Driving down the freeway one day, you find yourself being followed by a hot, vaguely Mediterranean brunette driving a Ferrari. She follows you to your exit, corners you, and informs you that she is, in fact, Aphrodite, goddess of love & sex, establishing her bona fides by turning two teenagers nearby into a ion & lioness.
Aphrodite is feeling he’s mischievous that day, and consequently made a bet with her Nordic counterpart Frigga as to which of two alternatives you’ll choose. Here’s what she’s offering:
Say the word, and she’ll enchant you so that you’ll have a true, deep abiding love with whomever you name. If you’re not in a relationship with someone you love, you’ll meet your soulmate later that day; if you are already in such a relationship, your emotional bond with your lover will grow so deep and strong that nothing short of death will break you apart. But you’ll never, ever, ever have sex with this person; or, for that matter, with anyone else. You may, if you wish, give your soulmate permission to make the two-backed beast with others, but for you it’s a lifetime of touchie-no-lookie.
Alternatively, Aphrodite can make you sexually irresistable. Any mortal you see and desire will be passionately drawn to you and unable to resist your advances; and sex with these people will be extraordinary. But their passion for you will be purely physical. They’ll never cuddle, never offer a sympathetic ear, never rub your feet. On the day of your funeral, they’ll be mourning the orgasms you two shared together, not you.
Oh, and NOT choosing one of these options is not allowed. Unless you make a choice, Aphrodite will turn you into a gazelle with a broken leg and teleport you into the path of those two lions she created a few minutes ago. If you’re already in love, she’ll do the same to the person you’re in love with.
Which do you choose?
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