I know this is early to start a thread for a memorial event, but I wanted to make sure folks had time to get a candle or two or three and pass on the invitation.
I invite you to join me on Sunday, December 12, at 7 p.m. with other parents around the world for the 8th annual Worldwide Candle Lighting, in memory of our children.
They are not lost, they are not forgotten, they were not perfect, but they are missed and loved and we celebrate their life and cherish the memories, even the naughty ones.
Candle lightings will be held in private homes, local churches, community halls, parks and other public places. This worldwide event is held each year on the second Sunday in December at 7 p.m., your local time for one hour. It will be a 24 hour remembrance as it makes it’s way around the world.
Relevant links:
Information about the worldwide event
Senate Resolution #436, National Children’s Memorial Day
This year will be our 11th as it was held locally and nationally before it became a world wide event. I have often lit more than one candle, but this year the second candle is for family, rather than a friend.
Whether you are parent, sibling, other family, friend, teacher, co-worker or whatever, please join us. Let your loved one or friend know you remember their child our their sibling. If they are recently bereaved they may not yet be hooked into grief support communities to know about the event. Take them a little candle, share a memory of the child and tell them about this worldwide remembrance event. I have done this before with people and the parents have been pleased to have their child remembered.
The First Candle:
ToddlerSthrnAccent was a blessing from the start. I lost his twin during the pregnancy and felt his life was a gift and answered prayer. He was charming, smart, independent, stubborn, bossy, mischevious, adored his older brother, loved being outside, being barefoot, he was a messy eater, and lived life with all the gusto typical of a happy healthy toddler. His favorite song was by Alabama, “Song of the South”. He would dance so hard in his carseat that his dad had to move the seat forward so as not to get kicked in the back. It wasn’t a kiddie song and we don’t know why, but that’s the way it was. He loved to swing and could back more sand into his pockets than any other kid in the playgroup. He loved Cherrios, macaroni and cheese, strawberries, pizza and M & M’s and a family treat that was at that time called “messy treat” and is now called by his name for himself. The last new word I remember him learning before he became ill was “Amen”. If he was very hungry, he would rush the prayer by interjecting the “Amen” before whoever was giving the blessing on the food was finished, which we found highly amusing and nearly choked ourselves trying not to laugh about, because he’d only do it more if we laughed. He did learn several dozen illness and hospital related words while ill, but “Amen” was the last one before chicken pox and then leukemia came to our house.
The Second Candle:
NephewSthrnAccent was born with a debilitating disease. He suffered much, but he was a happy, chatty little boy. He had been doing well when he was accidently injured and required a surgery from which he would not recover this fall. Since his body didn’t grow normally, he was particularly vocal. He was a tiny little boy, but he talked like someone a year or two older. He loved his older sister who gave of herself, physically and emotionally for his benefit. He loved second grade, yellow, Scooby Doo, and drawing. He was a great tease and not above slugging a rival for his favorite girls affection even though he was only about half the size of other boys his age. He depended on scooting or a wheel chair to get around. He was outspoken with his caregivers, once telling someone who loved him very much but was moving to fast, “You are scaring me, put me down and I will scoot myself into the house.” He often let his glasses slide down his nose, annoying his mother so she would admonish him, “push your glasses up.” He would. When she would look away, he cut his eyes in her direction, give his head a quick tip forward and down they’d go!
This is long already and it’s emotionally hard so I’m going to stop here for now.
Please join our family next Sunday at 7 p.m. Have a favorite treat… by candlelight. We’ll be putting a scoop of homemade vanille ice cream on half a graham cracker, squirt on a little magic shell chocolate that hardens as it hits the ice cream and top with another half graham cracker, squeeze until it’s like a sandwich. Have damp clean face cloth nearby, and enjoy.