Every once in a while, I try to think of the worst name (for a movie, band or performer) that could show up on a marquee. Some of best-worst I’ve thought of are:
CLOSED FOR REPAIRS
CONDEMNED
NO SHOW
as well as (for bar bands)
FREE BEER
BYOB
Your ideas?
Free admission
Steal This Movie
Barenaked Ladies
There used to be a lingerie store near where I used to live. They always had a sign that said “50% off all lingerie.” I always thought that they’d do much better if they changed it to “Our lingerie is half off.”
…which reminds me of the old joke about the couple who froze to death at the drive-in. They went to see “Closed for the Winter.”
The British movie PRICK UP YOUR EARS had a run of vandals changing the last word in the title on the marquee to ARSE.
IIRC the title was chosen by the author with this potential rearrangement of letters in mind.
My husband a good one, but for the stage manager, not the marquee…
::curtain opens::
"Ladies and Gentlemen…
GOOD NIGHT!"
**Closed Until Further Notice
Private Party
Theater Seats for Sale
Indoor Flea Market**
This Space For Rent
Your Ad Here
Super Discounts at Macy’s
$200 Cover Charge
No rearrangement is necessary for the double entendre.
I had a guitar teacher who played in a band called “Live Sex.” They thought that would bring out the horn dogs.
There was a comic on Letterman once saying that the Spanish-language cinema in his area was always showing the same movie. Something called “Siempre Tres Peliculas.”
No movie
come in and stare
at the blank screen
Did it?
There’s a band called Live that did reasonably well. I’ve always believed that every record store clerk mis-filed their albums under the delusion that the album title was the band’s name.
If you saw their name on a marquee, wouldn’t you think that they hadn’t finished putting up the letters?
Huh, could’ve sworn I posted here. Anyway, there’s a band around here called “Local Nobodies”. You kinda do a double-take when you see that on a marquee:
PLAYING TONIGHT
LOCAL NOBODIES
How about:
DEAF KARAOKE NIGHT
COUNCIL AGM
CLOSED FOR LEPROSY MEETING
Dave Matthews Band
