Works of art that probably will not get you laid

Inspired by this thread. Let’s start with the obvious: David Lynch’s Eraserhead.

Anything sung by Slim Whitman.

The Scream

Having *that * over your bed would put the kibosh on any nookie.

Captain Beefheart’s Trout Mask Replica is an album that really doesn’t lend itself to a make-out session.

A video of the McCarthy hearings.

Ducks on the Wall. Just ask Ray Davies :wink:

That picture of the Madonna with elephant dung that Mayor Guiliani threw a conniption fit over.

That painting of the angel watching over the two little kids crossing a bridge. I wish I could remember what it’s called.

Despite the sex scenes in both films, neither Schindler’s List nor Leaving Las Vegas has ever succeeded in getting me any. And this, after putting on Sam Kinison’s excellent version of “Louie Louie” as mood music.

Have you no decency, sir? At long last, have you left no decency at all? :mad:

Any painting by C.M. Coolidge, he of the “dogs playing poker” pastiche.

The Volkshalle.

That, or a Temple to the Atomic Bomb (glory be to the The Bomb, and the Holy Fallout).

Now THAT is an awesome film.

Pretty much all of country music.

Well, that can get you laid, you just have to make a quick detour through drunk. Think of it as the scenic route to laid.

Country music’s only redeeming quality is to pick up drunk cowgirls, and treat them like calfs at branding time.

Piss Christ (yeah, not so safe for work) paired with the dulcet tones of the Sex Pistols’ “God Save the Queen.”

Haiku got me laid, once…


I ain’t no buson.

Dogs Playing Poker.

The Pizash of the Chrizist