I recently wanted to thank a friend for some help she gave me over the past few months, so I bought her a nice bottle of wine. I mean, it was a nice bottle. Like 50 bucks nice. The thing is, I don’t want her to down it like the $3.99 dollar bottle I would bring to a dinner or something, but I am not sure she knows enough about wines to be able to tell it was expensive (and I certainly don’t).
So what can I do or say that will let her know this isn’t the usual Ruinite?
Unless you left the price sticker on it, you can’t tell her that it was expensive wine and she should savor it, not guzzle. To do so would only make you sound…well, horrid and stuck up.
Did you give her a nice expensive bottle of wine so she would appreciate your gesture, or so that you would appreciate your gesture?
Well, I admit there is some psychology involved, but if I were drinking the wine, I would want to know if it were expensive – I would just enjoy it more. I don’t really care what my friend thinks of me, but it would be a shame if such a good wine went unappreciated…
Next time, make your gift chocolate and keep the bottle of wine for yourself so you know it’s being appreciated. 
Seriously; no, I wouldn’t tell her it’s an expensive bottle of wine. Once a gift is given, it’s up to the receiver what’s done with it, whether she uses that bottle of wine in marinara sauce or drinks it in shots. If it’s really important to you that your gifts are appreciated, then make sure you don’t buy things for people you think they might not fully appreciate.
Does she know enough that since it will be an unfamiliar label, she’ll figure it out? Maybe you could subtly say, “In appreciation for your help, I wanted to get you something really nice, something different, so I went to the wine store and had the Wine Guy help me pick it out. This is from Snooty Vineyards, bottled in 1998, and it’s supposed to be …blah, blah, blah…”
Without actually telling her the price, you could tell her about the wine, and she would understand that it’s not the usual Boones Farm or Ripple.
If you care more about the wine than your friend’s feelings, then I’m afraid you’re just a jackass who should drink the damn wine himself to make sure it’s properly appreciated. If you’re being facetious, you’re not doing a very good job of it.
Look, if the wine is actually good, as opposed to just expensive, it will be enjoyed and appreciated. If the wine tastes like rancid monkey ass (which, frankly, a lot of wines do regardless of price range), then it’s not actually good wine and doesn’t deserve to be appreciated. Expensive =! good.
I second this principle. Maybe say it was a find or a good deal. Just be kind of subtle about it. Anyway, it’s not like she’s going to turn the bottle over and chug it, right?
Perhaps the issue here is selecting the appropriate gift? If someone can’t tell the difference between good wine and cheap wine, aren’t you wasting the money? I would save the bottle for someone who would really appreciate it, and look elsewhere for a gift for your friend.
This was my thinking. If she’s really into wine, she’ll know if it’s a good brand/year. If she’s not into wine, why did you buy her that?
I was always taught it was WAY tacky to mention gift prices to the person getting the gift. Even leaving the price tag on by accident should be cause for embarrassment.
Besides, why get someone something you’re not sure they’ll “appreciate,” anyway? Shouldn’t the gift fit the person? Why get me an expensive Rolex watch if I’m really happy with the Timex I’ve got AND I would rather have, say, a gift certificate to a book store?
Patty
CrazyCatLady, have we met? I am trying to figure out when I must have pissed you off…
Sorry if my question impressed you as selfish. I really like my friend and wanted to get her something nice. I enjoy buying people I like nice gifts. And I thought that she might feel even nicer if she knew how special the wine was. Yes, there is an irony about wine – price does not necessarily equal quality, but that is part of the whole wine mystique.
I mean, say, CrazyCatMan bought you a frilly silk bra from Fredericks of Hollywood. Would he try to pass it off as from Walmart, or would he make sure you knew it was from Fredericks? However, despite the label, both makes are quite similar in form and function, and without the label, you probably couldn’t tell the difference. Same thing with wine.
My friend does know a bit about wine, but possibly not enough to tell the decent from the really good. Still, I know she would be tickled to have such a nice bottle. I know I would want to know myself.
BiblioCat and Moo the Magic Cow, thanks for the good advice. That sounds like a more delicate way to approach it. Cheers
Hey, if Dr.J were to buy me lingerie, he would simply say, “Hey, I got you something I thought you’d like.” He wouldn’t downplay what it was, but he certainly wouldn’t make a production of it, either. If it fit comfortably and had good support, I’d wear it and enjoy it, regardless of where it came from or how much it cost. If it failed on either of those criteria, I’d pitch it, with no danger of him bemoaning that such a good bra went unappreciated. See, if it wasn’t comfy and supportive, it wasn’t a good bra, just an expensive bra. Same thing with wine. And if he was more concerned about me appreciating how much money he spent on a bra than whether he hurt my feelings or insulted me by harping on what a nice present he’d given me, I’d certainly be calling him a jackass, among other, less pleasant things.
Out of curiosity, what’s up with the “pass it off as Walmart” comment, anyway? Nobody here is saying you should tell her it was an el cheapo wine, just that there’s absolutely no reason to point out to her that it’s an expensive wine. Hovering around saying, in effect, “look what a nice present I gave you, it was so expensve, you have to make sure you properly appreciate this nice, expensive present I got you,” is patronizing and rude. There is never any need to be patronizing and rude to someone, especially a friend. To do so would make one, well, a jackass.
You said that you don’t care what the friend in question thinks of you, you just want to make sure the wine is properly appreciated. If that’s really what you meant, then you’re apparently willing to be patronizing and rude to your friend and are thus a jackass. It’s nothing personal, really, just a frank appraisal of your proposed behavior. Trust me, I’d say the same to anyone else who posted that same comment. And, if you ask me, drinking the wine yourself (possibly while contemplating the receipt) is the easiest, most polite way for you to be sure that it’s being properly appreciated.
Disagreeing with just about everyone I would tell, presuming that she is a fairly good friend. I probably wouldn’t say the exact price but I’d have no issues saying something like: “I got this fancy expensive wine for you, because you deserve to live in luxury” and I don’t see what’s wrong with that. Just make sure it comes across that you bought this lovely wine because the friend is so wonderful and deserving, rather than because you are so wonderful and generous
I gotta say, I’m with CrazyCatLady on this one.
a) polite people don’t tell people what they paid for a present.
b) a gift that won’t be appreciated by the recipient for what it really is, is not a great gift.
c) combining #a and #b, i.e. choosing a poor present, and then telling the recipient that it’s actually a good present because it’s expensive is a particularly bad idea.
Also, as others pointed out, it’s a whole different ball of wax if the context is that this is a special bottle of wine. I.e. you went to a special store, got help in buying it, told the employee about the recipients tastes, learned something about the vinyard, got some context on things, etc. That would make this present a very GOOD present. (note though that this is true even if the price was relatively cheap.)
But that doesn’t seem to be what happened here, or at least that isn’t how it was presented. Rather, you shelled out some big bucks and want her to know that.
Also, in my personal opinion, people who enjoy things more because they are expensive (i.e. can’t tell the difference unless told the price) have dubious taste.
I should note that in the end, you got your friend a present, and an expensive present at that, and that’s a very good thing. Don’t spoil it with bad presentation.
I would agree that coming out with the price of the wine isn’t a good way to give the gift. But I can definitely see where you’re coming from.
The issue I see is, did you pick this bottle of wine just because its price tag said ‘$50?’ If you did, then in my opinion you can be satisfied that you’ve given her a good gift and you should leave it at that. If she doesn’t know enough about wine to appreciate its quality (or price, because price definitely doesn’t mean quality in a lot of situations with wine) and you wanted to give her a gift with a she’d fully appreciate, you may have got her the wrong gift. I definitely wouldn’t take it any further.
But if you’re going to spend $50 on a bottle of wine you shouldn’t just pick a random bottle, you should pick a good make, year, variety, and preferably buy it from a winery or specialty place where you can taste it or at least have it recommended to you. This is definitely what I’d do, mind you I did spend the last few months working on cellar door at a winery. Doing this means you can not only be sure that you’re not wasting your money on bad wine, but you can also feel happy about telling the person you’re giving it to about its quality and background. I don’t think you should ever go into the subject of price though.
A trick I’ve used when giving nice wine as a gift is to put a tag on the bottle that suggests the range of years in which to drink it. Without knowing the price, people will probably assume that a wine best consumed in 2012 is probably not a trifle. And the anticipation is part of the fun.
I hope that folks here will understand that I am not trying to communicate the cost, but rather the quality. My mention in the OP of the price was for SDMB purposes, and not for telling my friend. A agree that price is not the only indicator, but until I get my degree in oenology, that’s as close as I can get.
I should add that I got the bottle from a cave that specialises in fine wines, and is generally known for such. In addition, they wrapped the bottle nicely, and put their sticker on it. That alone might set it apart from the usual bottle of grog.