Would I - a soon to be ex-New Yorker - like living in Houston, Texas?

In My Humble Opinion
1

OK, the gist of it is this - I grew up in Buffalo, NY and then moved to NYC when I was 24. I have lived in the NYC area for 20 years continuously now. I shuttled around to several different neighborhoods, including a few months living just across the Hudson in NJ. For the last eight years, I’ve lived in Brooklyn.

But the time has come to leave! On Facebook, it’s become very trendy for folks to actually brag about moving away from NYC and smugly pointing out the reasons they’re going. I won’t; I have enjoyed living here despite the obvious difficulties. I will be sad to go; but admittedly this city is just increasingly harder and harder to just get by, let alone prosper. And a whole lot of what I really liked about the city is rather quickly being swept away. I am also in my middle-40’s and am realizing that if I ever do want to try living somewhere else, I really ought to get a move-on and do it.

One option is to move back to my hometown Buffalo, which is actually on an upswing lately, experiencing a revitalization (and numerous fellow NYC-ers are moving there, unable to afford the rents in even the outer-boroughs anymore.) I am not ruling it out; but I do feel a need to experience something brand new.

I also have a brother In Philadelphia, who has offered to let me crash on his couch for a few weeks if I should choose to move there. I have visited Philly often (brother and in-laws live there), and I do like the town. But I have no special affinity for it. Also, I have no job leads there or network there, so it might be a little hard to find work I want to do there.

And then there’s Houston. I have never even visited Houston, but I have a somewhat seriously job prospect there. At least, I have friends I’ve networked there who have told me I’d be perfect for jobs at their company if I chose to relocate there. My friend (who grew up there, before moving to NYC for many years and then moving back) really likes living there, says it’s a pretty live-able city and not at all like the stereotype of Texas - redneck Tea Party members toting their hand-guns around in pubic and yelling “YEEE-HAAA!”
On the outset, it may sound like a pretty radical move, but it intrigues me none-the-less. And I do really find myself kind of drawn to it. But I do have some questions I’d like to float before the Teeming Millions from the Houston area before I dive in:

  1. Would I be able to get around without a car? Of course, being a long-time NYC-er, I don’t even have a license let alone a car. That would change, of course, as soon as possible. But for at least a few months, I’d be car-less. Could I manage it?

  2. What would a decent, cost-of-living salary be? How much money would I have to gross per year to afford my rent, bills, stash a little away for retirement and still get to (occasionally) do social things?

  3. One big concern is that I’m gay. I moved to NYC in large part to live an openly gay life without the endless concern about being jumped by fag bash-ers. Of course, the whole world is a lot more chill about the issue now, but still - Texas doesn’t have a good rep for being tolerant. If, just for example, I happened to walk down the street hand-in-hand with another guy, would that be an “issue”? Or more likely, if I was at the office and I mentioned I was dating a guy, would I get awkward looks? Just to be clear, I am not some militant crusader by any stretch, but I don’t like the idea of having to be “discreet” about my life either.

  4. I know it would take me a little time to say “Hyouu-ston” (instead of “House-ton” like the street in downtown Manhattan.) If I ever slipped and mispronounced it, would people want to kill me? (Now don’t laugh - based on the reactions of many tourists I’ve encountered, this is a much bigger deal than you would imagine.)

Those are the three big issues on my mind right now. If I think of anything else (and people respond to this), I’ll add to the list. But anyway, anyone lives in / has lived in the Houston area who might want to weigh in on this, I’d like to hear your thoughts. (BTW, yes I did ask my friends’ opinions about these questions, but I want to hear as many POV’s as possible about this.)

Thanks!

2

Getting around without a car will be very difficult, Houston is very spread out. If you are very lucky and can find a place to live in walking distance of your job, or on a easy Metro route it’s doable. My wife did it for many years but had friend drive her when going out for entertainment.

Houston has a large gay population including our current mayor. We’re closer to Austin in attitude than rural Texas. Not that we don’t have our share of jerks. But I can’t imagine this being a problem. But a local LGBT group might have a more accurate opinion.

The biggest thing to consider is the weather in the summertime. From June to September it’s hot and sticky. Sometimes blast furnace hot. Make sure you can deal with that. Traffic is the next issue, for when you do learn to drive.

3

I’m not sure if you can go more than a couple days in Houston without a car. Houston has a very large physical area and to quote the article below “has always been a car city.” There are busses and rail but, my understanding is that they only serve limited areas, so you would have to choose your housing wisely, and in relation to your job.

http://www.houstonpress.com/2014-03-20/news/houston-traffic/

4

It’s hard to say for sure if you’d like Houston, there are a lot of transplants here, and some people love it and some people hate it and there are a lot of people in between. I’ve lived in Houston for 8 years now and I love it.

  1. Getting around without a car would be very difficult, unless your home and office are very close together. I only know one person without a car, and he bikes to work and often begs for rides to other places. There are buses, taxis you can call, and if you make friends quickly probably rides you can get.

  2. I’m not sure what a decent cost of living salary would be. The cost of things is cheaper in Houston than in New York. Rent has been going up but I’m sure it’s still way cheaper than New York.

  3. I’m a straight woman, so I couldn’t say from personal experience, but I don’t think being gay should be a big issue here. I do see gay couples out sometime without people making a big deal of it. There is a big gay pride parade, and there are gay clubs. We are the biggest city in the US to have a gay mayor. For your office I don’t know, it probably depends on your industry and your specific office. I’d guess for most offices, it won’t be an issue, but you might have bad luck and have an office with homophobic coworkers.

  4. If I heard someone say “House-ton” I wouldn’t be angry, I would just be confused at first. I don’t think it would be a big deal at all, unless you made it a big deal about being from New York and how New York is so much better than Houston, and it doesn’t sound like you’ll be doing that.

5

If it’s for a few months, you might be able to wing something expensive (taxis?), but you will most likely need a car in Houston.

It’s somewhat possible to get by without one. One of my friends does own a car, but primarily bikes to work. He still needs the car to get around for other stuff.

Even that much requires getting lucky in your place of business, your home, and social circles.

Basically, a 10-20 mile drive is not long at all. And many commuters have one way drives of an hour, even in reasonable traffic.

Hard to say. There’s plenty of online cost of living comparisons. But you can live pretty well on $50-$80k a year. It depends on what you mean by “well”.

Rents have been up in the last few years with the shale boom, but they’re still much cheaper than NYC or Chicago or the like. It depends, somewhat, on where in town you want to live. A luxury midtown apartment is naturally going to cost more than a more modest place outside the 610 loop.

As anywhere, depends on the office and the neighborhood. If it’s a larger company, I would be surprised if it were an issue. Believe it or not, professionals generally like to act professionally.

As for the city at large, the Montrose district is well known as being the gay district with plenty of gay bars, clubs, coffee houses, and such.

That’s not to say there aren’t assholes, but they’re less prevalent in the city than in the rural areas outside of town. I’m not gay, so I can’t comment directly, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you still saw or heard things that might make you uncomfortable, even in the city.

Don’t forget, our current mayor (Annise Parker) is the first open lesbian mayor of a large US city. Yes, her election did bring out some of the nastier elements, but her sexuality was, for the most part, a non-issue. Her more liberal stances were more of an issue with voters than her sexuality. Even the announcement of her marriage (out of state, of course) a couple years ago was met with mostly a collective yawn.

No, but you may get corrections and funny looks.

The reputation of Texas as a conservative bastion is a tad overstated. It’s true, but the big cities themselves (Dallas/Fort Worth, San Antonio/Austin, Houston) are modern American cities with significant liberal enclaves. A bit more conservative than some cities but not totally like the stereotypes.

6

No. Think football. In your head, imagine the chrome-domed, star-branded brain-saw-down that is [del]The Cybermen[/del] The Cowboys. Now, imagine you are at a BBQ and while everyone is screaming “Whoo-Hoo!” in your mind, for the love of your soul you will always be screaming “F-CK YOU!!!”

Then again, “Like” is a relative word…

Just don’t pronounce it like “Houston Street” down-town (pronounced How’s Ton in NYC).
Pronounce “Houston” like “Hughes-Ton” (Pretend its Opie’s fat flabby 55 year old ass)

7

Having lived in the Houston area, I’d amend that to “from late May through September” it’s unpleasantly hot (and consistently so; there are very few breaks in the heat except for a short time when tropical storms come through) and soggy, sweat-inducing humidity is commonplace at other times of the year as well. It is also typical for droughts to alternate with floods. Make sure that where you are going to live is not flood-prone.

The air quality probably isn’t worse than New York’s, but neither is it significantly better.

Ability to at least briefly get by without a car will depend a lot on where the job is.

There are plenty of attractions and good restaurants.

8

I’m a New Yorker who’s spent a lot of time in Houston and likes the city. Here’s my observations.

Houston is a driving city. You will be able to get around some but not having a car is going to inconvenience you quite a bit.

I can’t give you specific figures but Houston is cheaper than New York in general and a lot cheaper than New York City.

I’m straight but I know Houston has an open gay community.

Houston is full of people who came from somewhere else. If you slip up and mispronounce the name “because that’s the way we said it in New York” they’ll be amused but not hostile.

The climate is a lot different than New York. February in Houston is like October in New York - you might have some days when it gets chilly but you’ll also have days when you’re going outside in shirtsleeves. And the rest of the year is hotter. And it’s not a dry heat - Houston gets lots of rain.

You can get great seafood, great barbecue, and great Mexican food all over Houston. But you won’t be able to get any great pizza.

9

A few people have already mentioned the summer heat but I’m going say it again. The heat can be brutal. I just backspaced over several lines trying to describe it but it can’t be properly characterized in text. You just have to experience Houston’s unique combination of heat and humidity to appreciate it. I don’t know your line of work but if they frown upon your showing up to work a hot sweaty mess then your first priority will be getting a car with good AC. And you are already running out of time. As we say here in Texas, Summer is coming.

10

Come for the TexMex plates, stay for the mosquito bites.

11

I was born and raised in Queens, so I feel qualified to confirm the following things others have told you:

  1. Houston is hot, and worse still, it is the farthest thing imaginable from a “dry” hot. It is the muggiest, most oppressively humid place I’ve ever been to. Even in the winter!

  2. The city of Houston itself is not a redneck backwater. It’s the largest city in the USA with an openly gay mayor, and she was the (relatively) CONSERVATIVE candidate! And downtown Houston has all the fine foods and artsy scenes a New Yorker might be inclined to miss. The SUBURBS of Houston have all the cowboys and rednecks you fear, however.

  3. There are some neighborhoods in which you could get around without a car, but not many, and those neighborhoods are expensive to live in. Most likely, you’ll need a car… but housing is so much cheaper than in New York, you’re liable to come out ahead.

12

In my experience, you either loooove living in TX or you haaaaate living in TX. Very rarely is there someone who could take it or leave it. As one of the ones who haaaates living in TX I won’t give you a laundry list of reasons not to move there, but I will strongly encourage you to take a trip to check it out before you move. I would actually say take a couple trips over the course of the year so you’ve experienced Houston in the worst of the summer as well as some other seasons.

13

I moved to Ithaca (now live in Corning) from the midwest in 2013 and it was a **great **fit for me. I was always way too liberal (socially) for the place where I was born. I’m very happy here now.

My sister moved to Texas from the midwest in ~2011. It’s not a great fit for her, and we have pretty similar personalities (she’s a humanist lesbian). I’ve visited, and it would **not **be a great fit for me. Texas is *way *conservative. The summers are ridiculously hot. And the politics don’t agree with me. It’s a place where you’re free to be yourself, as long as you’re not gay or non-white or non-Christian. The only positive I can think of is the lack of snow. (Aside: my mom is from WV and my family tree is 85% redneck, so I’m not just bullshitting here. I know of what I speak.)

But everyone’s different. If your personal politics/religious views align with the area, or if you’re comfortable hiding those things about yourself while being subjected to southern nosiness, you might be able to make it work. Also, Texas is a very large state, so maybe you could check out a liberal pocket. I think Austin elected a gay mayor recently.

People in New York are open-minded in ways that continually surprise me–half the people on staff at the bank where I work are unmarried by choice (this would be called “living in sin” down south) and/or childfree by choice and/or unreligious/humanist/atheist. But in more conservative areas, these choices become fodder for the rumor mill and drive-by-passive-aggressive-guiltings. I think if you move to Texas, you will be continually surprised by the sickly-sweet veneer covering up judgmental moral- and religious-based rudeness.

Take this as you will, but I’d rather move to a country where I don’t speak the language than live in the bible belt.

14

Over the past couple of decades Texas has been extremely pro business. The “Texas Triangle” (a triangle formed by Dallas / Fort Worth to the North, San Antonio / Austin to the West, and Houston to the East) has experienced rapid growth. Many large companies have relocated to this area, along with a very large number of transplants from other states. The result is a surprisingly diverse and cosmopolitan culture within that triangle that feels substantially different from the Texas outside of that triangle. The loud mouthed Texan you complained about above does exist, but if you work in an office you may not see them very often. Homosexuality is normal to most people now so I don’t think you have anything to worry about. No doubt there will be some who complain but they’re assholes - jobs, housing, promotions, etc won’t care one bit, especially if you’re in the corporate world.

The pro sides of this area is that jobs are plentiful and easy to find. The cost of living is very low compared to other states. You asked what the minimum gross pay would be to have a living, retirement savings, and spending money. If you’re single and very frugal most of the time I think you could probably make that work at as low as 50K / year. 80K is very doable and 100K will be plenty even with a nice place unless you want to run with executive types.

This area has plenty of good theater, music, and food though it’s lacking in true scenery. Houston is near Galveston but the Gulf of Mexico is very silty in that area so not at all attractive. Central Texas has hills that are pleasant though not spectacular. At least Houston and Dallas are centrally located and have major airports so travel to areas with scenery is easy!

15

Glad you’re happy where you are, but as I noted, the MAYOR of Houston is a lesbian humanist. Gays have a hell of a lot more political clout in Houston than Christian fundamentalists do.

Same in the city of Dallas. Democrats, often quite liberal Democrats, win almost all of the major offices in the major Texas cities.

16

Size of Houston compared to SF, NYC, London, Honolulu. These maps show just the “city” portion of Houston - outer areas, say the Woodlands, Katy, La Porte, Galveston are not shown. I have no idea about the state of public transportation in Houston, but I can guaran-damn-tee you that NYC beats it, no contest.

A comparison between the two cities. Note that slightly less than half of the caucasians in Houston identify as Hispanic.

I moved to SA back in 2009 and love it here, though I moved from Knoxville, TN (after growing up in Atlanta, GA). YMMV.

It gets hot and humid, but it’s hot and humid in NYC too. And the electricity is more stable - last time I spent a July in NYC they had rolling brownouts due to peak electricity demands. :rolleyes:

17

I grew up in Houston and lived there until I was 27, and go back every few months to visit friends and family.

Houston’s hot, just like all of Texas, but we have air conditioning and lots of it. Unairconditioned places are virtually unheard of. It rains a lot there too.

I doubt being gay will be an issue. Houston’s an incredibly diverse place- gay, straight, ethnic, whatever. It’s cool. By some polls, Houston is actually considered more diverse than NYC. It’s one of the few minority-majority major cities in the US- there’s no dominant ethnic group.

Let me disabuse you of any notions that you won’t need a car. You will. METRO kind of sucks, and there are lots of places not on bus routes that you may want to go, or places that would be 10-15 minute trips by car, but 2 hour odysseys by bus.

Houston’s NOT like other parts of the state, in that it’s not so in-your-face religious. I think it goes with the diversity and tolerance. Dallas is MUCH more that way; people here seem to trumpet their religion a lot more than they ever did in Houston. That’s not to say people aren’t religious in Houston, but rather that in my experience, it seems to be a personal thing, not a public thing.

The best part about Houston is the city’s prevailing attitude. It seems to be a more inclusive and positive one- sort of a “There’s a place for everyone here” kind of thing, while places like say… Dallas have a more snooty attitude and a lot of racial tension.

The worst part about Houston is that it’s ugly and sprawling. There weren’t any zoning laws until sometime in the 1990s, and seemingly everything got grandfathered. In terms of sprawling, the metro area stretches something like 25 miles from downtown in any direction, and there are several business centers outside of downtown as well (mostly to the west).

18
  1. Would I be able to get around without a car? Of course, being a long-time NYC-er, I don’t even have a license let alone a car. That would change, of course, as soon as possible. But for at least a few months, I’d be car-less. Could I manage it?

Answer: No. You need a car.

  1. What would a decent, cost-of-living salary be? How much money would I have to gross per year to afford my rent, bills, stash a little away for retirement and still get to (occasionally) do social things?

Answer: You can easily get by on $30k a year. Housing is very cheap. Houston is not NYC.

  1. One big concern is that I’m gay. I moved to NYC in large part to live an openly gay life without the endless concern about being jumped by fag bash-ers. Of course, the whole world is a lot more chill about the issue now, but still - Texas doesn’t have a good rep for being tolerant. If, just for example, I happened to walk down the street hand-in-hand with another guy, would that be an “issue”? Or more likely, if I was at the office and I mentioned I was dating a guy, would I get awkward looks? Just to be clear, I am not some militant crusader by any stretch, but I don’t like the idea of having to be “discreet” about my life either.

Answer: Our mayor is a lesbian humanist. Nobody in Houston gives a f*** if you’re gay.

  1. I know it would take me a little time to say “Hyouu-ston” (instead of “House-ton” like the street in downtown Manhattan.) If I ever slipped and mispronounced it, would people want to kill me? (Now don’t laugh - based on the reactions of many tourists I’ve encountered, this is a much bigger deal than you would imagine.)

Answer: This is your biggest worry. Your nickname will be “Yankee Doodle” if you pronounce it like that.

19

I don’t know about this, about people loving or hating Texas. I have lived in Texas all my life and have liked it here, but I would be willing to move somewhere else if I found a really good job opportunity, or if I had a significant other who wanted to move somewhere else. I know a lot of people who feel the same as I do. Maybe it’s an urban/rural divide: I’d be happy in a lot of other big cities even in other states, but some of the people from rural Texas would only be happy living in rural Texas.

But I do agree with pbbth, that I would recommend visiting at least once, preferably in the summer. It’d be hard for you to get an adequate feel of the city without visiting it. And the summers are difficult for a lot of people, so it’d be best for you to see how you handle it.

People often seem to view Texas as just one big redneck ranch, and that’s not the case. Just like in other states, the big cities are different from the small towns and the rural areas. And the big cities are pretty liberal and tolerant. I am admittedly a white, straight, Christian, but it’s not terrible unusual for me to be out somewhere and be in the minority. Texas is a minority-majority state (unlike New York State), and Houston also has a minority-majority. There are a lot of Christians and a lot of churches, but also a whole lot of non-Christians.

20

As a former NYer in Houston, some of the challenges you will face:

Learning how to drive (you will need a car).
Figuring out what to do with the thousands of dollars a month you aren’t spending on 5th floor studio walk-ups.
Figuring out how to fill all the extra space in your home.
Saying goodbye to decent pizza
I actually have a friend who is from Buffalo who lived in NYC for most of his adult life. He and his wife moved to Dallas a few years back and likes it a lot. She’s originally from Texas if that matters.