worst thing you've ever done

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life? For me, it was probably the time (nearly 20 years ago) that I pissed in a guy’s beer when he left the room briefly. When he came back in he picked up the beer and started chugging it down, taking a couple of big gulps before realizing something was wrong. I feel bad about now, even though he was a complete jerk.

I remember the story of when the Sex Pistols put some “white stuff” on someones sandwich. It may have been an urban legend tho.

What the Sex Pistols did do was shit in the in-tray in a record company office. Not an urban legend.

Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green

The worst thing I ever did was :
I was supposed to give my elderly father a kidney, see, his kidneys blew up when I selfishly refused to stop & let him go pee…and as they were about to start the operation, I fled, leaving my father there on his deathbed. I then ran to the docks, and boarded this tramp steamer…wally, scott and daniel were all there ( it was after all a tramp steamer ) and then I did some really terrible stuff with all three of them down in the cagro hold…
Nevermind, that was the simpsons last night and the dream I had after.

The worst thing I ever did involves a bunch of Heinekens, a car and a house. At least it was unintentional though.

The day is September 17, 1980. The scene is Northwest Ohio, Toledo specifically. I was on my way home from an evening of heavy drinking at a local bar. I remember stopping for a red light at the intersection of Monroe St. and Douglas Rd. And then…? The next thing I recall is being yanked out of my car by a very irate police officer and getting the cuffs slapped on me. Looking around in an alcoholic stupor, I see about half a dozen cop cars with flashing lights and I realize I’m actually inside a house. The bizarre thing is the house was only about 200 yards from the intersection; I couldn’t have been traveling very fast.

The story told by the cops when I went to court showed I had actually been in the front yards of a couple houses on the other side of the street and then dove across 4 lanes of pavement before bouncing over the curb and up a sidewalk. I had hit the porch steps and launched my car over the foundation of the house and into the bedroom of an 86 year old woman. When I finally came to rest the car was up to the rear wheel wells inside the house. Aluminum siding and various building products lay strewn about her yard and the neighbor’s. It looked like Satan himself had taken the world’s largest baseball bat and swung mightily at a lumberyard, connecting soundly.

At least no one was seriously hurt, the only injuries being to myself from the beating the police officers gave me. Never try and pick a fight with the cops when you are handcuffed. All I can say is I’m very glad the local DUI laws were pretty lenient in those days.

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

Wow, UncleBeer.

Hence the name, eh?

You win.

Most common question I ask: “What?”
Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?”

Nope, the name came much later. I am pretty careful about drinking and driving now. I guess I learned a tough lesson relatively easily.

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

I took naked pictures and incriminating emails from someone who had wronged me and made a web page of them, with email contact information and then posted it on several porn pages and search engines.

“She’s nothin but a little lyin’ ass bitch… I know she says she loves you but you know she don’t care…”

What’s the URL?

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

Maybe if you’re good I’ll share it :wink:

“She’s nothin but a little lyin’ ass bitch… I know she says she loves you but you know she don’t care…”

The worst thing I ever did would get me arrested faster than you can blink, so I really can’t tell you.

Hey Lumpy, it’s worse than what you admitted to here? http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001748.html

Ty Webb: I like you Betty.
Danny Noonan: That’s Danny, sir.

Okay, move me down to second place. Lumpy, please don’t share that particular story with us.

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

I snuck into the computer room with a coworker and had hot monkey sex right there on the main frame - during work hours.

Not the worse thing I have done, but I’m not admitting to the others.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

hot monkey sex?

i thought i was the only one that used that term.

wait, do i know you?

Thw rost thing i ever did was make a really stupid racist comment to three black guys on my football team. I totally meant it as a joke, but as soon as it came out i realised I’d only made myself sound like ignorant white trash. I apologised profusely, but it made me feel like shit for days.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

If you need a graphic solution, http:\ alk.to\Piglet

In high school, sprinkled a rival’s french class chair with bleach so her cute tight little black skirt dissolved into shreds. heehee.


I’ll say the same in this thread as I did in the other: PLEASE tell us we’re not getting it right here. Or it’s a joke. Or something. Shed some light on this, and by God, don’t get into the details. It’s just that I would like to know whether someone finds it humourous to joke about serious shit like incest, or that he’s the Real McCoy and wanted to shag his sister… Either way, you won’t look good in my book. But I can at least live with a poor sense of humour.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Hey now, let’s not get judgemental. I know several people who “played doctor” with their siblings growing up, usually just before or at the early end of adolescence. It doesn’t mean anything. (none of them actually had sex, that I know of.)

If you want gross, I’ll tell you gross. An attorney friend of mine represented a woman in a custody case… she had 5 children, all with her father. Who was also her grandfather. The guy had sex & children with his daughter, and then did it again with HER daughter! EWWWW!

“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
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