I live in Chicagoland and have never tried Malort. From what I gather, it tastes like shit and that is it’s one noteworthy quality. So I’ll just have to go to my grave without the experience.
By the way, the video Smapti linked to above is wonderful, I check it out once in a while because it brings a laugh!
“I’d rather be buried in DORT! That’s Malort mixed with dirt.”
“It tastes like an abortion clinic!”
It tastes like unadulterated bitter. Like I said upthread, think of the bitter in tonic water, amp it up about tenfold or so, and remove all other flavorings and sweetness and you’re there. Back around 2008 when I was dating my wife, I took her up to Yakzie’s on Diversey and noticed they had Malört on offer. This is around when Malört started its ad campaign aimed at the younger generation – I had only known it as the Chicago “old man’s drink” at the time, but I had had it many times. I’m like, oh man, you’ve got to try this! This is a Chicago drink! I did tell her it was an “old man’s drink,” but nothing else. We got a shot each. Excitedly, I watched her as she downed the shot, waiting for a reaction. I got … nothing. No sour face, no wince, no snort, nothing. “It’s not bad.” No satisfaction whatsoever for me. But that’s when I knew (or, more accurately, got one more clue) that she was the one for me.
I love Malört. I have to have it shipped in by the case special where I live (the shipping costs more than the bottle so I buy 6 at a time).
For all the funny descriptions, it tastes sweet and herbal on the front, with a finish of bitter grapefruit rind and rubbing alcohol.
Its the finish/aftertaste thay gets people. Its bitter, and it LINGERS. But I like it.
I drink it atraight, sometimes with a couple dashes of Angostura bitters to really elevate it.
If you throw 2 oz Malört into a Moscow mule, i swear to god it tastes like grapefruit juice!
Wonderful stuff!
I remember Becherovka! To me it tasted of cloves. A little went a long way, although one member of our team drank it on a regular basis. He nearly cried when he dropped and broke the bottle he brought back to Brussels.
The oddest thing I’ve tried was a Virgin Island drink called Mauby, made from fermented tree bark. It’s made commercially now, but in the 70s, it was something homemade and not in a good way.
Awww! 
Seriously now, nice story!
What’s the meaning of louche here? I see it in dictionaries only as an adjective, and you’re using it as a verb.
To become milky, cloudy white when water is added to it.
A few years before the pandemic, picklebacks were a big deal for about a minute at a few local bars. I downed my share. You do a shot of cheap whiskey, followed immediately by a shot of picklejuice. The end result is just the pickle taste.
Thanks. I’ve just noticed a Wiki entry. I used to see that a lot in the 80s and 90s, when there were old guys in the bars drinking anis like that in the morning while everyone else would be waking up with coffee.
Torani Amer might just be weird and local enough to fit in this thread. It’s obscure enough that the actual Torani website* does not even list it as one of their products.
It’s popular with the Basque population in and around Bakersfield, California, and serves as a substitute for the no-longer-available French liqueur, Amer Picon. The Basques have the tradition of drinking something called a Picon Punch, and other that with that population and a few diehard vintage cocktail fanatics like me, the stuff has zero presence anywhere else.
It’s not even that close an emulation of the original Amer Picon, but I wouldn’t know as that stuff’s been unobtainable longer than I’ve been old enough to drink. I have my own replica formula which I think is better, but I couldn’t make any judgement as to whether it’s closer or not.
WHERE TO DRINK PICON PUNCH WITH THE BASQUES IN BAKERSFIELD
*Torani being one of the foremost suppliers of all those different flavored syrups that people who are not me dump into their coffee.
Unemployed Wine Guy has a bunch of videos featuring malort based drinks, they are pretty funny IMO.
This might not count, but bars making their own flavoured vodka was a thing in my earlier student days. One of the more popular ones tasted like the sour Jolly Ranchers they used. Was this limited to Montreal? I doubt it.
I’ve never tried it, but I think Malört and root beer would be a suitable mixed drink for the spirit, as some sort of alcoholic Moxie.
Its better with ginger ale
I guess most people reading this thread will have heard of Calvados, a French apple brandy made in … well, Calvados. It’s reasonably well know outside of France these days, I think. But it’s only quite recently that I discovered that there is a Breton apple brandy, Lambig. Of course I bought a bottle - and so, based on a sample of one, I would have said it’s flavor is distinctly more apple-like than Calvados. Yeah, sounds stupid, but if you taste them side by side, Lambig is definitely the one that tastes more strongly of apple.
This article mentions Pommeau de Bretagne, the Breton version of Pommeau. I hadn’t even heard of Pommeau de Bretagne before - now I’m on a mission!
Pommeau is made by mixing Calvados with apple juice, and interestingly, when I first tried it, Lambig reminded me strongly of Pommeau.
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An abortion clinic in Iceland, to be specific.
in a lot of places they still are a thing,van houtens actually bottles their brine for the market
Back when I still indulged alcohol this was my choice of schnapps:
Bäsk is a synonym to bitter. Actually, bitter is a word in Swedish, but is used to describe something unpleasant, whereas bäsk is something enjoyable. The label says Bäska Droppar, which translates as Bitter Drops. And yes, it’s done with malört, which is the Swedish word for wormwood.
It’s certainly an acquired taste, and it goes really well with beer and will make even the driest brew taste sweet. I’m not surprised it’s a thing in Chicago. I’d imagine it’s around in Milwaukee and Minnesota as well, since all three states had a big influx of Scandinavians in the late 19th early 20th century.
actually ive seen store brand malort here in so cal …i thought the stuff sounded terrible when it’s (of dubious) quality … could you imagine generic? the horror