I’m going to Ohio Valley Mall this Saturday to audition for Survivor. YEAH! I think it’s Survivor 9. Anyway, I’m told that they are going to give people 6 minutes to explain why they should be on Survivor. Any suggestions as to what I should say/do? I think begging and crying would be exceptionally interesting, but I’m not sure it’s what they would be looking for. Any fun ideas? BTW I know there’s not a chance in heck I’ll make it on there, but humor me, okay?
Any excuse you can find to get naked during the audition would probably at least get your name remembered.
Call Jeff Probst every nasty name you can think of.
Lobster wrasslin’.
Nudity! That’s a great idea! I’ll have to think of some way to work in Richard Hatch. Maybe I’ll say that I need to make sure that overweight, homosexual men do not corner the market on naked. It will be my duty as a slim heterosexual to be on that show and be naked as all get out. That might work. Any other suggestions?
“In an emergency I could eat human flesh!”
“I’ve seen Cast Away 74 times!”
“Wheee!!! I like to make sand castles!!! Wheeeeeeee!!!”
“I can speak monkey.”
“Jeff, you shore do have a purty mouth!”