As I’ve told the story before, back in 2007, when I was dating my wife-to-be, I took her to Yakzie’s on Diversey for some good chicken wings (she’s from Buffalo) and to introduce her to Malort, as it was just starting its hipster revival and you had to know which bars stocked it. I just told her that she had to try it and it was a classic old man’s drink in Chicago. She downed the shot. I eagerly awaited her reaction. Nothing. “That’s not too bad!” I knew then she would be my wife.
As I said above, I enjoy It unironically, and my father really likes it because it’s essentially exactly the same as piołunówka, a Polish drink of wormwood macerated in alcohol. One brand used to be available in the US until some time in the 90s, so Malort is the closest substitute. There are other very bitter-type macerations and liqueurs that he (and I) enjoy as well which don’t fit the average American taste preferences but is common in at least parts of Europe.
We once bought a bottle of Ng Ka Py, after reading about it in East of Eden. Steinbeck wrote that it tasted like rotten apples, but it didn’t even taste that good. It tasted like muddy water with decayed weeds mashed up in it, and we tossed it after one sip. But the bottle was cute.
My WAG (read that again) is those with a SodaStream realized it was more than worthless (cost more to use than just buying soda) that they sought alternate uses to make it worthwhile.
Beverly was going to be my answer, but I couldn’t remember the name of it. I, too, tasted it at Epcot in Disney World. It was horribly bitter, and I have no doubt that the series of faces I made upon tasting it were highly amusing to any and all onlookers.
Shasta Chocolate Soda was the worst I ever had. Looking back they may have been going for a poor person’s egg cream. When I had an egg cream as an adult I wasn’t impressed, but at least I could finish it.
Fernet is apparently very popular with chefs and their underlings. It’s not terrible. I like it more than Moxie or energy drinks. I have never tried Malort but enquired about it here after The Economist made fun of it.
I’ve had many hideous alcoholic beverages. Malort was interesting but not horrible. I had a stout made from incredibly hot peppers that was difficult to consume and caused severe diarrhea for two days, but the taste was actually okay.
I like sour beers. I’ve happily gotten drunk on beer so sour that some people who tried it would spit it out, then rinse their mouths with water.
Maybe the worst beverage I’ve had was Angostura Bitters. Usually a couple of drops are added to a drink, but I’ve done shots of it (bitters shots are a thing). It’s fairly high in alcohol, but doing a second shot after downing your first is difficult.
It’s not worthless but it ISN’T a savings if used as intended (with the company’s mixes and sky-high carbonation refills). It works fine if you want to use it to make custom sodas with homemade and higher quality ingredients (I have a Nuka-cola mix made from the Fallout Cookbook that is shockingly good) or just want to easily carbonate water (my wife’s preference). But yeah, even then I’d advise buying an after market addition to use alternate bottling - even at the refill prices the carbonation is overpriced and do NOT make the listed volume if used as directed (average 40L product from the 60L bottle).
