I think a thread should be started about Shredder Guy types, a la The Ron Thread.
Sorry the answer took long, can’t Dope from the new job (and it’s actually busy!)
In my case yes, it’s swollen sinuses which feel like I have a cold but I don’t. I haaaaate it! Maybe your boss never remembers to have hankies handy? Littlebro once used brotherly privilege to whap Middlebro with a box of Kleenex before presenting it to him - it didn’t take much more to train him into trotting in the direction of the Kleenex Storage Room when he realizes he’s sniffling (sadly no, I don’t think whapping your boss with a box of Kleenex is work-appropriate behavior, even if the hankies are perfume-free and aloe-vera’ed).
Remember the SalesGoon I mentioned way back in my first post in this thread? (Probably not.) The one who not once but *twice *sent out a international-corporation-wide “reply to all” email? He’s being a bonehead again.
A military band is coming to town for the weekend. They are staying at the Establishment That Employs Me. There are many of them. (And a Ryder truck, on that more later). The band leader asked if they could check in between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. SalesGoon said, “Sure!”
Herein follows a list of people that SalesGoon pissed off royal with that blithe assurance with the reason for their pissedivity following:
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Me and the Nice Front Desk Lady because we had to check all of them in at once.
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Mama Bear, the executive housekeeper and DJ her assistant because they didn’t have a chance to put the vacant ready rooms in the computer which meant that NFDL and I had to call them approximately 498 times in ten minutes because we didn’t have all the vacant ready rooms to check people into.
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Squirrel AGM who was trying to get the food order in for breakfast this weekend. This has to be done by 3 p.m., but he had to field phone calls for NFDL and myself because we had to check in a million and six people.
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Big Boss who was trying to get the payables done but had to come and help us split bills because we were trying to do everything all at once because nothing was done yet.
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The band which had to put up with a lot more mess checking in than they should have.
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and most important: She Who Must Be Obeyed. Yes, Big Boss told on you. You pissed him off. You pissed *everyone *off. I’m sure SWMBO has tattooed this on your forehead by now, but let me reiterate: CHECK-IN TIME IS AT 3. GROUP CHECK-IN TIME IS AT 4.
I suggested to Big Boss that next time SalesGoon pulls this shit, we make him check everyone in by himself. I think he was seriously considering it as I left.
As for the Ryder truck, well, there goes parking for the weekend. I’m going to make my boyfriend get up early on Saturday and give me a ride to work because there won’t be any parking. (He’s already giving me a ride tomorrow, so that’s not a problem.) People will be parked on the side of the main drag tomorrow morning, I bet.
Some days I view my co-workers as zombies from Night Of the Living Dead, constantly lurching up and grabbing at me to inflict more work and annoyance.
Oh, he’s got Kleenex. I put a box on his desk for this very reason! 
I do like the idea of conditioning, though. Everytime he snorts in snot, I get to throw a box of Kleenex at him.
My shoes are OK! 
Yay!
This might be a good idea. We should isolate Rons and Shredder Guys whenever possible.
Plus, it would be handy to be able to send links from a specific thread to certain people.
It’s quite possible that Shredder Guy deserves his very own thread.
I’m sorry. I have kinda hijacked this thread. :smack:
My work rant for the day. Today, I was sent to a class “We all know how to talk, why can’t we communicate”. It was lead by a Life Coach. All of the feely touchy things you can imagine. Our last raise was in 2007. My work communication consists of “box, move here” “box, shred” and the most important one “file from this box goes there”
Why the heck did the PTB find it important for me to spend 4 hours of my day to learn how to be sensitive in my monosylible grunts? And how much did the trainer get paid? Stop wasting money on this shit and give us a raise. At this point just 10 cents an hour would make us feel special!
No apologies! I’m serious!
Please start a Shredder Guy thread. Or, if I have your permission, I’ll cut and paste a few of these posts into a thread for you?
I’m sure everyone will have a dysfunctional coworker story to contribute to it.
Ooh onoh Mr.Litter! [/Epstein] Can I resubmit Sheneneh for the awful cow-irker/shredder guy thread? She pissed on the toilet seat, for Og’ s sake!
I’m late to Shredder Guy and although it might be worth it, I’m not going to wade through 29 pages of griping to follow the tale. So, yes please! Dolores Reborn, compile a thread.
I hate my job. I’m sorry I’ve not read through this thread, I just need some help. I have work today and my heart is pounding with dread. I can’t take it anymore because I’m so overwhelmed with fear. I’m thinking about going on Social Security Disability because of my learning and anxiety problems. I’m not proud of that. It’s not like I don’t want to be productive. I work in a grocery store as a dishwasher in the prepared food section. I tried working three other jobs in the same store, but was moved to dishwashing because I couldn’t handle the stress of the other departments. At first I thought it was a perfect fit. I’ve been working at the store for 9 years now.
I work part-time because of the anxiety, and in becoming a dishwasher I’ve earned almost full-time hours. I’m no longer eligible for food stamps, which I just recently found out. And the rent in my subsidized apartment complex will go up. I HATE, HATE, HATE the fact that I’m receiving financial help from you, (tax payers). I don’t know what to do. I already contacted Employee Assistance Program, and I’m getting help from them.
I don’t know if working in a grocery store is good for me, (the pace is too fast and I’m afraid of crowds of people), but due to my learning problems, I don’t know what would be a fitting job for me. I daydream about killing myself all the time at work, (not that I would, because I wont), and the fact that I’m contemplating not working AT ALL, (if I go on SSD), makes me feel useless.
I’m so scared of going to work today.
The store I work at is known to be a great place to work, (you could probably figure out where I work if you read ‘Fortune Magazine’). Like I said, I’ve been moved to many different departments to find a good fit for me… so it’s not like these folks aren’t trying. I don’t hate the company I work for at all… they have been very accommodating. I just struggle on the inside to be content with my job, and I don’t know if I ever will. My job coach from Learning Disability Association is stopping in today to see if they can scale back my hours. I hope they do, but I was warned before taking the dishwashing job that my hours would inflate. I’m just tired of asking people to try and to accommodate my craziness.
I want to cry, (I’ve tried), but I can’t. I want to scream: “HELP ME!”, but I can’t. I want to quit but I can’t. I want to die but I can’t. Hell, I want to slip and fall at work to get injured, but I’m not counting on that happening. I just want out.
Now I have to deal with work again tonight… It’s times like these that I wish there was a God, so I could pray for some sort of intervening. I’m so sad and nervous at this point, I don’t want to stop typing.
I didn’t mean to sound pouty or anything. I’d love to have a dysfunctional coworker thread. Misery loves company! 
Please go for it, as I’m sure has been noticed, my cut/paste and linking skills need some improvement, so you would probably do a much better job.
I wish there was something I could say or do to help. The best I can offer is virtual hugs. I hope your job couch can help.
Your the best. I feel so bad for not reading other people’s problems on this thread… I wish I could take away the problems others are having. I also wish I could help those who are looking for jobs right now. I’m so selfish. I’m really, really sorry…
You’re not selfish and don’t be sorry. Just because someone else is out of work, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have your own issues or that it makes you horrible for letting off a little steam. Venting is good! I hope today goes well for you.
This is a great place to vent, so no need to apologize!
I wish I could help, too.
{{{MyFootsZZZ}}}
So I’ll go start a Shredder Guy thread!
DO begin to research SSDI. It is a benefit that is available to American citizens, and although I applaud your desire “not to be a burden on the rest of us” you should pursue it.
They will work with you and if you are eligible, you can get it. They can also help you in other ways. You can still work limited hours if you want.
If you go get the help you need perhaps you may find life gets better. Regardless, no-one will be able to help unless you go ask.
Go ahead. It’s okay.
Yeah, foot, I was reading your post and thinking, “What the heck can I say that could possible help?”
Brainstorm time: Dopers, what jobs might appeal to someone who doesn’t like crowds, or, most likely, much human interaction in general? The first thing that popped into my mind is the person who cleans kennels and cages at a vet’s office. I believe that position requires no interaction with the owners and has a fairly high turnover rate, so it’s possible that if you asked around at a couple of nearby vets you could find a position. Of course, you DO have to like animals, and I don’t know your feelings on that.
Any other ideas?
(I came in here to bitch and piss and moan about being dragged out to lunch at 11:15 when I work 9-6 - I mean, really, a scant two hours after I sit down I gotta leave? and then have this huge long endless afternoon to face? - but I think I’ll leave my griping at that.)
Oh, and foot? If it’s really asleep, you might have that trip-and-fall accident sooner than you think!