I went to a “mystery theatre” dinner where the plot revolved around people who wanted to make a musical of Planet of the Apes. At one point they asked for volunteers. If they had asked me to sing I certainly would have started singing “Dr Zaius Dr Zaius!”
o/ Rock me, Dr. Zaius! o/
Falco should have been so genius…
Hit the Road, Jack! a tune-filled, dance-happy adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s 1950’s semi-fictional exploration of the freedom and longing that is a core part of human nature. Don’t miss the show-stopping duet with Jack and Alan Ginsburg singing, “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix.”
A friend from way back had in idea for a PunkrockOpera verson of
Oedipus Rex called… “I’m a Mother-f#cker.” I still think it has potential 
SLING BLADE: THE MUSICAL
To the tune of Ebony & Ivory:
“Friends like you and potted meat
go together as sure as mustard’s neat
to eat on your biscuits
Oh lord oh lord
Ain’t Doyle mean?”
Miracle Worker: The Musical (or Helen’s-A-Poppin’)
Annie: It’s a word Helen!
Helen: WAH-WAH!
Annie: Now sing it out, yellin’!
Helen: WAH-WAH!
Annie: What’s your fav’rite melon?
Helen: WAH-WAH!
Annie: I’m gonna drop my pail in… this
Helen: WAH-WAH!
Annie: What you can’t get in Hell- is…
Helen: WAH-WAH!
Annie: That little dog waggin’ his tail is… (a Chi-)
Helen: WAH-WAH!
Annie/Helen: WAH-WAH! WAH-WAH! WAAAAAAHWAAAAAAH!!!
Helen: Also known as H-2-0! Yassuh!
Hitler The Musical (or This One Time, in Mein Kampf)
Who’s the German Corporal Artist who’s the Charisma Machine with the Nazi Parties?
DOLPH!
Who’s the Ger-Man, who’s gonna lead the way for his fellow Ger-MENs…
DOLPH!
This Corporal Schicklegruber, he’s ein bad muter…
RUHIG SIE!
Hey, liebschen… I’m only talkin’ about Dolph!
MUHAMMAD THE MUSICAL
(To the tune of Beverly Hillbillies themesong)
“Let me tell you all the story of a man named Mo-
hammed of the Quraysh, lived 14 hundred years ago-
then one day he was settin’ in a cave
and the Angel Jabril came by to have a rave…
“Recite!” he said, “Pure Arabic, Medina Trailmix…”
Well the first thing y’kno…”
[At this point the theater was bombed and the cast went into hiding and thus it was never completed and the libretto and music lost to history]
IN COLD BLOOD: THE MUSICAL
“Oh there’s nothin’ halfway
about the Kansas way to treat you
if we treat you, which we may not do at all.
There’s a Kansan kind, a very… HOLY CRAP! The Clutter family’s dead!”
“Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’m… a homo and I’m from New York to write a book!
Bout the killing spree
I’m on bended knee
all you people tell me what you knowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!”
"Dear Officer Dewey, we’re goin’ to hang
it’s not like we din’t cooperate we both up and sang
society dealt us a bad stinkin’ life
that’s why we killed the farmer and his wife (and his kids)
And his kids, and his kids, and their teenaged kids
that is why we did the things we did…
“Strange dear, but Tru dear,
when I’m close, to you dear
your lies fill the air
so pathological are you, I swear…”
Mandingo: the Musical
Songs include I Love the Smell of Miscegenation in the Mornin’, In Here You The Massa, and Slave to your Love.
Million Dollar Broadway Baby
{to the tune of Shipoopy}
"Now a woman who’ll fight
with another gal she
is anything but girly
and a woman who wins
her first time in the rang
ain’t a Temple or a Shirley
[spoiler]But a woman who falls
into a chair
head tween the ropes
feet in the air
she’s the gal he’s glad he manages
she’s his Mo cuishle
Mo cuishle, Mo cuishle, Mo cuishle
the scrappy whitetrash gal
Mo cuishle, Mo cuishle, Mo cuishle
such a shame she fell[/spoiler]
Yes, yes, I know. That’s why I posted it. Slight Woosh here, I think.
I’d pay to watch that. I would.
I Spit on Your Grave?
Night: the Musical.
Daniel
Saving Private Ryan - The Musical
90% of the cast would be able to go home after the opening number.
So will 90% of the audience!
Since I guess operas don’t count (I’m thinking “Nixon in China” or Einstein on the Beach"), my nomination is the musical adaptation of “Breakfast at Tiffanys” that flopped, thankfully - It starred Mary Tyler Moore (but at least no Mickey Rooney).
White Supremacy: The Musical!
Songs include I Got A Trailer Full of Hate, Like a Rockwell Paintin’ Christmas (George Lincoln, that is), If English Was Good Enough For Jesus Then It’s Good Enough for Mexicans and A Homeland For Whites (Other than the one our ancestors left to come here because Whites couldn’t stand each other).
The Vagina Acapellas
It’s the Vagina monologues, now with 80% more techno music!
ANNIE 3: IT’S A HARD KNOCK HOT-FLASH- Annie hits the big 5–0 and has to battle to get Daddy Warbucks (newly bust from the dot-com crash) to admit (in music) his need for adult undergarments.
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: THE MUSICAL
Includes the breakaway hit-
Jack, I swear
You may not have thought I care
but my whole life I wanted to share
all the things that we did up there
I ain’t just talkin’ shit
I all the time want to get
back up there and get lit
and then I will take my spit and…
(Well, you get the idea.)
MY FAIR LADY: 21ST CENTURY STYLE
When “confirmed bachelor” Henry Higgins makes a bet with his rival that he can teach lap dancer Lonnie Doolittle to “butch it up” enough to join the Chippendales, hilarity ensues.
SUNSET BLVD 2
Norma’s back from the Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity Ward of the new Norma Desmond Wing of the Betty Ford Center, and she’s ready to resume her career with the help of new down-on-his-luck-writer-turned-rentboy William S. Burroughs. Hilarity ensues when during a drug trip William tries to shoot an apple off of Buster Keaton’s head and Norma finds the world of self-financed indie arthouse films.
Actually, I’ve seen an Asterix stage play, which included a few songs. Mostly the plot came from {i]Asterix & The Great Divide* with some bits from other books.
Okay, my choice, {i]Oddesy, The Musical*
They Kidnapped Helen so we went to wars
Against the Trojans, made a wooden horse.
And now it’s over I’ll go back by sea
I’m going back home to Penelope,
Greece is the word.
Psycho the musical.
On the other hand, would it be any worse a concept than Sweeney Todd?
Of course, some of the strongest ultraviolence in the film is set to an operatic overture…
(If someone did make one… I’d want to see it)
Oh, and to reply to the OP…
Schindlers List, the Musical.
There was one, actually. It was called Home Sweet Homer, starred Yul Brynner as Odysseus, had the same composer (Mitch Leigh) and female lead (Joan Diener [aka Mrs. Mitch Leigh]) as Man of La Mancha, and closed after one night. I think until Carrie and Shogun it was one of the biggest flops in musical history due to the amount invested.
I just e-mailed this to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s company.
Andrew Lloyd Webber Presents:
Manimal!