Would you like me to shove a Bible up your ass?

The BBQ Pit
1

Notice: The follow Pit rant has been placed into Haiku format. Enjoy.

Idiot at Church
Muslim does not mean “Raghead”
Pull head out of ass

You stupid bigot
Try reading the Koran once
You might learn something

‘Nuke the Middle East’
‘Who cares about innocents’
‘I hate those people’

You make Jesus cry
The Bible does not tell you
‘Arabs are evil’

So you want to kill
‘Bomb the Mosque’ you say (dumbass!)
Why don’t I bomb you?

You people make me sick
Massive In-breeding made you
Go back to Hick-Ville

This was not enough
Now you talk about New York
The cross must prove God

Go worship it now
Yet it does not equal God
It is only chance

Most buildings use cross
That is the point of steel beams
They cross each other

Yet you don’t see that
You think WTC uses stone
Get some sense you hick

The Unburned Bible
More stupid crap you believe
Ever hear of Snopes?

In conclusion, You
You disgrace your religion
Shut up, go away

2

“Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

3

one asshole does not
represent religion, man
Muslims say this, too.

4

Uhhh…the Tao De Ching
Is already up there now
It would be crowded

:smiley:

5

“And this commandmant I give to you above all others: that you love one another”.

Baby Jesus crying is a useful high-minded riff on how any religion can be perverted and warped out of all recognition.

“Jesus wept”, now…

6

don’t blame Jesus for
the religion foisted on
him posthumously

7

reading poetry
so early in the morning
I should be working

a more peaceful rant
of such meditative calm
has not yet been seen

8

Roommate quotes Bible
Each day a new verse for me
And prays for my soul

“In a time of war
We all must trust in Jesus
And we will be safe”

She knows my boyfriend
Is atheist, and I am
All undecided

So she prays for us
To see the light of Jesus
Before war kills us

Proselytizing
Oh yeah, she knows the Bible
Such a good Christian*

Roommate quotes Bible
Picking and choosing the words
To make her own point

She and her boyfriend
Say they hate those damn towelheads
Boyfriend wants to kill

Wreak death and vengeance
“There are no innocents there”
“They attacked Jesus”

Arabs aren’t Christian
So it’s okay to kill them
Or something, I guess

Somehow they both miss
One certain short Bible quote
“Love one another”

[sub]*sarcasm.[/sub]

9

It distresses me
To see ‘Christians’ behaving
With such ignorance.

10

What an idiot
Maybe he needs to visit
This Onion story

11

Faith creates martyrs
Bleeding for the divine. Why?
The sky is empty!

12

Bible up my ass?
My, that is pretty kinky.
Do you have K-Y?

13

Push it up gently
Bible suppository
Beware paper cuts

14

What a simul-post
'Tis divine intervention?
Or coincidence?

15

It’s proof that God wants
You to learn His Word via
Rectal osmosis.

It also serves to
Warn, “Be careful when jamming
Things up your asses.”

16

Does he want to kill
All white Christian males due to
Timothy McVeigh?

17

Of course it’s OK
to kill them; after all, they’re
on the other side. :rolleyes:

18

as the lotus falls
haiku must line-separate
and show with but one

19

and the non-haiku interpretation of my haiku:

a haiku must (or, at least, should) begin with an abstract comparative metaphor,

each line must be a complete phrase onto itself,

and the message must be sent across with only a single verse.

that’s why Haiku is so hard.
(well, you are also supposed to set the message in a manner that relates it from your own meditative learnings, but i do believe we have a dearth of buddhists on the boards, so i will let that one slide.)

as my thoughts flow in,
i yield my mind to the souls
i do love haiku

20

[sub]saepiroth’s lesson reinterpreted[/sub]

Pedal by pedal
Each haiku line but one phrase
Many pedals but one verse