Ever since the attacks on the WTC and Pentagon on September 11th, I’ve encountered a lot of people online and off who keep saying “God Bless You,” to me.
I’m an atheist so anything involving religion in genreal tends to make me uncomfortable. I don’t like being told that people will pray for me, keep me in their prayers, or receiving blessings.
Of course people don’t know unless I tell them and usually they’re saying it with good intentions…but, would it be rude for me to respond to the above phrases by informing the person that I’m an atheist.
Yes, it would be rude. As you say they are well-intentioned and it’s rude to stomp on people’s good intentions, especially for a trivial reason. It’s only words and they aren’t trying to force you to believe anything.
I see no value in speaking up like that. Just smile and nod and go on with life. Unless they’re actively trying to convert you, take their comments the same as a “Have a nice day”. Most folks who say that are just wishing you well… in my unprofessional opinion.
A lot of people would probably take it that way. I understand why it would make you uncomfortable, but many people take it as a rejection to be told that their prayers aren’t welcome, which is basically what you would be saying. I’m not defending those folks, because it is kind of presumptuous to use religious language without knowing how the other person feels about it. But it’s so common, and likely to get you into a lot of arguments if you try to resist it. I wish there were an easy solution for this problem, but you may have to just suck it up and try to ignore it as best you can.
You can certainly answer any way you like (I don’t think it’s rude to gently state your religious preferences), but be prepared for the thoughtless people of the world who will then feel the need to grill you on your choice. If that doesn’t bug you, then feel free.
BTW, does it seem to you like everything is getting more religious since Sept. 11, or am I just imagining it?
This is why I go way out of my way every year to find a nice card to send during December that says, “Happy holidays!” and has something winter-related as opposed to Christmas-related. I celebrate Christmas, but many of my friends do not (although they do all celebrate something, so “holiday” is appropriate - no LDS friends that I send cards to, either).
As a rant, I’ve got to give that about a -3.5. Perhaps, if you’re interested in doing the right thing, etiquette-wise, you might try posting your question in GQ, MPSIMS, or IMHO.
But I’ll try to answer you here, anyway.
Yes, it would be rude. Looking at it from the blesser’s point of view, your interlocutor is attempting to conclude his or her interaction with you by wishing you well. The polite response to being wished well is, “Thank you.”
The above is based on an assumption that your well-wisher is not trolling for athiests or other unsaved souls. If your “Thank you” is greeted with an invitation to immediately accompany the well-wisher to a service where the two of you can share in the experience of kissing Hank’s ass, that would be the time to conclude that the assumption does not hold. Otherwise, you haven’t been asked what your religious leanings are, and this would seem to be an inappropriate time to volunteer them.
I personally, am made uncomfortable by ostentatious displays of (apparently) situational patriotism. But at such a time as this, when people are trying to deal with the events of 09/11, and feel a need to make a connection with others, I don’t find it constructive to volunteer my ambivalent feelings toward any form of nationalism.
I think it would be rude. Personally I don’t think it would be worth the effort to explain it to everyone. I think there are things in life worth getting hyper about, and this isn’t one of them. Since I’m not a particularly religious person, I would rather not hear it at all, but I don’t go out of my way to tell people never to say it again to me.
Besides, I don’t really consider it proselytizing. I look on it as the person wishing their God will bless you in some way.
In the final analysis, does it really matter that much?
Is it ever polite to refuse the good wishes of another person, whether religion-based or not? No, and to refuse it is not only rude but is seen by most people as pointedly and purposely rude. Not good. You smile and thank the person and offer your own good wishes in your own manner.
I think it would be rude and hurtful to deflect a kind word that way. Of course, it’s not meant to be offensive in the least. Try to think of it as a little cross-cultural experience.
When my brother’s wife, who was an atheist, was about to undergo surgery for her cancer, a lot of people at her work told her that they were going to have everyone at their churches pray for her, and things like that. She told me that even though she didn’t believe in such things, it was a hell of a lot better than hearing that they were all going to make little dolls that looked like her and stick pins in them. My advice as a fellow atheist is to take other people’s blessings in that spirit.
To the OP: What everyone else said. I’m an atheist with a fondness for religious flamewars; but sometimes you should just accept it as their version of saying “good luck,” and move on.
Everybody’s missing one of the important points here–people who say God Bless You are saying it so that THEY will feel better. People who will pray for you are doing it at least in part for the same reason.
