World's most pointless answering machine message

I just called the IT department of one of our clients, and got this message, I kid you not:

“Hello, this is the <XYZ inc.> IT department. We do not take phone calls. You can contact us by email us at…” etc.

What is the fucking point of having a phone number then? Yeesh.

Mind you, I’m in IT myself, and I wouldn’t mind working in that department. No one bugging you on the phone, ever!

They probably use the phone line for out-going calls. If you got a phone line, you’ve got a phone number.

Hm, you’d think they’d just discontinue that line. Maybe there’s some secret code for getting through – like let it ring twice, hang up, and then call back.

I would hit the pound key a few times or try a zero zero punching to see if it does go through.

Or maybe they’ll turn it off and actually pick it up if they’re expecting the call… like a pre-arranged conference, or if a voice call has been worked out through emails. :slight_smile:

Or maybe they’ll turn it off and actually pick it up if they’re expecting the call… like a pre-arranged conference, or if a voice call has been worked out through emails. :slight_smile:

The last college I worked at had an answering system from hell. Extremely hard to use. Lots and lots of buttons had to be pushed. So I made my message into one much like in the OP. Gave them my email and told them they were wasting their breath leaving a message. (I tried at one time giving the number for the dept. secretary to leave a message, but she was totally incompentent so I had to stop that.)

I believe in the “two button rule” for retrieving messages. One to hear them, one to erase. Anything more than that is crappy design.

I’d like to email you to let you know that my email isn’t working…

That’s one of my pet peeves too. We have a voicemail system here that was designed by monkeys.

Here’s how I get my voice mail if I find the little red light is lit:

[li] Open the phone line corrsponding to the mailbox I want.[/li][li] Press the “Voice Mail” speed dial button.[/li][li] Listen to it dial.[/li][li] Listen to it ring.[/li][li] Listen to a recorded voice list the entire five-word-long version of our government agency’s name. Note that I know this is our agency’s voicemail, making this message purely a waste of time.[/li][li] Listen to a recorded voice say “Please enter your password, or if you’ve entered the wrong mailbox number, press star”. Note that I cannot have the wrong mailbox if I performed step one correctly, making this message purely a waste of time.[/li][li] Enter the seven-digit password.[/li][li] Listen to a recorded voice say “You have x new messages and y old archived messages.” Note that I seldom care about the old saved messages if I’m calling because the little red messaage light is lit.[/li][li] Listen to a recorded voice say “To review your new messages, press one one.” Why two digits? What on earth function would be sufficiently useful that it would be allowed to displace pressing a single digit to retrieve the new voicemail? Or why press a digit at all – start the voicemail by default and let me press a digit to interrupt it and get a menu. [/li]
There’s more information the voice will continue with if I haven’t already pressed one one.[/ul]

Now, you’d think I’d hear my message, right? Foolish optimist.

[ul][li] Listen to a recorded voice say “First new message.” [/li]<pause>
“Sent at Thursday at eight fifty six AM.”

NOW AT LAST I get the message:

“Call me.”


My Vonage phone, while not that bad, has to add in
“From four one four nine six three two four eight nine”

“leave me a msg or leave me alone”

I’d like to add a contender:

“The number you have dialed has a voice mail box that has not been set up yet. Thank you.” …click…bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This as I was trying to get in touch with a plumber after my water heater ruptured after I got home from my night job. It was also the most response I got after dialing a slew of supposed 24 hour services. Apparently they didn’t mean 24 hours in a row.

If only there was some way of knowing who was calling. Something sort of like Caller ID, no, something exactly like Caller ID. :wink:

My complaint about the voicemail at work is that the weenies who set it up force a password change every two months. I can see the purpose of password changes for the computers, but voicemail? Trust me, I don’t care if someone hacks into my messages. They would be bored to tears.