*Showgirls *has so much tiss and ass in it (actually it has a whole lot more; “In America, everybody is a gynecologist!”). When it shows on VHI the strippers are wearing digitized bras and bottoms. Kinda goofy looking.
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure…
When Bill’s Dad and Stepmom are in Bill’s room and toss the boys out, Ted says, “No your Dad’s going for it in your own room”
Which became "Now you’ve been thrown out of your own room’ What makes it so bad is that the voice is completely different.
Also, when Ted turns out to be alive, they hug, break the hug and say in unison “Fag”
This became, “Fool”
Heh. That’s the only reason to watch it on VH1. Cracks me up every time. 
[hijack]
I remember back in the early '80s when a local UHF station used to play Ice T’s “I’m Your Pusher” video, they blanked out the N word when he raps
so my buddy tapes the video and adds his own dub so it becomes
Almost as funny as the Showgirls CGI bikinis.
[/hijack]
Various comments:
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The edited line from The Big Lebowski is: “Do you see what happens when you fight a stranger in the Alps?” Not “kiss a stranger in the Alps” or “meet a stranger in the grass”. The clip is available online if anyone’s interested.
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Regarding Bruce Willis’ sign in Die Hard with a Vengence… During the filming, his sign actually did read “I hate everybody” because the producers were afraid that Bruce Willis really would get beaten up by the neighborhood folks for wearing the sign. So they actually digitally altered the sign for the theatrical release, but used the original version for TV\airlines, etc. No real point there, other than I thought it was interesting.
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Lastly, many of the movies discussed here were edited for TV shortly after their theatical release… 20 or 30 years ago. Smokey and the Bandit or The Breakfast Club might seem pretty tame compared to NYPD Blue, Nip Tuck or Over There, but apparently no one at any network is interested in re-editing those movies for air play. It’s stupid, yes, but I see the network’s economic point in doing so. Those types of movies are usually “rain delay fillers” anyway.
Am I actually the first to mention Pulp Fiction? I haven’t seen a TV broadcast of it but I know it’s been on network TV before and there can’t be much of a movie left. How would the network deal with Vincent buying a bag of heroin? Or Mia snorting it up her nose? Or Marcellus getting butt raped? I imagine all that and more was cut. How did Major Koontz hide the watch? In his ear?
I don’t imagine The Boondock Saints will ever be shown on TV. Actual dialog from the movie:
Not really dubbing, but first time Body Heat was on TV, the scene where Ned meets Matty’s friend Mary-Anne disappears presumably because of the opening lines:
Ned: Hey lady, ya wanna fuck?
Mary Ann: Gee, I don’t know. Maybe. This sure is a friendly town.
Since the scene is essential to understanding the ending of the movie it is the worst bit of editing I have ever seen.
I was recently in Tibet, where pirated DVDs are ubiquitous. They’re usually dubbed into Tibetan with a choice of Chinese or English subtitles. There’s some arcane process by which dubbing and subtitling is done - I suspect that the movie is originally subtitled in Chinese, then the script dubbed from the Chinese into Tibetan, and then the English subtitles are then translated from Tibetan back into English. Something like that.
The result is that the subtitles don’t often make much sense. My favourite of all the non-sequiteurs was when the staff in the Lhasa guesthouse where I was staying were watching Bruce Almighty. Morgan Freeman and Jim Carrey are in ‘heaven’, and they’re staring at each other for a while, then, according to the subtitles, Morgan says:Do you want to fuck? :eek:
I’ve seen it, on SpikeTV I think it was…
They don’t show Vincent buying herion, they just cut that out altogether, they don’t show Mia snorting in the bathroom, and I think they did something really, really weird - when she ODs, they don’t actually show her sniffing, you just see the top of her head, and she’s bent over something. You hear her, though. :smack:
Same with Marcellus, except they cut off half the screen, so all you see is the other guy in the room, watching - you don’t see Zed or Marcellus at all.
There’s no “oral pleasure” line from Fabianne. 
When Vincent’s gun goes off in the car, the screen just goes black, and there’s a weird Vincent “sound a like” (in other words: doesn’t sound like him at all) saying, “Oh, man, I just shot Marvin.”
They allow “bitch” in some places. But for some reason, in some places, they replace “bitch” with “babe”. :smack:
There’s no mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker. That whole scene is gone. There’s not even a racecar in red.
Some “fucks” are replaced with “freak”, or “freaker”. Hee.
And for the life of me, I don’t remember where Koontz kept the watch. My husband says they replaced it with “mouth”, and my brother says they replaced it with “butt”. :dubious:
On Spike, they put in one of the extended scenes, though, I guess to make up for all the good stuff they cut out. They put in the scene with Mia interviewing Vincent before their date.
On preview:
checks date This zombie thread is almost fully rejuvinated. :eek:
::: Moderator coughs gently for attention::::
Iacob, I want to point out that, before you posted to this thread, the last prior post was over three years ago. This is OK in Cafe Society, although not necessarily the best thing to do, but I want to mention that it would NOT be OK in other forums at the Straight Dope Message Board.
The main reason we don’t like reviving old threads is that some of the people who posted back then are no longer around, so can’t respond. It therefore seems unfair to make comments to which they cannot reply.
That’s not an issue in this case, since the thread is fun-and-games rather than debate or exchange of opinions, so I’m leaving it alone. I did just want to raise the point for everyone to see, and to understand that this is OK in this situation, but might not be OK in other situatons.
One of the key scenes in Cabaret is
When I saw it on TV, this was cut entirely. They were walking out of somewhere and we cut to commercial. When we came back, they were glaring at each other for no reason I could see. A friend later told me what the exchange was and…“Now I understand!”
Why the theological implications alone…
I hope there is some other way for them to learn about Christianity. Their understanding might be a little skewed, otherwise.
That is the funniest thing I’ve seen here in a long time.
I remember reading about the “Ashcroft” thing, which I think is absolutely hysterical, though I can see how it would be more than a bit distracting.
It’s not dubbing but foreign captioning on a bootleg: a slaughtering of Fellowship of the Rings…
The term Bad motor scooter is an American slang term and was a hit song for the band “Montrose” and was also done by Sammy Hagar.
I was about to post to this thread when I ran across the comment I was going to make, from 3 years ago. Hello surrealism!
To add to the VH1 list, I saw *Heavy Metal *there once. Not only did it replace a lot of the original songs for copyright reasons, but the entire DEN sequence is chopped up so bad that it was incomprehensible as a story.
It was also a lyric from the song Alley Oop by the Hollywood Argyles back in 1960.
On my DVD of Scarface there is a documentary which also speaks about the cut-for-tv version.
In this they replaced the dialogue
with
The funny thing is not just that pineapple is said in a Californian accent, while the rest is Tony Montana-speak, but that I think it is quite possible to get a scar eating pineapple.
One of my friends made a project for film school a while ago. It was when Reservoir dogs and Pulp fiction were big, and it was made it that style with similar dialogue.
After final edit we all realized it was just plain bad. So we decided to re-edit it into a parody. So we censored all the bad words. But we spliced in completely inane replacement words from the Brain of episodes of ‘Pinky and the Brain’ that one guy had taped.
He said the class nearly bust a gut, but the prof decided not to show it at the showing.
The first time I saw Blazing Saddles was on CBS when I was a kid and the N-word was used all the way through it. I know this since I taped it and watched it over and over. The campfire farts were replaced with horses neighing though.
And the song the church sings “Our town is turning into shit”, the offending word was replaced with a loud organ mischord, which IMHO was actually funnier.
Oh geez. I just realized I corrected someone from 3 years ago :smack: