Hell no. When we said “we’re in this together” we meant it.
Um…yeah that’s kind of a dealbreaker for me.
That’s what I like about the SDMB - always someone there who knows what they are talking about.
Feel free to respond “none of your business” (or not at all), but was he a quad when you married him?
We had fairly good friends and one of them became paralyzed (multiple sclerosis). They ended up divorcing, and she essentially committed suicide. They had had marital problems long before she was diagnosed.
So, in answer to the OP, no, I would not leave (God willing) and I would hope to have learned something from the experience of our friends so that I would be able to stay the course.
Lead us not into temptation.
Regards,
Shodan
That doesn’t seem that far off from the norm. 33% of first marriages end within the first 10 years, and 43% ending by the 15 year mark. So yes, it’s a bit higher in half the period of time, but they may have divorced anyway. If your spouse is an ass and you don’t like him/her very much, then being the primary caregiver would suck more, but it looks like a lot of people stay with their SOs too.
Seconded. People sometimes talk about being born as a quad and it is in some ways the birth of another person or at least another life. I know people who talk about this perspective (I’d rather DIE!) in terms of the arrogance of the temporarily abled and they have a point.
What does make me uncomfortable is not the “better off dead” assumption from people who are just engaging in a thought experiment, but the gap between how health care providers who work with this population rate their quality of life and how the patients rate their own.
This may be picking nits, but still…while brain injury and quadriplegia overlap sometimes, stats bout the one don’t seem to me to give us any useful information about the other.
Of course I would. I mean, I’m already going to hell anyway.
Lucida console is my ironic font.
I’d say no, and feel like I meant it…but…if he were to become one of those bitter, life-hating, soul-sucking types of people (long term, that is–I know there’s a mourning and adjustment period to major injuries like that), I’d have to leave for my own mental health. I don’t think he would, though. He’s a strong person.
Sex is the least of my worries. And hey, you can still snuggle with a quad. They might not be able to feel it, but you would.
I’d absolutely stay. He’s my best friend.
I can’t know for sure, of course, but I’m pretty sure that my sense of honor would prevent me from dumping her even if I no longer loved her for some reason. I was the caregiver for a former girlfriend who was very sick so I have experience with all the nastiness that it requires. I never flinched. I bathed her, wiped her, carried her when she couldn’t walk, and much more. We broke up because she was holding me back from enjoying my life and she knew it. If I had been in love with her I would have stayed. As it was, I stayed with her for about three years after we broke up because I felt it was my duty to help her get back on her feet.
I would hope that my wife would allow me to have sex with other women, but if she didn’t I would survive. That aspect wouldn’t be much different that what we have now, and I’m not considering leaving her over it.
I don’t think this is an question anyone can honestly answer. Who would admit to a desire to become a prison punk?
The vows said “Til death do us part.”
So, NO.
Never leave her. We’ve been through our share of medical issues (and yes, I even had to clean up after her) but I would not leave her. I love her no matter what kind of condition she is in.
As for sex, as long as I have my hands I’m OK. Of course, she might have to learn to like giving BJs a little more…
Yes, I’d stick around.
2 1/2, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re kind of shallow. I hope that you never have a chronic illness, because I suspect that you will indeed be all alone…
Why not? I’ve had my share of severe, ongoing family health issues. I’ve thought this kind of thing through. I’ve spent time in therapy talking about it. I’m very clear on my answer and have great confidence that it’s accurate based on previous experiences. I honor my family commitments. Period.
Is it because of the monkey?
Umm hmmm. I’ve only been dating my SO for 2 years and we’ve had our share of problems. I can’t see myself dumping him for becoming a quad, but I also wouldn’t stay with him no matter what because of it. The things we really enjoy doing together in our private life, ie. cuddling and watching movies, could still be done.
My current GF? I dont even think marriage is in the cards at the moment, so no I would move on after she adjusted somewhat. I would feel like a total heel if I dumped her very soon after the accident…
“A little more”? You’ve given me a horrible mental image of the poor woman having to pleasure you constantly.
Anybody who knows up front that they would definitely dump their SO is probably in the wrong relationship (or their SO is).