This really belongs here 'cause I can barely define my own question.
A guy I know just separated from his wife of 20-some years. They have two kids under 10. And the reason his wife (who totally initiated it) gave was nothing overtly emotional or hateful, nor had they been fighting a lot or encountering functional “issues” in the relationship, or with the kids.
Rather, it was that, she said, she just thought she married the wrong guy, too young, and wanted to revisit that decision and hit reboot. Which is a pretty big (politely delivered, though I’m sure there was some bickering as she got more and more dissatisfied with things) F-you – effectively, “I really wish I had waited around to see if I met someone better than you, and it’s worth it to break up our family to go back to Go.” As one of my foreign friends says in her charming broken English – that’s ouch.
Anyone else have a oh-so-polite it’s-not-you-it’s-just-that-I-can-do-better-than-you tale of being rationally and calmly dumped well into a marriage in favor of the spouse playing the field again at 40+? “I’d rather be alone in the short-run than with you” is never easy to hear but after that long . . . gotta be a blindside.