Would you save the life of your bully?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Due to an incident in which one of my nieces was indirectly involved, I’d like to know the opinion of everyone on this matter.

According to my niece, who is 12, so some details might be exaggerated/inaccurate, this is what happened:

Three months ago, give or take, my niece’s group from school (around 30 kids) was in a birthday party. Everyone was invited, including for some reason the group bully. Everything was normal as far as kid parties can be, until the bully started making trouble.

Now, half the kids were in the pool, and the other half were eating somewhere else in the house. The bully started shoving people into the pool, but for some reason, he slipped and fell into it.

Turns out, the bully couldn’t swim.

Everyone who was in the pool got out, and left. My niece says that after that, she ran and told an adult what had happened. Said adult jumped into the pool and saved the bully. After some phone calls, the bully’s mother arrived and took him away, apparently without even saying thanks.

After that, the bully never returned to the school. My niece says that nobody knows what happened to him.

So, imagine this. Your bully, the person who makes your life hell, is in grave danger. What do you do? Do you save him/her? Do you leave and let him/her die? Do you tell someone else to see if that person saves him/her? Do you sit and watch him/her die?

This might sound horrifying, but if half a group of ~12 year olds could simply say “good riddance” or “he deserved it” and leave someone else to drown (which is a horrible death, no matter how you look at it)… On the other hand, some bullies are much, much worse than others, and we don’t have all the details.

Which leads me to another subject. Since obviously each person is different, what would be your “breaking” point? What would your bully have to do so that you leave that person to die?

2

My first reaction is that if a group of 12 year olds of unknown swimming ability were using the pool, then the parents were incredibly negligent not to make sure an adult had eyes on the pool at all times.

3

I don’t know how old you are or anything about your childhood, but growing up, all the kids in my neighborhood disappeared for hours without adult supervision and got into all kinds of trouble, sometimes requiring stitches and casts. And that was before I was even 10 years old.

4

I don’t know what my breaking point is. If a bully had reached that I would have considered being pro-active about his demise.

I’m guessing this is some kind of urban mythy/moral lessony story being repeated.

5

Yep, and nowadays, if you’re holding a pool party, and a 12 year old kid drowns and it comes out that there was no adult supervision of the pool, you’re at best going to lose everything you own. If you’re less lucky, you might even face criminal charges.

6

Re: OP.

I fully expect 12 year olds to act as if Lord of the Flies is written about them.

7

Let’s say someone as an adult went out of their way to ruin your life/destroy your reputation/harass you. You later see them in a life threatening situation (ranging from drowning to mugging to anaphylaxis) would you save them or would you leave them to die?

8

I’d quietly shut the door.

9

What would you do?

10

I’m not going to stand around and watch someone drown! Unless I pushed them.

11

Well, I’ve saved a few people I despised. But that’s the nature of my work. And my duty. I’d probably do the same on my off time, too. Though my revenge fantasies would continue to play through my head, I’m sure.

12

Lean in close and whisper “I could have let you die.”

13

Eh, gotta be careful gazing into that abyss. The abyss gazes back.

14

In 6th grade (~1982) we watched a movie about this very subject. The details are lost on me after these 40 years, but basically Bully followed the Good Kid home, continuing to taunt him as they crossed a bridge. Bully fell somehow and was /this/ close to plunging to his death, and begging Good Kid for help, while Good Kid repeatedly said “Maybe I should just let you die.”

Then the film ended and we discussed things.

I have to say, it would be a very tough call.

15

I know, right! It’s not even a question, really. I mean, I can see someone, sitting at their computer pondering the hypothetical and questioning it, but I believe everyone here would save someone’s life in the moment.

16

Right. There’s no satisfaction in watching him drown by accident.

17

Bully: (desperately treading water) “I can’t hang on much longer!”

Jasmine: “Well, then, we’d better quickly discuss your future behavior!” :smiling_imp:

18

Being a bully is not a capitol crime. I’d save him.

As to what 12 year old me would do, I have no idea, because 12 year olds are children and I never experienced that as a child. There’s a reason we don’t hold kids legally responsible for their actions. Their brains are not fully developed and their instincts and moral judgement are not perfect.

19

One of my core mantras is “treat others the way they treat you”. So no, I personally would not save the life of my bully. Also, I’m not really the type of person that develops guilt on my conscience or anything like that, which helps in this regard.

I would make myself scarce, getting as much distance between the situation and myself, so the police can’t link to me being a suspect. All the while being very quiet about it, needless to say.

This has some parallels to the Ken McElroy murder, in which McElroy, the town bully, was shot by unknown assailants and no bystanders called for medical assistance, and to this date none of them have identified a potential killer. They were just happy to see him gone.

I am of the opinion that there are some people whom the world is 100%, unequivocally, better off without them in it. While it is illegal for others to kill them directly, if ever society lucks into a situation where these people can be offed indirectly, with no legal ramifications, I say take the good fortune and run.

They would have to be a dick to me, either currently or in the past, and also be a present danger to others around them.

20

I had a sadistic gym teacher in HS. Although the situation is a little different, I think it fair to call him a bully, except with authority. For years I would fantasize that I found him hanging on by the fingertips at the edge of a cliff. The fantasy continued that I then got out a hammer…