Works of art that probably will not get you laid

[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
The Scream

Having *that * over your bed would put the kibosh on any nookie.
[/QUOTE]

“No honey, open wider–like this.”

Klezmar music!

I know because I was getting laid when the radio station we had on changed from rock and roll to a new show with…klezmar music!. We were both laughing to hard to continue.

“Eraserhead” could lead to nookie in my vicinity. Great art makes me feel sexy.

Anything by R. Crumb.

[QUOTE=betenoir]
Klezmar music!

I know because I was getting laid when the radio station we had on changed from rock and roll to a new show with…klezmar music!. We were both laughing to hard to continue.
[/QUOTE]

A similar thing happened to me, but with digeridoo music (Xavier Rudd.) One of the reasons why you should make a specific playlist if you’re going to get it on to music.

What, this doesn’t do it for you and yours?

Richard McBeef.

[QUOTE=Garfield226]
Richard McBeef.
[/QUOTE]

“Mr. Brownstone” might but it won’t be the kind you’d like.

[QUOTE=CairoCarol]
“Eraserhead” could lead to nookie in my vicinity. Great art makes me feel sexy.
[/QUOTE]

So, um…how…

…I can’t say it. :frowning: :cool:

Vogon poetry.

Various of the songs mentioned in Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs, especially in the chapter Songs Women Hate. When He Hits Me It Feels Like a Kiss especially comes to mind.

A video of a C-section.

The preserved, stuffed and heroically posed corpse of your mother, with an altar in front of it.

I Spit on Your Grave

The World According to Garp.
Anything involving Lorena Bobbit.

Polka.

Fingerpainting… or at least it better not!

I was gonna go with Annie’s first one, plus:

Cornflake Girl.
Diane by 3 Pound Thrill.
Fish Heads.
Anything by They Might Be Giants.
I used to Love Her, But I Had To Kill Her, or whatever that song’s called.
Rape Me by Nirvana.

ETA: TMBG might get you the positive attentions of a nerd, but if a TMBG song comes on mid-makeout, depending on the feelings about the band it would probably either lead to a buzzkill, or stopping what you are doing to sing along with the song.

I might interrupt sex with inappropriate laughter if during the boink I heard Jim Morrison singing “This is the end…”.

Reading from the 1830 novel Paul Clifford, by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton. It begins, “It was a dark and stormy night…”.

On the wall – Saturn Eating His Son, by Francisco Goya (you might know this one alternately as “Cronos Eating His Children”).

And playing at a low volume for background ambience, Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music.

Good times… :stuck_out_tongue:

37 posts and no Salo?

[QUOTE=VCO3]
37 posts and no Salo?
[/QUOTE]

That’s the thing with almost all the answers in this thread: most of them will get SOMEONE laid. I’m sure there are quite a few people out there who could get laid with Salo, although the couple times I’ve seen it in a theater it’s been all about the walkouts. And it’s one of the DVDs that I’m almost sure to get back quickly when I lend it out.

Still, it’s de Sade, who has a lot of followers, n’est-ce pas?

The reason I nominated The Pizzle of the Chrizzle is because it’s got gore AND Jesus. Both pretty non-boneriffic. Still, I’m sure that right now there is someone out there somewhere frame-by-framing the oohIcanseehisribcage scene. (Reminds me; must move it into the Horror section when I get to work.)

The movie Killer Condom