Some of these stories, like salinqmind’s in particular, I totally want to know the end of the story. Was she really happy with her young lover?
And I will entertain offers too, in return for not posting the lyrics to “Wives and Lovers”.
raspberry hunter: sorry, wish I knew how it worked out with the runaway wife/younger man. The ex-husband and his kids moved not long after, to go live near his mother, and I heard he remarried, and that’s all I got.
I am someone who talked and talked and talked to a woman who should have made up her mind to leave me and the child, and didn’t- so after many many many horrific scenes and examples, I eventually gave up on my own vows and filed for divorce. It was a great decision, and now I am with a woman who is the only mother my child remembers!
There was no cheating, that I am aware of, and I don’t know that the ex is/was actually a psycho, but she made lots of really odd bad decisions- basically she just seemed to want to be supported but not to be a parent or a partner… It got old, after a while… And she hasn’t tried to see the child in nearly two years now, and only once a year, if it was easy, before that…
Sounds like you made the right decision in an identifiably-dysfunctional situation.
For the guy in my OP (and of course every family has tremendous amounts of below the water iceberg stuff that’s not visible), I never heard or saw any of that – both were well-employed, kids are great and loved by both parents, nice house, good circle of friends. Only tension I ever picked up on was on her (I thought somewhat unfair) dissatisfaction with his workaholic ways (suffice to say that her pay in a “fun” career would not cover the lifestyle that she, not demanded, but willingly accepted for her and the kids, so I never thought “you work too much” was a totally fair gripe). And from what I can tell, that was not the nut of her stated reasons for leaving – she really did focus on, “I really think I married the wrong person” (which is probably smart if she was dead serious on ending it because complaints about working too much could always be negotiated around, schedules rearranged, but “I don’t really want to be with you” is hard to have an answer for).
The chance that he hadn’t already met/started romancing wife #2 when he made his “I am not Dad material” speech? Pretty close to zero, I’d say.
I agree with you 110%, but I threw the story out there anyway because it was so over-the-top that I thought it was worth sharing.
I met the guy and his wife 3 or 4 times, before they had their kid—This was not a young couple, they were several years older than I was at the time, I would guess both in their early-mid 30’s.
Still, no matter how it actually went down, I think just about everyone would agree that ol’ Larry was a real piece of work…
I guess this depends on the situation.
My dad cheated. My mom drank. Yet I think it would’ve been much worse for me if they had divorced. I would’ve spent half my childhood in the home of a woman I viciously hated, my dad’s girlfriend, and a father I couldn’t forgive (I still can’t). The other half of my childhood would’ve been spent with a bitter drunk.
I think I was happier having to deal with them both at the same time having one home instead of having to switch off between the two, and never having any stability at all. Besides, I know staying with that bitch of a girlfriend would’ve led to either my suicide or violence against her on my part.
I think living with two quietly unhappy parents would’ve been heaven to me.
Heh.
This, I have felt, should be mandatorily read or played at every wedding.