Would you want to be kept alive by machines?

My Dad had a massive stroke last week. I posted a thread about it here.
My Dad cannot communicate with us in any reliable way so my family is left to decide what he would of wanted, and it’s not an easy choice to make.

I’d like to get a general opinion on if you would want to be kept alive by machines or not. Whether it be a feeding tube or a ventilator.

Would it matter if you were mentally aware but could not move? What would be the deciding factor for you?

Thank You.

I would not want to be kept alive by machines. I know there are a lot of different variations, though, and I certainly haven’t thought through all of them.

Basically, if there were a chance I could recover and be normal again–okay. If there’s no chance, then no. And shoot me full of pain killers if death’s going to be painful.

No. No, no and no. ESPECIALLY if I was mentally aware. If I had a decent chance at recovering, then go for it, but if it’s a case of using medical technology to keep a body going because they can, forget it. And if it became obvious a bit down the road that while they thought I might recover but I haven’t, for God’s sake unplug me.

I need to get a living will, but my whole family knows my wishes on this. I am far from alone, either, most of us feel this way. But that doesn’t mean we’re somehow right, of course – this one is up to the individual.

I’m sorry about your dad.

The trouble comes with the fact that it’s not always easy to tell the difference. I’m an example of someone who made a full recovery from a state in which there was little hope. I was mighty glad those machine were able to keep me alive when I needed help.

If my mind is still good, and I have a reasonable means of communication, then keep me alive. If the only thing happening is that these machines are breathing for me, and I’m just a shell of a human, then for God’s sake, pull the plug! Hubby and I have discussed these things at length, and we know one another’s wishes, and will respect them if we ever need to.

Oh, and donate everything that’s inside of me that’s still usable.

The deciding factor for me would be quality of life. Otherwise, give me a large dose of Fentanyl and a large dose of Morphine and extubate me.

Only if my mind was intact, and I was still capable of interacting with the world. Basically, if I could still read and write, and I hadn’t suffered so much brain damage that I’d been reduced to the intellectual level of a toddler.

Otherwise, I would see no reason to prolong a (for me) pointless farce of life. If I’m brain dead, the part that was really “me” is dead already. Let someone else have my organs, and bury what’s left in my hometown.

My $0.02.

Sadly, I had an aunt that got on a machine. For 8 years she dwindled to 50 pounds and then died. The only one who thought the right thing had been done was the priest.

Keep me alive if I have a reasonable chance of recovering some communicative and meaningful life.

Ask the doctors whether I have the reasonable chance, then tell them what to do based on the above.

Actually, even if it would be painless and I would be unaware, it’s sad to think I’d be a painful burden to my family - I want to help them, not burden them. So, now, while I can think about such things, I tell them this and want to think I wouldn’t be kept as a hopeless burden.

If I had the chance to help others by donating organs more quickly, I’d prefer that, too.

I’m very sorry about your dad.

I’m so sorry about your dad, and that you’re family is going through this. I’ve been there with my daughter. The fact that I watched my father suffer through a year of pain, while he was on machines, and just wanted to be let go helped me decide for my child. I have a living will and so does hubby.

I don’t want to be breathed for, or have my heart pumped. But I DO want to be fed and watered, even if by tubes into my stomach, even if I’m not conscious.

When my grandfather was dying, my father was hot to remove the saline IV because it was “intrusive”. I disagreed. I don’t want anybody yanking out my IV until I’m dead.

To my way of thinking, there’s a difference between machines that breathe for me and pump my blood for me, and machines that feed me. I wouldn’t want to linger for years in an Iron Lung. But I also don’t want to die of thirst or starvation.

For me the deciding factor would be if my mind was still functioning and if I could communicate in some way. If not, pull the plug. But look at Stephen Hawking - what would the world have lost if someone else decided that his life wasn’t worth living.

Of course, if I could communicate, I could let my wishes be known. If there’s any chance that your father will recover enough to be able to let his wishes be known, I’d say wait for that. You can’t undo something like that, but you can always do it later if his quality of life looks like it will never improve.

My sympathy and prayers, if you’ll accept them.

StG

My deepest sympathies to your family.

There are a lot of shades of grey to consider. My own father has made it exceedingly clear he would never consent to any heroic measures, however I’ve told him often that if he’s unable to speak for himself and I’m the advocate, I’ll decide based on the situation. Huge difference between being kept alive and a life-saving technique being used temporarily, IMO.

Is there a reasonable expectation of recovery? That’s pretty much how I’d decide for any of my loved ones, and hope that would be their deciding consideration for me also.

My grandmother had a surgery that should have been relatively routine, even at 80. Her kidneys couldn’t quite cope with the general anesthetic and being of the ‘stiff upper lip’ generation, she kept quiet about her symptoms until she passed out at home. An ER trip resulted in her being placed in ICU where dialysis was quickly begun, her blood pressure was sky high but every doctor consulted felt confident she’d recover. After most of the family went home, she suffered a crisis and her heart went into arrhythmia. Her SO was her legal representative and he wanted to follow her wishes about not being kept alive by machines, so he refused any treatment. She then had a full heart attack and died.
I’m sure that was a very difficult position for him to be in. I can even sympathize with the horror he must have felt trying to fulfill her desires and yet naturally want to do everything possible.
It took me, and most of the rest of the family, a good while to get over our resentment at what most of us felt was the wrong choice. Everything happened so quickly, start to finish was under 24 hours, but hearing all those positive prognoses and then getting that awful phone call a few hours later was mind-boggling. We’ll never know if she’d have recovered or not, and that added to our grief immeasurably.

If your own father hasn’t made his desires crystal clear, my advice would be to exhaust all reasonable measures, but not keep him alive if there’s no hope.

In June 1995 I received a traumatic brain injury in an automobile accident. I was kept alive on machines for five days. I did not know anything about it except what I have been told. In fact, I do not know anything about the first month after the accident. I have recovered, I’d say it took about 6 years. I had to learn to walk and use my hands and chew before I swallowed. I was released from the hospital after 6 weeks. I could not function by myself and I did not have the mental capacity to even watch television. For a year, when someone was not with me, I sat on the couch, held my cat, and wished that I had had the motor skills to hang myself. All my guns had been sold, the knives and such locked up, poisons and medications were locked up. I was so desperate that once I tried to get in the bathtub with a window fan. I am independent now. I can read and do math and drive. I have returned to school at 40.

All in all my experience has been a remarkable opportunity for personal growth and development. I WOULD RATHER DIE BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN THE RAIN THAN DO IT AGAIN.

One other thing: Terri Shaivo is kept alive by desperation more than love.

Only if it doesn’t cost my family anything - otherwise, why not? I figure, if I am unconscious it doesn’t matter what state I am, and there’s always a chance I might recover, and if I’m conscious, if I decide the existence is too much for me I’ll end it or have it ended. The way medical technology is advancing, I believe we’ll have an end to non-violent death within my lifetime. I don’t want to die just a decade or two short.

Having played this game once before with my grandfather, I can testify that it DOES cost something, one way or another.

If the mind is gone… and/or I cannot control my hands, and have therefore become a brain in a box… someone shoot me. Please.

My will is quite clear, as are various other documents I’ve made and put in the safety deposit box.

And if my wife and kid can figure out a way to do me in, get away with it, and collect the insurance, I’d bless 'em for it.

Having watched two brothers die slow deaths, one being removed from life support, I can tell you the front row seat to death is nothing I would wish on my true friends or my children, but it is something most of us will encounter head on one day.

If I am unable to communicate ( words or use of my hands so I can type) I do not want to live.

If I am in constant pain unless heavily medicated, I do not want to live.

If breathing is laborous and will not get better, If I cannot read a book, newspaper or go on-line so as to keep my mind active. I do not want to live.

If I start receiving visitors who all have terriblely polite quiet bedside manners instead of rude jokes, fart humor and provide me with totally useless knowledge, I will pull the farking plug myself.

If the quality of my life is that where I am in a group home or nursing home ( a tie for the most depressing places on the planet outside of a warzone and reality TV and famine.) watching TV and sleeping all day and I end up calling my fat nurses aid, " Mama." That is not life. shoot me.

I do not want to be an emotional, physical or financial burden on my family. I would rather they be able to remove support and get on with life and sell my assests to balm their sorrow by padding their bank accounts, rather than selling my assets to fund keeping me alive if I am in a persistant vegatative state/irreversable/incurable disease. My life’s assests ( 2003 value: $27.00, after taxes and depreciation.) should go to the living as a legacy of hope, not to drag out the inevitable.

[Hijack]

hlanelee, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, you are one of the quiet heroes out there. Perhaps the reason why you survived through things that most of us cannot fathom is so that you can help someone else through the crushing sorrow, incapacity and depression.

Kudo’s ( and M&m’s :slight_smile: ) to you! [size=1] I also agree with the Terry Schiavo situation. It’s pathetic.

Do you still have the cat?

[hijack]

Pardon on the above spelling and coding errors. Society is to blame.

I think that’s my biggest problem. I don’t know when to give up hope. I’m a Christian and I believe in hope, I live by hope. How can I give up on my Dad? I don’t want to be a part of a decision I’m going to regret, and that scares me.

I have no idea what the process is like if we take the feeding tube out. I can’t bare to see him in pain while he’s starving to death, but yet at the same time I can’t stand seeing him lying in bed for years in some custodial care facility.

Thank you all for your responses and sympathy.

and hlanelee, I’m glad you’re still with us :slight_smile: