My sister wants me to go in halves on a necklace as a birthday gift for our 11yo niece.
The necklace itself is $279 (plus tax).
My niece has already expressed a desire for this necklace. How she even knows of this necklace, I don’t know. Are 11yo girls normally interested in that stuff? I mean, I know girls like pretty things but is it normal for a girl that young to flip through a Zales catalog of some sort? :dubious:
Anyway, she’s a good girl and doesn’t ask for much, it’s just I feel a little conflicted. First, I’m worried if she’s responsible enough to maintain and keep such an item. I’m also worried she might lose it as well. (11yo’s being what they are)
I have a 9 year old and was once an 11 year old girl myself, and HELLZ YEAH too extravagant. Unless you are cool with it being lost/broken, don’t waste the money. You can get her a pretty costume piece, or even sterling silver, for 10% of that cost.
Is she generally good at maintaining her belongings? Is she mature enough to understand that this is a special occassion item and not everyday wear? If you can answer those with a yes then I would go for it. If either is a no, then I would find something else.
Starting about when I was about 10-11 (5th-6th grade) I received nice jewelry pieces for birthdays and Christmas. I had my ears pierced, so I had some little gemstone and pearl studs, and golden hoops, also a couple of fine gold chains with small gem pendants and also several gold/gemstone rings. I loved them and took very good care of them. Nothing was probably over $150, but I never lost anything. And I am not from a rich family or anything. Usually I got jewelry from my aunt or parents. I still have every piece I have ever gotten and I am 33 (although I almost never wear jewelry now, and if I do, only silver and not gold). These items are meaningful keepsakes to me.
I see nothing wrong with it - I think it’s pretty normal for pre-teens to be interested in jewelry and to be able to acknowledge the value of it, and take responsible care of it.
Depends – is it a keepsake type of thing, like a locket, or special ring? Something like that? Do you have a picture of it? And I would hope it’s the kind of thing you only wear on special occassions.
It’s one thing for her to be interested… it’s another to actually get it for her.
I never got a real gemstone til I got my engagement ring. There were some little earrings and a gold necklace, but nothing more than $100 until I was a grown adult.
My father, for some crazy yet probably well-intentioned reason known only to him, tried not once but several times to give me good jewelry as special keepsake gifts when I was around that age. He was then repeatedly hurt and annoyed when I would lose that jewelry while riding bikes down in the creek bed or playing kick the can or whatever 11 year old girls do.
The only possible scenario where it’s reasonable to give an 11 year old child good jewelry is if you have a family heirloom item that you can give to the girl, and THEN KEEP IT LOCKED UP and maybe only let it out for special occasions that do not involve the outdoors, water, or farms.
Starting at around that age my parents and grandparents started to give me classic jewelry pieces for Christmas. Not crazy-expensive, but maybe a scaled-down version of what my mom got the same year. I know one year I got a lovely little sapphire solitaire on a chain, for example, somewhere in middle school. It was of course only for special occasions, but I had my own little jewelry box and kept them all myself (along with the shitty costume pieces I had, of course.) I guess it’s part of becoming a lady, you know? On my 20th birthday my parents gave me my first good string of pearls. (My father’s business partner gave me pearl earrings for my high school graduation.) Does that make us too old-fashioned?
I still get the scaled-down version of what my mom gets for Christmas, by the way. Partly because she has a much more expensive birth stone than me. I don’t think it’s scaled down by much, though - this past year I got some gorgeous amethysts. And for my birthday I got chocolate pearls, the price of which I just do not want to know, otherwise I wouldn’t wear them. Ever.
My dad told me when I was little that most ladies never buy themselves fine jewelry or perfume. Now that I’m grown, I could buy myself jewelry, but why? Daddy buys much better stuff than I would.
ETA - now that I think about it, it wasn’t even for “special occasions” - it was for church, or nice dinners. Any dress-up time.
Oh, I don’t know. My grandmother was of the mind that jewelry was an investment that all girls should have, so starting at age 11, I started getting some fairly nice stuff (diamond, pearl, and gemstone earrings, gold necklaces, her old silver rings). I appreciated the value of the jewelry and was never careless with it. So it really depends on the personality of the child and also what impression you make on her as to the importance of the jewelry.
Brilliant! There’s an idea. I could talk to the mom and see if she would keep it safe for her to use only on special occasions! I think I could feel good about that.
Hey, family heirlooms have to start somewhere don’t they?
Luckily for my parents I never wanted expensive stuff like that. I imagine if I did and I had received it, mom would have either given me a special place to put it like my own nice jewelry box, or kept it with her stuff. Then only really allowed to wear it on holidays and other special occasions until I was a bit older. So I agree with delphica.
That’s a point - you certainly don’t have to spend three hundred bucks on a nice piece of jewelry that’s age appropriate. $100 is more in line with her age.
I started to get nicer pieces of jewelry around that age, at about that price point, but they were antiques, and not crap out of a Zales catalog. If you’re going to spend money on something, make sure you’re buying quality.
As for whether 11 is too young to care for nice jewelry–it depends on the girl. Keep in mind that a kid has to learn to be responsible. She won’t wake up at 18 magically able to be responsible; it’s a process. If she’s shown herself to be responsible in the past, I think this is something she can be trusted with. If she’s proven herself to be forgetful and careless, well, consider buying her a cheaper necklace that won’t upset you so much if it gets lost. I still have the emerald earrings I was given at age 11.
Would you consider getting an 11 year old a $300 game system or other electronic gadget? If so, what’s the difference?
If she’s good at taking care of stuff and understands that it’s not for everyday wear and the price isn’t out of line for what y’all usually spend, go for it. It may be a piece that she passes down to her own daughter one day with the story of how Mom and Uncle (Aunt?) SHAKES got it for her when she was 11.
Go for it, get the name necklace or whatever it is. At that price you may be actually getting a nice piece of quality jewelry instead of hollow gold plated junk. But then again anything out of the catalog is bound to be marked up up up up. I bought a pair of gold earrings for my girls from JCPenney. They were on sale for like $30, originally priced $90. They were so not worth 90 IMO.
From my own experience, my 11 year old twins still do not have a clear enough concept of value in that they would think that an emerald necklace set in 18k gold was just as pretty as the smiley face necklaces you can buy from Claire’s for £9, and would leave both precariously balanced on the edge of the bathroom sink.
I get a lot of “this is so pretty can I have it please mom please my life won’t be complete without it” only for it to be forgotten by the time we hit the next store and the next shiny object.
It won’t be long though when they will appreciate nicer things but I’m waiting until I’m sure they will take care of them properly.
