Malört And Other Weird Local Tipples

Cafe Society
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1

I have never heard of Malört, a wormwood drink popular in Chicago (and now also sold in Ohio) until reading about it in The Economist, though it has been mentioned in passing here (as hard to explain to aliens, and when discussing bitters). Sounds like a possible
cross between absinthe and sewage waste, but that might be unfair. But there are lots of local tipples, and often reason they stay local.

Screech is rum too toxic for Jamaicans, foisted on visitors to beautiful Newfoundland in the Canadian Far East. Moxie is still sold in Maine. Sure, every country has its preferred tipple. But which ones are unique to just one city or a very small area? Many Mexicans love mezcal and pulque, but these are sold country-wide… I want very local drinks, and not mere craft-beer variations.

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Moved to cafe society.

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I don’t know about that. I think we just use it to haze newbies.

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Malort is less a weird local tipple and more like a fraternity prank that just won’t die. The only pleasure it generates is from videos of the uninitiated showing expressions of disgust after trying it, AKA Malort Face. It’s not something to seriously recommend to anyone you like.

5

I’ll be in Chicago in two weeks and I’m going to make a point of trying a shot just to see if it’s as awful as people say. It’s something I’ve had in the back of my mind ever since I saw this sketch on Youtube nearly a decade ago;

6

Washington Island, Wisconsin has a tradition of downing a shot of Angostura Bitters.

I like two or three drops in a glass of ice water. Can’t imagine drinking a shot.

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I’ve had the shot at that bar, and it was fine. Note that I love bitter and herbal drinks, like Underberg, Unicum, Fernet, Amaros, etc.

I unironically like Malort, but see above. Bitter flavors are in my wheelhouse when it comes to alcoholic tipples. It doesn’t taste much at all like absinthe, despite the wormwood. Absinthe is more about the anise flavors, really, with a wormwood backbone. If you’ve never had wormwood before, it is extremely bitter. The gentian in Moxie or the quinine in tonic water is in that general ballpark, but think of a drink that is exclusively composed of that bitter. Malort is a bit one-dimensional in that regard, but I still like it. It reminds me of a Polish drink called piłonówka, which is a drink of wormwood macerated in alcohol. The difference, I believe, is that Malort is not macerated, but distilled.

The first time I gave my father Malört, he loved it. The local newfound popularity with the drink came about sometime in the mid 2000s, to my memory. It was otherwise known as an old man’s drink, I assume probably popular with the more Central and Eastern European immigrant set, but that is conjecture on my part. Then it did become some sort of “dare” drink or rite of passage, or even a test of one’s “Chicago-ness.”

In the early 2010s, at least, there was a “hipster” version of Malört that was distilled in New York. I can’t seem to find reference to it anymore, so I assume that venture failed, but I remember buying a bottle and it was more interesting than Jeppson’s (which isn’t really hard to do.)

As to add to the OP and not just make this all about malört, if non-alcoholic drinks are allowed (and you mention Moxie, so I guess they are), Buffalo’s local quirk is loganberry drink. It’s just a very sweet , non carbonated red drink flavored with loganberries (a blackberry-raspberry hybrid.) Featured in many (most?) soda fountains across the Buffalo area. (And there’s canned versions, too, though I’ve only had it from the fountain.)

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I can’t say I can think of anything weird we drink here in Texas; we’ve got our own beers, and even our own styles to some extent, but nothing strange. Same with liquors and mixed drinks; nothing particularly unusual goes on that I can think of, even if a few originated here.

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Same for SoCal. Lots of weird booze, but most of it is imported and quite popular in its home country.

Soda-wise the only thing that comes to mind is Cactus Cooler, which is a quite pleasant orange-pineapple blend. Not intensely local either - I’ve seen it as far east as Texas and as far north as Portland. Makes a wonderful float on a hot summer day.

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I imagine Becherovka is not very well known, at least by some, but it’s probably sold countrywide (Czech Republic), which wouldn’t fit the OP’s bill.

After trying it in Prague, I was amused enough to buy a big bottle at the airport on my return trip. Back home, I had fun letting friends try it, and I ended up drinking most of it over a few weeks, but at some point it reminded me too much of cough syrup or something, and I think I just dumped the last of it.

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Rhum Agricole is a rum produced and consumed in the French Caribbean. It is rum made from sugarcane instead of molasses.

I love it. It has a harsh, raw taste compared to rum. My favorite consumption is in a Ti Punch, which is Rhum Agricole, sugar (simple syrup ideally), and muddled limes. Oh, is it good.

It is customary in the Caribbean to serve it on ice to women and tourists. I’ve had a few bartenders ask me if I want my Ti Punch on ice. I glare and ask them why they’d think that. Each time I got an apology and a free drink.

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It’s definitely available and reasonably common to find it here in Chicago. At least the last time I went looking for it a few years ago. Looking online, a number, but not all, of the Binny’s (local liquor chain) have it. I used to buy it at the local liquor store. I find it a great fall/winter kind of drink and am always baffled to see it listed as a digestif bitter, as I don’t find it much bitter at all. I think of it as an herbal liqueur.

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Well, there’s the sourtoe cocktail served in Dawson City… Probably no great prospects for export, although I don’t know the market for mummified human toes in great detail.

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Wormwood suggests a possible relationship to absinthe, which is made from a plant called artemisia absinthium, also known as “grand wormwood”. Absinthe is interesting because the genuine stuff (which is not readily available in most places) is thought by some to possess psychoactive properties due to the presence of the chemical thujone, though this is disputed.

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Pretty much everything I’ve ever read about this is that you would long die of alcohol poisoning before getting any sort of high off the wormwood. The Polish drink I mentioned above has more thujone content because it’s macerated and not distilled, and I’ve never gotten anything near high off of even that. There is a theory that copper or antimony toxicity was responsible for some of the lore surrounding absinthe. Most absinthe I’ve had is pretty freaking high in alcohol (Pernod Absinthe, for example, is 136 proof), so I suspect it’s more a case of getting really drunk, really fast.

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I agree. The lore surrounding absinthe mostly came from its use by bohemian artists like Toulouse-Lautrec in the late 19th century (and perhaps earlier; it was popular in New Orleans in the early part of the 19th century) at which time, who knows what contaminants were in it. Plus it was – and remains – exceptionally high in alcohol.

I’ve had absinthe but not the really authentic stuff. I wouldn’t mind sometime trying the real stuff – the “green fairy” – the kind that turns into a cloudy louche when sugar is dripped on it from an absinthe spoon. :slight_smile:

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Pernod Absinthe will louche on you. Anything with a high enough fennel.anise content will (like pastis or ouzo or arak.) I assume other essential oils can louche, but those are the most common.

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There is something called Chartreuse Verte or Chartreuse Elixir, which has a ridiculous amount of plants in it; unfortunately it tastes like loads of sugar as well. Like other liquors, the 70% alcohol will mess you up long before any of the herbs might.

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A couple years ago I was in Chicago for Xmas and took part in a white elephant. I ended up with a box that contained three things: a bottle of Malort, a twenty dollar bill, and a joint. The latter two were meant as an apology for the former.

Yes, I drank some as ritual tribute to my hosts. Yes, it was awful. I think I said it tasted like “pickle diesel.”

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I don’t know how local or weird you consider it, but “horilka with stuff in it” is worth mentioning: could be honey, sweetgrass, capsicum, blackcurrant, you name it.

Then there is “arkhi”…