Interesting phrasing, from a lady…
So anybody who wants to can download and view my scenes, doing whatever I want with whomever* I* want (assuming they agree).
One question: do I ever have to hear about it, or can there be a “don’t talk about fight club” rule?
I’d say the statistical probability of nobody ever mentioning it to you, even just once in passing, is virtually zero. But again—that’s the entire point of this exercise. If we make the offer irresistibly attractive to you, will you do porn knowing that the general public will have access to the material?
Hmm. I’m a few years beyond my prime porn star days, but I’d be happy to compose some really bad jazz on my synthesizer for background music. Or I can record some vocal tracks, e.g. moans of rapture and high-pitched squeals of delight, to dub in.
Well, can I be the disapproving moralist who gives lectures on the wages of sin? Or is that too kinky?
This is the new, ‘enlightened’ face of porn. You can look like a Shar-Pei for all we care. Offer still stands.
If you can pull it off in a dominatrix catsuit, we’d be all over that. Consider it homage to Mel Brooks.
Girl or lady,this one already said no.
I can’t imagine being in porn for any reason. I can’t imagine it helping my esteem issues in any way.
We can provide you with a fluffer who has a doctorate in clinical psychology.
send me the sign up information
No, thanks. It’s -17F here right now, and you know what that does.
I guess I’m out. I don’t have the legs for dominatrixing. Plus the CFM heels make my hallux limitus hurt like the devil.
This. And can I be replaced by my partner? He actually has experience.
Can’t elope!! You guys kill me!
Sure, what the hey. I insist on wearing my Richard Nixon face mask during my scene, however. It’s the only thing that makes me feel sexy.
No!
Marcel! Je suis content de vous voir! And from beyond the grave, no less!
I’m in.
How soon can I get the money?
Submit your script, complete filming, and we will cut you a check the same day.
Oh fer Og’s sake, at least restrict it to entities capable of giving informed consent…!
Other than that, I’d be cautiously in, if you can get the likes of Mariko Morikawa, Lenka Berkiova, Tia Ling, Shar Nitzapanus, Samantha Sanders, or mid-1980s pre-nosejob Nikki King to star opposite me. Non-smoking, non-drug-using stunt doubles if necessary, of course. Though I’m certain I’d fit into the category of ‘we’ll pay you to not appear on film’…