Worst name for marquee

I’ve long decided that my mythical band’s name would be Special Guest. I don’t know if that would qualify as good-bad or bad-good or whatever. Mostly I’d be happy for the confusion that would hopefully result.

The Who?

please evacuate the area

Yes

The Band

I know a ceilidh band called “the night before”.

Under New Management

If you really want to lose money: SINGING FROG!

AAUGH! Look out behind you!

No idea

NEEDLE EXCHANGE CLINIC

(Actually, now that I think about it, that sounds like a cool band name!)

This is for the Byrds.

STD CLINIC

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING

Or, to go another direction:

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BAND CONCERT

AMATEUR HOUR

HIGH SCHOOL TALENT SHOW

Not if there are Stray Cats around.

Three Dog Night

Sketch comedy clip about bad marquee names.

BED BUG FUMIGATION
ASBESTOS REMOVAL
CARROT TOP

– edited to add this lower-case text in order to have text in all caps

OUT OF BUSINESS

VISIT US AT OUR NEW LOCATION, 2 MILES SOUTH

…and the most effective:

CHARLIE SHEEN TONIGHT

Would Charlie Sheen, Carrot Top, and the Dave Matthews Band bring in 3 times the audience, or one third?

!!