant today so everyone could admire them. She has her own office! She could go stand by her own door! And if I got up and shut my door, I’d look like the baby-hater I am.
Thank goodness I just got a phone call, so I could get up and closed the door with the phone receiver in my hand so they could all see it was for the benefit of my caller that I was shutting out the shrieking of the devil’s spawn. Of course, I don’t plan to open the door again. Why do you ask?
- Bring baby in to work if you feel you absolutely have to.
- Show everyone the baby. (Not me - not interested.)
- Take baby home after 10 minutes. Kids don’t belong in the workplace unless they’re actually working.
They went away, so I could get to the refrigerator to get my lunch. Otherwise I’d have had to stay in here and starve. No way am I getting trapped by the cult.
And Sigmagirl? Another rant is when you get to the fridge and find that you CAN’T find your lunch. Someone, by honest mistake surely, has taken it.
SG, no doubt! 
SG? Could be SigmaGirl, could be Shredder Guy. Totally honest mix-up!
XD I don’t think New Guy sounds quite as bad as SG…at least he’s entertaining. Today he was asking me about the “pressures of air” to be applied to a component, and seemed to be amazed at the concept of threaded pipe fittings.
I keep a pair of steel-toed shoes at work; I put them on when I need to go into the warehouse. Today I forgot to change out of them before coming home; I left my cute comfy shoes under my desk. :mad: The housekeeping staff tends to be rather sticky-fingered…I’ll be very happy if the shoes are still there in the morning. (Fortunately, Zappos is still showing these shoes in stock.)
Ohhhh, don’t mix me up with Shredder Guy. Kthx.
Nobody’s ever stolen my lunch. Only one time in almost four years somebody has lifted my can of Diet Dr Pepper. It’s never happened again, so it could have been an accident. I haven’t heard any tales of lunch thievery, but I am not attuned to office gossip; maybe my lunch just doesn’t appeal. (Turkey and low-fat Swiss on whole wheat; pretzels; aforementioned DDP.)
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I would totally eat your lunch.
Could some kind person point me to the first Shredder guy post in this thread please. I’ve missed/forgotten the start of the saga and it’s an awfully long thread to reread.
I think he first shows up in post #1013.
Hey, I like babies (enough to make some of my own), but my one-two-three would be:
- Don’t take baby to work. Leave with random hippies if necessary (No, seriously, have a Plan B and a Plan C for childcare).
- All babies look like Winston Churchill, so why would anyone need to see mine?
- People might be trying to, I dunno, maybe work at work.
How did you know? Boss lady said she lent him gas money just before payday and I’m quite sure he spent it on lotto tickets.
I wish I had thought to do that. I’ll do it when I am out for surgery. I’m quite sure that you are right about where the van was going. I’m going to ask one of the fleet guys for a sticker that says that the van now has GPS tracking. I don’t think I’ll actually get GPS tracking for my short use, but the sticker on the window might scare him.
I used to go home and drink heavily after trying to deal with him, but now I just laugh. I’m not sure that he used those words, its what boss lady said. I do know that it wouldn’t surprise me. When I confronted him about the dirty dishes in the sink, he told me that he always leaves them for his wife. I told him that meant that he after he clocked out, he would need to go get his wife to wash his dishes and then I started putting all the dirty stuff on his keyboard and told him that he couldn’t clock in until he cleaned up his mess. SG doesn’t like me much anymore.
Wow! Just Wow. You have my total sympathy!
The thing about SG is that he is very charming. He knows how to work the system and uses his age. He’s just a po old southern boy who thought that everyone was happy to share food and help out when someone is down and out, because that’s how he was raised.
I fell for it for over a year, then I started paying attention.
I don’t think Lacunae Matata was mixing someone as nice as you up with SG, she was just saying that if your lunch was marked SG, it would be an “innocent” mistake on his part if SG ate it.
SG has been very restrained since I got back. I think he knows that he went over the line. Boss lady, who is usually very rational and a nice person to work for, and who usually only visits the warehouse once a week has been stopping in at random times and the first place she goes is the shredding room. If SG isn’t there (and he’s usually not), she stomps up to ask me where he is. All I can do is shrug and say that he’s supposed to be there. I’m guessing I won’t be able to take pics of him getting shoved down the shredder feet first because she’s going to do it herself.
If I worked with Shredder Guy, I’d be making some hard-boiled eggs with flatlined’s recipe and putting them in the refrigerator marked Sigmagirl. Un apéritif?
As Heinlein says, offer to stand jigger for her if she gets pics.
Also, what do you mean by “I don’t think I’ll actually get GPS tracking for my short use”?
I know because all I have to do is picture my brother-in-law or sister-in-law in the same situation, and ask myself what they would do. Yes, I’m related by marriage to both a Shredder Guy and a Shredder Gal. This probably explains a lot about my sour personality.
Yep. The thing is, charming people learn very early how to use their charm to get stuff. Little kids learn that if they make big puppy eyes, they can get candy, or they can stay up a little later, or whatever. They can get away with a lot of crap, and are hardly ever called on it, as long as they don’t push it too far. It seems that SG pushed Boss Lady too far. You weren’t in a position to deal with him properly…but she IS. And you might suggest that GPS idea to her, she might be able to swing it, and she’s probably looking for any way possible to rein SG in.
The thing is, SG and his kin ruin things for everyone. People like him are the reason why we can’t leave our lunches and our loose change in a common area. He’s why companies install keyloggers on computers and GPS locators on vehicles. Incidentally, next time Boss Lady comes in to check on him, tell her that I said that she needs to check his computer files for porn, and his history for gambling sites. SG is the reason why companies have tightened the rules on sick leave.
The really scary thing is, if SG had a bit more intelligence, he’d be the boss right now, because he’s charming and he knows how to get people to do what he wants.
