How should a non-drinker respond to gifts of wine or liquor? It doesn’t seem like it would be polite to state you don’t drink. That’s seems too much like criticizing the gift. “Oh, thank you but I don’t wear sweaters”. But if you don’t tell them then you may be encouraging them to continue with such gifts in the future.
Also, if you have mutual friends or are likely to see them at other get-togethers then it’s likely that they will eventually learn that you don’t drink. That could be awkward if they’ve been giving you wine for years.
Be honest, tell them you don’t drink. I would seriously want to know if I gifted something to someone that had absolutely no desire for the gift, spirts or otherwise. I would never try to give Chocolates to a diebetic or a bible to an atheist. But if I did, I would want to know so I could exchange it or pas it to someone else at least. But I would probably just drink it myself.
What about “Thank you, this will come in very handy when we have company” although I’m not sure if that counts as criticising the gift since it’s basically telling them you wouldn’t drink it on your own. If it’s a hostess gift or a gift from the boss or something, I’d just say thank you and discreetly regift it in a different social circle.
I remember once we were invited to dinner for a friend’s girlfriend’s birthday. Well I say “invited”, but everyone paid their own way. We didn’t know the girlfriend very well but thought we should get a token gift so got her a box of chocolates. It turned out she was allergic - she opened the present, made a face, and handed it to her boyfriend and said “Here. You have these.” Every time I think of her (which admittedly is never, unless someone brings up bad gifts) I think of the face she made, and how fucking ungracious she was.
Depending on the alcohol, I would use it for cooking.
I usually don’t drink, so if someone got me alcohol as a gift, I’d probably thank them and mention my intent to use it for cooking. That way they know I’m grateful, and that I don’t drink.
If they insist I drink it, saying it’s too good for cooking, then as far as I’m concerned they’ve crossed a line, making me free to stare at them blankly until the uncomfortable silence forces them to change the subject.
While I drink occasionally, gifts of bottles of wine these days are usually accepted with a pleased “Thank you!” and then given to someone else. Makes three people happy over one gift.
I don’t drink, but if someone gave me wine or something for a gift, I would thank them. Simple as that. I would use it when I have company, or keep it for decoration. As a matter of fact, someone did bring me some sake once, in a beautiful bottle. It matched my dining room, so I keep it as decoration.
Anytime someone gives you a gift, you should just accept it with much thanks. What’s this about not encouraging them to get you those kinds of gifts in the future? It is not ours to go around discouraging people to give certain kinds of gifts. That seems not right to me.
I generally decline the alcohol, as I really don’t want it in my house. In the days when I did drink, I drank enough to float a small navy. So it’s refused out of self-interest, but politely and with thanks.
Invariably I get a bottle or two of wine each Christmas and I always just accept it and say thank you. The people giving it don’t know I do not drink and I have a wife who does drink on occasion…I’ve not tamed the beast inside but I know how to live with him for 24 hours a day - even with wine in the house.
Most people who know me well enough to give me a gift know I don’t drink. The only time I can think of anyone has given me wine was at work, the big boss (two levels up from me, not someone I knew well) gave everyone a bottle of something or other – I said thanks and passed it on to my sister.
For a hostess present – presumably be at a party, since that’s the only time I’d have people in my house who don’t know me well enough to know I don’t drink – I’d serve it then (I don’t have a problem with serving alcohol in my house) or, if it didn’t get drunk that night, pass it on to my sister, who’s the usual recipient of any post-party leftovers of the alcohol persuasion.
I’ve yet to get alcohol as a gift; most people who know me enough to get me a gift know I don’t drink.
But one of my former sponsors got a bottle of wine as a gift once. She thanked the giver warmly then brought the wine to a party to give as a hostess gift, except that the giver was also there and a little nonplussed at seeing their gift essentially re-gifted. My sponsor saved face by saying that wine that good ought to be shared with friends. She didn’t have to divulge her reason for not drinking and the giver got a warm fuzzy for having good taste in wine.
I haven’t given alcohol as a gift without knowing it’s okay, but if I were to give some to somebody who says they can’t/don’t drink and I didn’t know, I’d not be offended. If they wanted to keep it, to regift or whatever, fine. (I’ve been the regiftee of a couple of bottles in my life under those circumstances.) If they didn’t want it in the house at all, I’d take it back, no problem.
The parents of one of the kids I worked closely with gave me two bottles of wine one Christmas. I’m sure they’re still in the cupboard somewhere. I rarely drink and never wine when I do, but it was a nice gesture.
I would walk to the nearest sink, open it up, pour it down.
No alcohol means no alcohol. Not for cooking, not for passing it on. Nada.
The person who gave it is a complete and total tool. An insensitive jerk of the first magnitude. You never give a gift like that without being sure ahead of time of the person’s feelings. If they don’t care about my feelings, I don’t care about theirs. Some people need an object lesson.
I don’t really understand this. Someone is a fool for giving you gifts? You can’t think of anyone to give it to? Is this “No Alcohol” rule known to every one of your acquaintances?
I don’t drink either, but if someone gave me a nice bottle, I’d be pleased they gave me such a nice gift. I can think of a dozen uses for it. Even if I had no uses for it, it’s a gift. If you aren’t five years old, you know it’s the thought that counts.
Don’t worry about it, though; with that sort of attitude, the day will soon come when you will not be getting many gifts at all.
Seriously? Jeez, that seems harsh. If I was a diabetic and someone gave me chocolates, should I march on over to the garbage disposal and dump them in? If I was an athiest and someone gave me a bible should I douse it with gasoline and light a match?
If you have a moral or practical objection to keeping booze in the house, find a way to politely decline it. Almost all of the people I know who are recovering alcoholics have figured out how to let people know about it without being sanctimonious.
If you just don’t like booze and you know you’ll never drink it or serve it, politely accept it and re-gift it in another setting, or call up that friend of yours with the responsible yet enthusiastic approach to alcohol and offer it up. (Everybody has a friend like that, right? If not–hi, I’m DoctorJ.)
Really, nobody gains anything by being a douchebag about it. Life’s too short.
Why not keep the gift and pour it for future guests who do drink? Doesn’t work for wine unless you have a few wine drinkers over at one time, but in a non-drinker’s house, a handful of liquor bottles in the cabinet can placate thirsty guests for years to come.
