Worst. Comicbook. Ever.

For a very funny look at unique, absurd, and otherwise interesting comics, check out Oddball Comics, written by Captain Carrot creator Scott Shaw!. Some of the strangest comics Shaw! has featured include one very politically incorrect story about a little black boy who dreams of a planet made entirely of watermelons, and the comic book series “Herbie the Fat Fury.” There’s some other ones in there, including one of Shaw!'s personal favorites, a comic with a cover in which a man is hit in the head with a fish.

Plastic Forks #1 was so painful I almost couldn’t finish it. Cyberfrog #1 was so bad I couldn’t finish it. Among the more recent candidates, “Just Imagine If Stan Lee Created The Flash” was unbelievably bad.

Brother Power the Geek
and Johnny Turbo: you know that turbo-graphix 16 comic where Johnny Turbo fights the evil power known as Feka!

This is a funny commentary on Johnny Turbo
http://sardius.fefea.org/reviews/jturbo/

And to complete the circle, one issue of Stan Sakai’s Usagi Yojimbo features a story with a scene where a caricature of Scott Shaw! gets hit in the head with a fish. Repeatedly. :slight_smile:

That’s a good one! Had me laughing.

I don’t know if I can top it, especially since I can’t find my copy of Shakti-Man, actual Indian comic-book hero who has a lot of… shakti:

(from wordreference.com)

I think his name refers to the second definition of the word as it seems to be a childrens’ comic and he does have some super-powers. But it might also refer to his getting a lot (definition 1), what with the appeal of the masked hero combined with a purple spandex outfit complete with gold markings and funky Lotus insignia as well as a nicely groomed (if a bit heavy) moustache.

Can’t read it, since it’s in Hindi, but I do remeber actual transformation scenes as well as a bit about him taking the time to rescue an innocent child from the vice of chewing tobacco. Oh, and the art is right up there (down there?) with Super-Green Beret.

Random thought: Is this what Chris Tucker’s character in the Fifth Element is talking about?

There were superhero versions of Dracula and Frankenstein in the 60s that were embarrassingly awful. I think Myron Fass was the publisher. At least one of these books was produced by Carl Burgos, who created the Human Torch about 25 years earlier.

Jack Kirby, the Patron Saint of Comics, kept cranking stuff out after the germ of inspiration had left him. Devil Dinosaur was probably the worst, but there was some other awful stuff.

How could anyone forget “U.S. 1” a Marvel comic about a trucker with a CB reciever in his head. During the CB craze of the 70s this might have made sense, but this was the 80s. It was also, IIRC the comic that introduced Razorback, the hero in a pig suit, and his truck, the “Big Pig”

Then there is "Nightcat" Marvel did a tie in with some up and coming singer to write her into one of their comics as a superhero. Then they mad the mistake. Besides sending Stan The Man Lee on the promo appearances, they sent the girl herself. Dumb as a bag of hammers she was. Any fanboy illusions that potential readers might have had, were shattered whenever she attempted to speak, or do anythin else. At one point a talkshow host asked the camera man to zoom in on her eyes, which he thought attractive. So that the fans at home could get a good look, she proceeded to close her eyes and purse her lips. Not even smart enough to be a model. Thankfully both her music career, and the comicfaded from memory rather quickly.

Sweetums

What about “Devil Dinosaur”? It was the story of a Tyrannosaurus Rex (that was smart, and heroic, and colored red 'cus he stood too near a volcanic lava flame) and his sidekick furry apeman called “Moonboy.” A low, low, loooooowwwwwww point in the career of Jack Kirby.

I used to collect, and it got a bit out of hand. I started with spawn (and most of the image comice when image first started)…Ive got heaps of their “LIMITED EDITIONS” / “ASHCANS” / “GATEFOLD PRESSED COLOURED GOLD ONE-IN-FOUR” special covers.

I bought the crisis on infinite earth comics (all but 1 actually) and was completly lost (because the time line was before my…time!!!). That was hard reading - I vote that as worst comic…AND look where it got us…ZERO HOUR 10 years later to re-fix the already fixed DC universe.

re: Swamp Thing and Brother Power – Alan Moore could write about a pile of sh*t and leave you in tears questioning the values of society and leaving you drained. i.e. His Brother Power doesn’t count.

I still say that it needs to be kept to Krap put out by major houses (DC, Marvel, Atlas, DH, etc.) That’s why I didn’t count PC’s “Silver Star” by Jack Kirby. Cite: http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/silvstar.htm

I love these websites that mercilessly mock comics. Of course, you know who started it? That’s right: The Nazis!

I can top all of them.

“Street Poet Ray”.

Put out by Marvel in the early '90s and in large part was responsible for their financial troubles. “Prestige Format” book (think “Dark Knight Returns”) where each page was divided into four panels. In each panel was a bad stick drawing (looked like it was done by a talentless child with a learning disablity) and each panel had one verse of “street haiku” by a 40 year old guy who convinced…um…who was the CEO at the time? Jim Galton? that he spoke in da voice of da yoot of America.

With such “street haiku” as

Bald people sensitive
Without hair life tentative
Cut them break stop the jokes
Tasteless words hurt and provoke.

or

Some live right some live wrong
Some folks weak some really strong
World revolve yin and yang
Good and bad each choose their gang.

I’m not so sure that these were pressing issues for today’s yoot.

If you look [you can get an idea.

And some of his stands were bold beyond words. Why, he he took the daring position that abortion is a contriversial issue!!!

Baby Live. Baby Die
Abortion the great divide
Tempers Flare. Pro and Con
No one right if all are wrong

http://www.lib.siu.edu/~bfagan/spr2.jpg](http://www.lib.siu.edu/~bfagan/spr1.jpg)

Remeber, this was published by MARVEL in a high-quality, square bound $4.95(?) book!

Peter David once said it read like Dumb Hulk was writing it:

Hulk like beans!
Beans real good!
Yum Yum Yum!
Globalthermonuclear war bad.

Seriously. I’ve read The Green Team (rich kids solve problems with money–DC, about 1974), I’ve got both "Brother Power, THe Geek"s. I’ve got the issues of Captain Victory with Paranax, The Fightin’ Fetus (really!) and I’ve even read Marville and survived to tell the tale. But nothing tops Street Poet Ray for bad.

I did, I did! That was the Steel Brigade, which allowed you to fill out a questionnaire (plus pay a small fee) to get your own G.I. Joe figure and a personalized filecard. My code-name was “Hollowpoint,” but all I remember about my filecard was that “my logical mind loves a challenge.”

I wish I still had the filecard, but I do have my Steel Brigade figure, complete and in excellent condition, and the Steel Brigade patch. Yo Joe!

In the early '90s, when Hasbro was still producing G.I. Joe toys, but they had lost market share to newer fads like Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers, Hasbro tried a similar promotion: “Name Your Own COBRA.”

Geez, thirty-something posts and no one has mentioned Quasar yet. The bottom-ranked of Marvel’s sales for a reason.

UnuMondo

I liked Quasar. Mark Gruenwald rocked and it consistantly had decent stories.

To see some comic art that really smokes the big one, check out the current Catwoman.

Boy did they fuck up big time. The previous volume was quite fine, and they decided to suspend it for a few months and then start over from #1.

I gave it a year to improve, which was 11 months too many.

Eccch!

I have to second this. Captain Carrot was great.

No offense meant, but I have to object to this. Firstly, the last year or so of the previous Catwoman series sucked pretty badly (but not as badly as U.S 1). The current writing is actually good. Secondly, it actually has the best art of anything DC is publishing right now - the fact that it isn’t Jim Lee-shiny doesn’t make it bad, it makes it appropriate for the tone of the series. Unfortunately, DC is preparing to scrap the current style in favor of the previously-mentioned shininess, which will be a big loss.

FTR, Rob Liefeld’s attempt to do Captain America certainly belongs somewhere on this list, especially if you count the ripoff series he did after getting fired from the original gig.

… am I being wooshed here?

I was going to nominate a recent issue of JLA (some part of The White Rage), but almost all of the listed comics are better than mine. Especially that Street Poet Ray thing - all of the others I can see how I would never have heard of, but I’m surprised such a comparatively recent abomination has gone totally unnoticed by me. Now I wanna read it.