I lust after this beauty. (Or this one, or this one.) <sigh> Too bad I both can’t afford them and would never be able to get them shipped to me. Damn weapons laws.
I promise I wouldn’t hit anyone with them.
That could mar the edges. 
silenus, are you single? Will you marry me, my set of black lacquered Chinese swords that don’t try to pass as anything but Chinese swords and my replica of Gimli’s axe? OK, I haven’t bought the axe yet but it’s in the wishlist.
I can just picture the conversation with the INS guy…
I wish I could claim it as my own, but I heard it many years ago on a show nobody remembers, Fractured Flickers, kind of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 thirty years before its time.
I can relate to the OP: in keeping with my philosophy of “be your own Santa,” I ordered away for my own Khukuri from Nepal. The kudzu now trembles at my approach.
Sleel, I’m right there with you on those beauties. But the wife has put a moratorium on new steel until we move into a bigger place. Something about “having a house where you don’t trip over weaponry in every single room.” I think it was the katana by the front door (for Jehovah’s Witnesses) that caused her to issue the edict. 
What a good idea… and to think I was calling my dog satan when they came would make any difference at all… Pure genius to put the weaponry near the door!
The katana, the broadsword and the sabre are all within reach of the front door. Decisions, decisions…
I bought a battle-axe from the widow of my ex-wife’s fourth husband (everybody involved being in the SCA). Nice one-hand job, with a spike on the back and a steel haft. I keep it next to the bed.
Here’s an illustration of how well my girlfriend knows me: late last year I was temporarily crippled with a severed quadriceps tendon, and had to get around slowly and painfully, with a crutch. I said to my girlfriend, “You know what really scares me about having to use this crutch?” She asked, “What?” Momentarily embarrassed, I said, “Well, it’s – you know, the same reason I keep that axe next to my bed.” She stared at me for a moment, and said, “Zombies? You’re afraid you won’t be able to move fast enough to get away from zombies?”
Yet, she stays with me.
man, I am lucky. I got a falchion for my birthday this year, and a hand and a half sword the year before. It’s good to be me I guess.
Battle-axes & other medieval facsimile weaponry are not dorky for Christmas gifts; they are hella-cool!
This is dorky- the fact that I actually requested for Christmas (and happily received) the new Dover reprint of the early 1900s Vernon Stauffer book NEW ENGLAND AND THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI (retitled THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI IN AMERICA: THE NEW ENGLAND SCARE 1798).
Thanks, Amber! (She also got me the DVD of the George Hearn-Angela Lansbury SWEENY TODD).
An ex girlfriend asked me to get her some handcuffs for her birthday which rather surprised me as I had no idea that she was interested in police memorabilia.