While I agree with the rest of your post, I have to take issue with this particular sentence. This happens all the fucking time. It’s called “becoming a teenager”. It happens to the sweetest, most well-behaved kids with the most loving and involved parents. There’s no way to predict it, no way to escape it, and no way to prevent it. The best you can do is hunker down and wait till they leave for college.
Oh and OP, unless this kid’s behavior is directly affecting you in some way, like she’s a terrible influence on your own kids, stay out of it. No good whatsoever can come of you bringing this up with her parents, especially if they’re not your blood relations.
I think that it’s not only normal, but healthy individualtion for a teenager to rebel in those ways. Not doing chores and not wanting to dress like some kind of mom-lover seems fairly mild to me. I don’t know what one does to correct a teenager so things don’t get too out of hand, and I hope I can figure it out myself in the future, but the behavioral examples you’ve provided sound so normal and your frustration with “society” seems unecessary. Does she throw screamy temper tantrums at 13? I’d be more concerned about that.
ETA: Doing well at school and soccer? Sounds like she’s doing her job.
Uh, no, teenage years are extremely difficult times when it comes to social interaction. Shilling for your parents’ business by wearing a promotional T-shirt is (1) not an effective way to get business, (2) a very effective way to be humiliated and suffer social consequences.
If a parent can’t think of a better way to promote her business than forcing her daughter to become a walking commercial, then that business is in trouble. And if a parent doesn’t understand how uncomfortable it is to be sent to school as an agent of your parent, then that parent has an empathy problem.
Wow, I never realized the existence of obnoxious teenagers was unique to this generation. Must’ve been nice back when thirteen year-olds were always obedient, deferred to their parents opinions and helped with the house-work without constant badgering.
Bet they never did drugs, waited till marriage to have sex and only listened to classical music back then to.
First, going to the Bahamas isn’t really the issue, is it? Most of your post has nothing to do with the trip but a screed about the spoiled brat.
Second, none of it is really *your *issue, is it? (BTW is her father your brother, or is one of the parents your husband’s sibling?) I’m wondering why this bugs you so much. I guess it sounds annoying but I don’t see why you would solicit opinions on an anonymous discussion board about it. Sounds like you are trying to validate your annoyance.
You don’t have kids yourself, do you? Parenting always involves trade-offs and there are lots of little ways to fuck up. Often when you’re in the middle of everything its not clear if you’ve done things right or wrong. My nephews were ungrateful shits when they were teens but they both grew up to be considerate and responsible adults.
Maybe your niece will grow up to be a nasty piece of work, or maybe she’ll grow up to be a lovely young lady, but you should find something better to do with your time than sit on the sidelines and snark.
Then it’s very possible he’s not being told the whole story. I’ve known a lot of people who feel the need to vent to someone else about how “[so-and-so] isn’t carrying their weight/doing their chores/etc.” when the reality was much different.
Yea, kvetching about ones kids is pretty universal, whether the kid in question is ditching school to sell dope on the corner or leaves the hall light on. I’m not sure it really means the niece is really particularly badly behaved, and even if it does, its usually poor form to use it as a reason to kvetch about someone else’s kids unless their doing something that personally affects you.
At least, that’s how adults used to do it. Adults of this generation have no manners or sense of propriety.
OK, so you seem unwilling to blame the parents. How about blaming yourself then? Oh, you’re not to blame are you? “It seemed that no one cared…” Well why didn’t you care?
“it is ‘acceptable’ for a 13 year old to act that way.” Who accepted it? Society? Well you’re part of society. Why didn’t you say something?
Sorry, but an unruly 13 year old is not a passive-voice sentence. By that I mean, the brat wasn’t just made. Someone made her. Mistakes didn’t happen. Someone made mistakes.
The point is that there is blame and I would 100% blame the parents. But if you’re unwilling to do that, then you don’t get to cop out and say that it’s somehow society’s fault unless you’re willing to accept your own responsibility in how she is today. But my choice would be on blaming the parents.
I Totally agree and blame the parents 100%. I was meaning that posters here were commenting that her behavior was normal teen behavior so that was what I was referring to. Sorry if I worded it incorrectly.
just wanted to have a discussion with others about it.