Would a giant snake (python, anaconda) be a good "body removal" device?

First of all, let me state that “I don’t need an answer fast”. Just wonderin’, is all.

I’m thinking of a “serial killer” scenario. The guy enjoys killing people for fun and profit – gotta have a hobby, right? He is also an amateur herpetologist with a giant snake as a pet. Let’s say that he has somehow acquired that elusive “30-foot-plus” snake that cryptozoologists have dreamed about all these years. A thirty-seven foot behemoth anaconda, easily capable of swallowing the heftiest man alive.

My question is – Is this a good way of disposing of the evidence? I’ve heard that snakes have very powerful digestive juices. Would there be much left over in the enormous eunectes’ excrement?

Any info would be vastly appreciated!

My understanding is that snakes like this have a really slow digestive system. So if you feed a corpse to a snake, the remains are going to be inside the snake for a couple of weeks. Pretty awkward if the police show up to your house during that time as part of the murder investigation and notice the bulge in your snake’s mid-section. All they need is a warrant and a veterinarian to recover the evidence.

Also, some snakes won’t eat a animal they didn’t kill themselves. So you can’t feed them a corpse.

On the plus side, while smaller snakes don’t digest bones, large pythons digest everything in a body.

Hi, I took care of a Rainbow Boa for three years and my experiences would seem to say no to that idea. The snake was a picky eater and the owner was able to get the snake to eat frozen rats that were “warmed” in warm water after thawing in the refrigerator. The owner would hold the warmed rat by the tail and jiggle the rat in front of the supposedly hungry snake - three weeks since last feeding. The snake would either strike and consume the rat or not.

I resorted to feeding the snake live, medium, rats as I couldn’t get the snake to take the dead rat.

I can’t imagine a snake consuming a dead hunk of human.

Now pigs on the other hand…

Good Luck!

He should be a pig farmer, not a herpetologist.

Six pieces, 16 pigs.

Apparently, anything else marks you as an amateur.

Also, if you need to bury a body, don’t bury it flat. Everybody will know that’s a body. Dig a hole vertically, like you were going to put a post in there. For good measure, drop a dead dog on top of it, to fool the cadaver dogs.

The things you learn, being a mystery and heist fan.

As stated, they take forever to digest someone. You’d need a farm of pythons if you’re a discerning serial killer. A bunch of pigs are cheaper and raise fewer questions when buying.

Depends on the snake. Some don’t hesitate around dead pinkies, and some don’t eat live prey (or end up becoming food themselves!). Going along with their slow digestive system, snakes don’t eat as often as mammals, and go go days between meals.

Sharks or hyenas would be my top picks for the job.

With frik’n lazer beams on their heads?

How about alligators or crocs? They don’t seem too fussy WRT alive or dead.

I’m Being Swallowed By A Boa Constrictor-Peter, Paul and Mary

They stuff their prey underwater and let it decay for a few days, to make it easier to eat. That means it’s still around & discoverable evidence for the cops all that time.

All ectotherms ( including sharks ) have the same problem of slow digestion times. It makes for a fairly efficient critter in that one big meal lasts a good long time. But from a criminal standpoint not so great as evidence lingers.

The suggestion of hyenas on the other hand, specifically the Spotted Hyena, has some real merit. Fastish mammalian metabolism, super-strong jaws to grind up any and all bones and a super-efficient digestive system to reduce everything to powder, long lives, easily maintained in captivity. Probably even better than pigs. Also have been known to be reasonably sociable with human handlers ;).

Shel Silverstein wrote the lyrics. IIRC, one of his collections of verse was banned from some school libraries because of that poem.

Really? Of all the poems they could have banned Shel for, they picked that one?

Yah, makes sense regarding gators and crocs. I was going to suggest a school of piranha, but again one would be left with evidence (bones, teeth) laying around.

Of course, you could have the piranha do part of the job, then feed the bones to the gators.

We sang it in preschool (late 1970’s).

I don’t fully understand the speed of digestion complaints. I think the average serial killer can pace herself well enough to let the snake finish each body.

And you could pass the bulge of as whatever its legitimate food is. I think it would be hard to get a warrant to examine the stomach contents of a live animal.

OP should go for it!

Piggy Palace Good Times Society

I like the crocodile better than my suggested hyenas and sharks. Crocs can swallow hole and breakdown bones.

Make sure your dog door is large enough for your accomplice get away while you hold the police off at the front door.

For partial removal, I’d go with chilli and a nice Chianti.

Yeah, and if there actually was a snake that big (37 foot anaconda), a regular-size human wouldn’t be that big of a meal, I’m thinking. I was aware of the slow-digesting metabolism of such an ectotherm – I’m thinking if the killer only struck three or four times a year, it wouldn’t be so much of a big deal for the snake.

By amazing coincidence, I was just reading this really good book about deadly animals, and it seems that snakes that swallow large prey don’t seem to be very good at estimating what is a reasonable size they can engulf and wind up leaving rather than dining - or else they give up on something they killed for unknown reasons.

Maybe one’s snake if really hungry might prefer live wriggling prey like its owner.