In one episode of Happy Days, Richie clashes with a bully. He tries several things to avoid the bully, but the problem persists - ultimately, he agrees to fight. He goes to Fonzie, and asks for advice, wondering what Fonz would do if he were in Richie’s situation.
“Richie,” replies The Fonz, “I wouldn’t be in your situation.”
If I ever had an affair, I’d tell my wife. I’ve told her about harmless flirtations with others that occurred before we were even engaged, under the theory that, while I thought they were harmless, it wasn’t for me to judge how she should feel.
If I ever cheated on her, in any way, she has a right to know about it. I would hope, and pray, that we could salvage the marriage, but the way to do that is not to hide the truth.
And to those who say, “Yes, but what if she’d never find out?” … putting aside that it’s the right thing to do, regardless of whether or not she’d find out, I think there’s a very practical point here: it’s a meaningless guarantee. If you cheated, then two people, at least, know. And that means that she could, conceivably, find out. Odds might be small - but the stakes are huge.
And here’s why I mentioned The Fonz… I say these things safely, because I will never tell my wife I’ve cheated on her… because I never will.
I lived a full life before I got married - I have no regrets, nothing I was dying to do and never did (except, perhaps, skydiving). There is no reason to ever do that. I may well meet some charming, captivating lady down the road… someone about whom I may think, “Ah… if I weren’t married…” But on the heels of that thought will inevitably be, “…but I am.”
Nor does this strike me as a prison… rather, as though I’m stuck at Disneyland. Yes, I can’t leave the park… but my, look at all the great rides that are here!
- Rick
men, shrug.