I’m curious at the opinions of members here.
Back when I was 16, my mom, who had remarried, called my dad up and asked if it was all right if I were to have my stepfather’s old issues (which totalled about 2 years worth) of Playboy. It was obvious from her, that she didn’t mind me having it and my dad was okay with it as well.
I was the envy of many of my friends after that…who always asked disbelievingly “You’re own MOM and DAD gave you your Playboys?”
And so I was wondering how many others, exactly, would allow this? Would you let your son or daughter look at or even have a Playboy magazine? Would you be more apt to allow your daughter to? And what age would you, if you think you’d allow it, would you let them start reading it?
Personally I intend to keep a hidden stash just for them to find and “check out.” I just think that giving them the magazines would be depriving them of one of the funner childhood experiences.
No, I don’t think so. My job is to provide factual information about sex to my kids, as needed. They’re going to have to find the frills and thrills on their own.
I had a mail-order subscription to Playboy in 8th grade. My father ordered them, flipped through them once or twice (actually reading the articles as well as checking out the girls), and then passed them along to me. Before long, I had a Playboy box alongside my comic book boxes!
If my kid was 16 or 17 and wanted to get a subscription with his own money, I certainly would not restrict that (that would be censorship)…
But, I would not like it, because I wouldn’t want an unexperienced young teenage boy to get the idea that REAL women look or should look like the girls in the magazine. I wouldn’t want him to use those women to set his standards for what is beautiful or sexy.
Like, for example, I wouldn’t want him to think that for a woman to be beautiful, she has to have big boobs and a skinny waist, or a shaved crotch, or wear makeup and dye her hair, or wear provacative clothes, etc.
The dork- and obsolescence-factors aside, what is there in Playboy for a parent to object to? The articles – too mature? The cartoons – too risque? The photos? Is there something wrong with looking at or lusting after pretty, naked women? If so, at what age does that become acceptable?
Depends on the maturity of the child in question. Though probably nothing under 13. I wouldn’t be opposed to it so long as I thought that my child had a good understanding of many issues surrounding porn, sexuality and the naked human form. Certainly that would come from having honest discussions and a relationship where we could discuss matters of sex and sexuality. I want my child to have a healthy attitude towards sex and masturbation. That being said, I don’t neccessarily want to know to what, when and where in the house my child is masturbating. “Oh sorry Jr. I didn’t realize you behind the washer. Say what’s with the shoe catalogue? oh.” I would just want them to know it’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I do like Sage Rat’s idea of having a stash for them to find. I recall the giddiness and sneaky feeling of finding my dad’s stash.
I don’t think I would provide erotica to my (hypothetical) child, and I would appriciate it if they kept it out of sight, but if I came across it I wouldn’t be shocked or angry–I would just ignore it–in much the same way as I would try not to have noisy sex if they were around, but that if they did hear something and understand what it was, I would expect them to politly ignore it.
I’m not at all prudish, but I think there are processess that need to occur outside of the family sphere, and the exploration and the development of your sexual nature is one of them. I don’t think it’s something I would want to intrude on–not because the thought of a teen’s sexuality squicks me out, but because I think adolecents need autonomy.
Man, there’s nothing like finding an old Playboy stash in the garage or in the basement to absolutely make your entire year when you’re a kid.
As for the subscription, my parents were pretty cool with the subject, so I would be too. My dad left them out on his coffee table, and my mom would find them in my room when she was cleaning and she never said anything. IMHO, if you’re truly worried about your kids becoming some kind of weird sex freak, the worst thing to do is make sex seem weird, secret and uncomfotable for them at a formitive time.
At the same time, this may be totally irrelevant these days. Who needs a Playboy if you have internet access?
What would happen to a 12-year old? 11? 10? Younger? Will exposure to something “too mature” cause psychological damage or merely educate?
That implies there is something wrong about having them out in the open. Is there?
IANAPsy., but I believe that if a person isn’t ready, mature enough to understand or absorb, that it will simply be of no interest to him/her. When the hormones kick in, things will change, but at neither stage should nakedness or perfection be considered wrong. (Unrealistic, maybe, but not wrong.)
A personal anecdote. A friend of mine had a young child we’ll call Billy (maybe 5 or 6). One day, our too-soon-mature female cat came into heat before we realized it. On advice from the vet, we let her have some fun, since he said it would be safer to spay her after she got pregnant than during the heat phase. Nacherly, all the neighborhood toms came around, and being progressive and liberal parents, we thought it might be a good sex lesson for Billy to see them fucking. So we made a point of calling him the next time they went at it and suggested he watch. He did, intently. We thought there would be a thousand sex questions we would have to handle, so we said, “Anything you want to ask about this?”
Hmmm… that’s true. But at the same time, while I don’t mind if the boy were to take a liking to big boobs, I’ll be damned if I’m buying him high end stereo equiptment, cashmere sweaters, or an Aston Martin. Really, better to forget the Playboy and just stick with Penthouse.
Well, a neighbor boy showed me pictures from, I don’t know it seems that it was penthouse or maybe hustler when I was somewhere about 8 or 9 and I grew up to be gay. is that what you really want for your kids???
No I don’t belive so. I use 13 as a guideline for time at which puberty is kicking in. Depends on the individual child.
Again depends on the child and my relationship with them. I wouldn’t want to leave out materials containing BDSM if I didn’t think my child could understand consensual play. Could you imagine a 12 yr old tying up his/her friend and then spanking them or worse, something going fatally wrong, and saying “Well I saw it in dad’s book.”
My parents (especially my mother) had the old fashioned system. She gave me all kinds of sex ed books and things and she wasn’t a prude at all but she demanded the respect that mothers have for all time. I had to keep my stash hidden. A few times, she found Playboy’s and Penthouses out and I got a stern talking to (I was maybe 14 or 15) and she even threw some away. After that I started “hiding” them even though my hiding places were pathetic like places she cleaned. It was just the principle of the matter and many generations of sons have given their mothers that respect.
That is true. We visited my mother’s father who lived far away when I was about 13 or so. He has always been quite the womanizer and he had an actual guest house that we could stay in. We walked in to put our bag down and…there it was. He had special shelves built and they housed every single issue of Playboy since it started to the present (1980’s) neatly arranged. I thought my head was going to explode right there.
There wasn’t much socializing by me that visit. I couldn’t wait for everyone else to do whatever it was they did because I was going to retire to the “library” for some study.
When littlecats inquires, I’m happy with addressing her curiosities. I’d much prefer that she learn all she can about sexual issues from both me and recreational reading, as opposed to a crash course of Back Seat Bingo 103.
As far as sex education goes, our daughter will get the whole story, tailored to her age, when she asks for it. If she wants to look at magazines, then she’s welcome to, i wouldn’t stop her. But I would expect them to be kept out of sight. I don’t leave pornographic mags lying around (in fact, I don’t have any), and I’d expect her not to as well. If we had a boy, the response would be the same.
