I am one of those “prior-fatties”. I lost 26 pounds 6 years ago. (so for those of you who don’t want nouveau thin, do I pass your test??)
I look for, not unlike In Conceivable, someone who is active and interested in being healthy. I know quite a lot of naturally thin people who do not fall in that category. In fact, I think I am much more focused on healthy habits now than I ever was (obviously!). So if I met someone who’d been overweight before, I’d have no problem hooking up with them if I felt they were dedicated to a healthy lifestyle NOW. Where they stand now, and their vision of the future is more relevant than where they were several years ago.
Past transgressions, if you will, can often times be forgiven. Or maybe I’m just biased because we’re talking about one of MY past transgressions. Kinda hard to judge something when you’ve been there yourself, knowhattamean?
Astro, this important prior knowledge should be a red light at least as big as the planet Mars. After all, the fact someone has the potential to regain weight far outweighs their look, personality, intelligence, sense of humour, zest for life and compatability. In my view, this should be at least number 2,503 on your list.
My boyfriend used to weigh nearly 100 pounds more than he does now. Really, I’ve seen pictures. He’s about 6’, and he went from a bit under 250 pounds with no muscle to around 150 pounds and able to participate in 24-hour mountain biking races (yes, they’re a team thing, he doesn’t ride the whole 24 hours. Yet.) and carry me around without much effort.
Having been so much larger does cause some problems, like the fact that the skin on his stomach still hasn’t tightened up enough to show off the nice abs he now has lurking under there. And I do occasionally have to talk him into having something to eat when he gets hungry, but he’s getting better about that. The only thing that I find weird is the knowledge that he probably has a LOT more willpower than I do.
Perhaps its just me, but personally I happen to look beyond what the media etc dictates is attractive, and choose to use my own judgement and emotions.They told me that the person I am now in love with is wonderfull, sexy, intelligent, charming, caring, and loving. She is the most stunning human being I have ever met; witty, clever, capable, supportive and kind beyond measure. She completes my life and fullfills it. But, just think, if I hadnt had the capability to think beyond my peer group, I would have passed her over. And my life would have been totaly different,and for the worst. Size is irrelevant, its people that count.
I would be glad to date a former fat guy if everything else was compatible. I am overweight and trying to lose weight myself, so it would be nice to have someone who understands what it’s like.
It wouldn’t bother me if he regained some weight, as long as he avoided becoming morbidly obese. Morbid obesity would worry me because of the health issues. Other than that, I tend to find slightly chubby guys far more attractive than skinny guys. Gotta love a guy with some cuddly padding.
Actually, the same goes for women’s attractiveness IMHO. I wouldn’t date a woman (being a straight girl myself), but most of the women who seem the prettiest to me are at least 50 pounds overweight. Perhaps it’s because I’m used to looking at myself and don’t think I look like Quasimodo despite the weight.
I would guess that my wife weighed about 145 lbs. at 5’2” when I married her in 1981. That’s definitely overweight in the opinion of most people. I received a lot of criticism from people I knew who would tell me, “You could do much better.” I told each and every one of them, “A good looking woman is only good looking when you’re looking at her, so she had better be beautiful in other ways.” My wife is definitely the most beautiful person that I know, even though she now weighs over 200 lbs. Some time ago she lost 90 lbs. over that span of a year. She kept it off for five years only to gain it back when stress related seizures forced her to stop her daily aerobics. She looked better when she was thinner, but I don’t love her any less today. I probably love her even more.
She’s just finished chemo for breast cancer, so she’s fat, bald and hasn’t been in the best mood as of late. Even so, I love her. But, IMHO, I’m one of the most emotionally mature people that I know. The only person who comes close to me would be my wife. Without that maturity we would probably be in that heap of discarded spouses just outside of the divorce court. In the eyes of some, her weight, and the emotional ups and downs that come with it, make her a challenging spouse. And Lord knows that I have my own quirks that make me a heck of a challenge.
So…for all it matters…in my opinion, if you believe that a spouse is not disposable, you’d better have your shit together before committing to spend you life with anybody. Even someone who has the potential of being overweight. And if you have obesity in your genetic background, you’d better make sure the guy or girl you’re getting involved with loves you in the dark, when you’re doing nothing but spending endless hours talking.
santomeniac, your wife is one lucky, lucky woman!
I wouldn’t hesitate-as long as said person was healthy and attractive to ME.
Hell, my dad used to be rather chubby when he was an adolescent, from what I’ve been told. You’d never think so to look at him now. (He’s six three and in better shape than most guys in their fifties)
It wouldn’t bother me at all. Maybe someone who had just lost a lot of weight has a higher chance of gaining it back, but there’s not guarantee that any of us will maintain our figures.
Heck the only guarantee I come with is that I will age, wrinkles will multiply, things that are perky will start to drop, and Miss Clairol is a friend for life!
